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Some one please talk to me

(12 Posts)
Katkins1 Sun 15-Dec-13 13:43:54

I'd really appreciate some-one talking to me right now. I'm a single Mum, have PTSD, really struggling. I'm a student, so my finances have hit a really bad patch- no money for anything now, overdrawn, having to put things back at the shop because I can't afford, living off my tax credits and child benefit until I get paid again on Jan 6th. I've borrowed loads, all of which needs to be paid back.
Have made no plans for xmas, got huge essays to prepare for uni which I'm pretty certain I'm going to fail because I haven't read enough/done enough. Not even got enough money to buy printer paper or credits for printing at uni now. I'm so fed up, I have started pulling my hair with my hairbrush and telling myself how worthless I am, and today I punched myself in the face. Now have a huge load of ironing and school uniforms to sort out, and can't bring myself to do it. I can't cope. Some-one please talk to me.

SnowyMouse Sun 15-Dec-13 14:05:46

Hi Katkins1

It sounds like you have a lot of pressures at the moment fsad Would ticking things you have to do off a list help you see that you are making progress? How old are your DC?

twentyten Sun 15-Dec-13 14:11:48

Sounds really tough- I'm sorry. Does your Uni ave student support or counselling? They might have a pone line to call or call Samaritans.
Can you get outside for a bit? Fresh air may help breathe. You can do this. But seek help. Not a sign of weakness. What really needs ironing?smoothe and fold? Have a cup of tea. And write how you feel.

Katkins1 Sun 15-Dec-13 14:11:51

Hi snowymouse

I have one DD, 6. I'm a single Mum, and final year student. I think we all start to feel a bit stressed right now, but its harder if you already struggle isywim. I am making a list tonight- make one every week, most of my essay is there in notes, I'm just stressed it's not good enough, and I really need it to be because I've been offered a masters next year- if I get the grades!

Katkins1 Sun 15-Dec-13 14:16:31

I have a private counsellor, twentyten. On a break for xmas now, and I couldn't afford last session before the break. I was thinking of switching after the new year, I feel as though we have done a year and half, but I'd like a change and/or break. I have a long history of abuse, neglect and its hard to get over. Everything needs ironing, so I will look in a bit at what's essential for the week, and what can wait until another time. I might phone my Dad and ask if I can "borrow" (ha ha!) a little bit of cash, that might help ease the pressure.

twentyten Sun 15-Dec-13 14:26:15

Sorry to hear- talking to your dad sounds like a plan. Just think about what must be done today- hanging stuff up where it's warm eliminates creases! Be kind to yourself. Talk to your tutor as well if you are struggling. Break down the task- bite sized chunks. Good luck

Katkins1 Sun 15-Dec-13 15:38:08

Thank you. I have sorted out some clothes at least, now sat here with a coffee until I can bring myself to put it all away, vacuum, tidy up and sort out the evening meal. Then I think I need to make that list, and write something else, before tackling the essay tomorrow. Its due in Jan 8th, which seems ages away, but its not long at all. I was planning to get a first draft finished by the end of the week, so then I'd have 2/3 weeks re-drafting time (I hope...)

twentyten Sun 15-Dec-13 16:54:05

Write that list. And then think about what actually doesn't need doing. Vacuuming can always wait in my book......... Having a sense of control does. Look at the calendar. Block in when realistic to work. Plan in chunks. Good luck

Katkins1 Sun 15-Dec-13 18:31:01

Thank you. I have made the list. I was thinking about asking for an alternative assessment, but maybe I'm not as far off writing it as I think. I'm 2,800 words in to 4,000; with most of it in notes (its a reflective diary thing), so if I keep reading as I go, it might not be too bad.

AuntySib Sun 15-Dec-13 18:48:55

So you're more than halfway there with the assignment, that's great! I think the assignment timing is not helpful - but do you have this coming week child-free - I mean, are your DC's at school? If so, you'll have time to get another chunk done before the school holidays, hopefully.|I can see it will be difficult once the children are off school, but they'll probably be happy to chill in front of the TV for a while , while you're working. Don't feel bad if you have to let them entertain themselves - you're studying for a better life for all of you.

Forget ironing, no-one is going to care if you're all a bit crumpled! House can stay messy/unvacuumed, or maybe kids can help with that?

Prioritise - do the most vital stuff first, leave the rest if necessary. So you need to put food on the table - so is visit to Dad required before you can do that? Is there food in the house for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow?
Next, get uniform clean for tomorrow - I have been known to sponge down trousers rather than wash them when really pushed for time. But it sounds as if you are ahead - if you've got ironing to do,you must already have washed the clothes!
Then once the kids are in school, you can turn your thoughts to your studies.
It's really hard trying to juggle everything yourself, but it does sound as if you are actually quite organised, and that money worries are the main issue. Please don't beat yourself up, you are doing a good job !

Katkins1 Sun 15-Dec-13 22:10:05

I do have this week child free, yes, was planning on doing pretty much of all the assignment this week. I did a bit more tonight, its 3,000 words but needs an edit before I can carry on with it as there's a lot more than I want to put in. I e-mailed my tutor for some suggestions of things that I can do if I can't actually get it in on time, but if I spend a good day reading and stuff tomorrow then I might be OK. Bit too tired tonight- but at least I have got somewhere with it (albeit slowly). I spoke to Dad, he said he will help me when he gets paid. Other friends have offered to help, too. The house is still a tip, but can't have everything eh?

twentyten Mon 16-Dec-13 08:09:52

Well done. First things first. You've made progress. With the house- set a timer for 15 min blitz breaks during your work. Amazing what you can do in 15 mins. Good luck

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