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Please tell me I'll feel better soon

(6 Posts)
alicemac83 Thu 09-Jan-14 09:20:29

Hi, I suffered from pnd 3 years ago, took citalopram and had counselling. Since then I've been totally back to normal and put it firmly in my past. Then last week I felt the old feelings coming back- panic, hopelessness, depression, feeling like I'm watching other people from behind glass, feeling envious of everyone else, feeling disconnected from my family. I phoned my doc who said it was January blues but I know it isn't. I told my boss yesterday who was lovely and I'm seeing my doc today. I guess I thought pnd was a one-off but maybe I need to accept that I might suffer from depression? Xx

Preciousbane Thu 09-Jan-14 09:25:11

Go along to your GP and tell them everything, write it down if you have to because the stress of it all can make us a bit forgetful. You have recognised your not feeling as you should and that is a very good thing.

You don't have to answer but have you had anything especially stressful recently because something may have triggered an episode. It may not be one huge thing either it could be a collection of smaller worries.

I think 1 in 3 or 4 people will suffer from a MH incident in their lives with the majority being depression. Please don't feel odd or bad about this, it happens to the best of us.

Your doing the best thing and good luck at the Doctors today.

alicemac83 Thu 09-Jan-14 09:58:53

Hi, thanks so much for your reply, I moved to a new town 5 on this ago but I've been really happy. I think the trigger could be that last week my daughter was really, really difficult for a few days. It was the worst she's ever been (normally very good). I shouted and she said she didn't love me. I started feeling negative towards her, and then I started panicking that the pnd was back. It's just got worse since then xxx

Preciousbane Thu 09-Jan-14 16:21:08

Well moving is one of the top three stressful things to do, we are hoping to move and I am getting a bit of stress induced itching. I'm not even relocating as well and hoping to move only two roads away!

I was friends with a few social workers quite a few years ago when we were all trade union stewards. I remember telling one that my little boy who was about five at the time had told me he hated me, I was very upset. She just said to me that is one secure little boy and it is great he can say how he feels. This made perfect sense to me as I grew up with an abusive Mother who I was incredibly scared of and would never have said anything like that to.

I think your being very tough on yourself, I had PND with both my dc and I certainly questioned and monitored myself far too harshly.

It is hard to write but at least you know the triggers, I'm glad you felt as if you could as I have had literally exactly the same experience so hope what I have written is helpful. My DS is now a almost a teen and much taller than me and has NO idea I ever had PND.

All the best.

alicemac83 Sat 11-Jan-14 21:49:46

Thank you preciousbane, your post has given me great comfort. I think ever since pnd I have constantly analysed my feelings towards dd, so when we had the horrible few days I panicked that I didn't love her. That's lead to the way I feel right now, which sadly is numb to most emotions. I think counselling will really help me resolve some of these issues xxx

Preciousbane Sun 12-Jan-14 01:57:02

Good luck with the counselling, I had counselling after the birth of my second dc and it did help me a lot.

Feeling numb is a bit of a self protection thing but really not a pleasant way of being. I would try and distract yourself with a bit of time out if possible.

The other thing you may like to consider if the association for post natal illness. They had a support scheme, they are at apni.org/

I am on MN most days, I should really be doing something more constructive, Like laundry. You are very welcome to PM me if you need some help or just want a chat.

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