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What is this bad feeling?

(72 Posts)
Deadswan Sun 15-Dec-13 10:45:24

I feel bad, sometimes so bad I am suicidal. Medicines (diazepam/antidepressants/antipsychotics) don't take it away. It is not depression or anxiety. I wonder if some one has experienced the same. Psychiatrist does not understand it.

violetsrblue Sun 15-Dec-13 20:37:28

Is it a feeling of chronic emptiness? Because that can be a symptom of BPD (Borderline). Have you looked into mindfulness at all, because that can help?

Deadswan Sun 15-Dec-13 20:46:56

The feeling is painful. like mental nausea. Really annoying because nothing helps. I had it before but it went away when I got otherwise better. It took years sad

LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA Sun 15-Dec-13 20:50:07

I suffer from anxiety an depression, i dont know if its the same but sometimes i just get a "feeling" its horrible and i can feel it washing over me. I saw this on someone's facebook page today - it pretty much summed it up for me - what i liked was that the dog was on a lead by the end of the clip. black dog

Deadswan Mon 16-Dec-13 10:51:56

I watched the clip. I have feelings of depression,too, but this is like a parasite stuck to my spinal cord. I was told it could be depression combined with mixed or hypo mania. I got my meds topped up and depression lessened within days but bad feeling stays. Last time round it disappeared itself after tormenting me for years. No medicine helped then eithersad

ashamedoverthinker Mon 16-Dec-13 11:41:22

Can you expand on 'bad feeling' at all?

Deadswan Mon 16-Dec-13 13:25:23

The feeling is painful around the body, takes all the energy, on the other hand it gives energy and doesn't let me stay put. I can feel high but somehow I feel bad at the same time. It just stays until it leaves. I would describe it as a parasite.

ashamedoverthinker Mon 16-Dec-13 13:42:33

So it is physical...I have experienced being run down in relation to depression and had alsorts of tests, even a chest xray

I used to get aches in pains in my arms and legs, mostly arms I felt like an old women. So I can relate to what you say a little bit.

Have you had a physical cause ruled out?

It is possible that it is psychosomatic.

This really messed with my head when I was first diagnosed with depression and I realised that my physical illnesses the string infections could be caused/contribute to depression. It is a bit like the chicken and the egg scenario. The mind and body affect each other far more than we realise.

I dont know if this helps you in any way but I hope you find relief soon. Do you have someone to talk to about your thoughts in RL?

Deadswan Mon 16-Dec-13 14:15:09

Thanks for the answer! I had years ago as well. Probably it is partly psychosomatic. I would describe it as mental nausea. Pity no med helps.

ashamedoverthinker Mon 16-Dec-13 14:42:35

I think the feelings we encounter when depressed are so varied and different that it is sometimes hard to convey exactly how they are.

Would it help to start seeing it as part of the depression and if you continue to work on that it will go again - I dont know just trying to think something positive until you get through this episode.

I know it can be quite debilitating. Keep it simple and try to get move around an get out everyday to distract yourself.

Deadswan Wed 26-Mar-14 09:54:47

I finally got my psychotherapy assessment and it could be that my bad feeling originates from my childhood. As no med has ever helped I am really interested in seeing if therapy would help.

Maybe it's derealisation/depersonalisation? Feeling numb and detached from things?

Deadswan1 Sun 04-May-14 10:12:52

Now the psychiatrist has came out with the idea that my bad feeling is psychotic. Sounds very odd. Anyone else?

Howmuch101 Sun 04-May-14 19:14:45

I started a thread on here not so long ago about a 'weird bad feeling' when I was in a pretty weird place. I couldn't describe the feeling and no one could relate. Just an awful head-wrecky feeling that would hit me and then pass eventually.

I had to make peace with the fact the it was individual to me and perhaps it was my anxiety/depression in that the lonliness and isolation in not being able to describe it was a kind of total despair and that fits on with depression.

I also considered it was psychotic too given I could explain the 'weird bad feeling'. But then perhaps that was just severe anxiety making me focus on a feeling it here would not.

I hope that makes sense. It's awful to feel like you're alone in this but in feeling that way you're not, if that makes sense.

Howmuch101 Sun 04-May-14 19:15:57

Sorry for the typos. Hope you can still understand. * focus on a feeling others would not

Howmuch101 Sun 04-May-14 19:17:24

Ashamed had same kind of sentiment as me I think.

Howmuch101 Sun 04-May-14 19:25:18

I explained it like this at the time: Thank you everyone. I don't think I'll ever find out what's wrong with me as I can't explain it. That's the worst bit. It's like it suddenly becomes painful to go through the day. If I could yes I'd go to bed and curl in a ball but I can't. I'm worried it's something biochemically wrong with me. I can only hope it resolves eventually.

Howmuch101 Sun 04-May-14 19:27:49

* couldn't explain the feeling

Deadswan1 Sun 04-May-14 20:32:53

Howmuch101: thanks for answering. your description of your bad feeling resembles mine. I never thought it could be psychotic. The other explanations has been depression, but I am not currently depressed. Or childhood trauma, but why it disappeared when I am fine. I am trying antipsychotics now. I was already on lower dose, but now the dose has been increased.

Howmuch101 Sun 04-May-14 20:36:19

I have childhood trauma too. X

Howmuch101 Sun 04-May-14 20:37:22

I should say not abuse - more big badly handled emotional things.

Howmuch101 Sun 04-May-14 20:38:35

Is it panicking you that your feeling doesn't seem to neatly 'fit' into any description of depression/anxiety? It did me.

Deadswan1 Sun 04-May-14 20:40:11

I will get therapy for this trauma sometime in future. Maybe it helps for the bad feeling. It feels like nobody knows what's up. Three different opinions from three different persons.

Deadswan1 Sun 04-May-14 20:42:38

I never panicked but was confused that it did not fit in anxiety/ depression description. Psychotic sounds odd as well but I have other mild psychotic symptoms.

Howmuch101 Sun 04-May-14 20:54:08

I think I did too when I was very 'bad' with depression (PND).

Can I ask what your other psychotic symptoms were?

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