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Please help me word a card for my adorable 16 year oldest has just tried to kill herself !

(32 Posts)
aldiconvert Thu 12-Dec-13 22:05:56

A complete shock. She took an overdose of pain killers and ran a bath .... Luckily she called a friend to say goodbye and her friend wisely rang her mum and she got medical help in time thank god. She is currently in a psychiatric unit .....although there are a few things I can think of that may be issues , I would never have thought any if them would lead to this .... I want to send a card / letter but am at a loss as what to put and am in shock .... We are close ....

I'm so sorry to hear this.
What sort of card do you mean? Do you want just something brief so she knows you're thinking of her even when you're not with her? Or something more?
Do you have a partner? Other children? Does she live with you?

I hope she gets well soon

WhatWouldFreddieDo Thu 12-Dec-13 22:10:40

sorry my love, but your OP is confusing - is this your daughter or your friend's daughter?

AngryFeet Thu 12-Dec-13 22:10:57

A card for your daughter who tried to kill herself? Sorry that sounds odd. Surely you should be going to see her?

LEMisafucker Thu 12-Dec-13 22:12:13

Oh, i am so sorry to read this - i could not read and not answer, only i just don't know what to say. I am hoping that the fact that she called her friend was because she actually decided that she wants to live! if that makes sense.

Are you allowed to see her?

I would keep the card simple - no promises of things being ok, no offers to talk, no pressure but just tell her that you love her, that she is your daughter and you love her no matter what and will always be there for her.

I hope she recovers soon xxx

birdybear Thu 12-Dec-13 22:12:41

Tell her that she can take one moment at a time, deal with bad thoughts each one at a time. That feelings aren't facts. That how she feels isn't necessarily how things really are. That you Will always love her . But mostly, that things never stay the same. She won't always feel the same way about her life that she does now. So she needs to get through the bad times so she can experience the good.

Hope this helps x

am assuming the OP is there as much as she can but wants a card to be there when she's not. Agree it is confusing though, but can understand being slightly incoherent at a time like this.

LEMisafucker Thu 12-Dec-13 22:14:19

ah ok, wwfd i think you are right - is this a friends DD? If so a simple "get well soon" card or a "thinking of you card" will be best - just that really, I wouldn't write anything else.

aldiconvert Thu 12-Dec-13 22:18:11

Sorry ....it meant to read 16 year old niece .... Posted without checking properly as head a mess ... Sorry for confusion ....

aldiconvert Thu 12-Dec-13 22:23:00

The above posts have already given me great help as my head is whirling and can't think straight like I usually would ... It is my niece who tried to kill herself .... My lovely sister in law told me and I have not visited yet .... I wanted to attempt to write something a bit more than a simple get well soon because we are close and if it is nice I thought she might be able to read it over again and again if it helps , maybe at times when she is on own ....

aldiconvert Thu 12-Dec-13 22:26:15

Thank you Lem , birdy and stealth ....

Theas18 Thu 12-Dec-13 22:30:02

I think tell her what you've told us- that's she's adorable - and why and that you love her to bits.

Tell her you understand that she felt things were as bad as they could ever be, or worse and that she can always ring/text and you'll listen without judging her . I'd also put the Samaritans number/web details.

Then I'd be 100% certain that if that call ever came I'd be there.

WaitingForPeterWimsey Thu 12-Dec-13 22:43:56

I think say that you love her. You sound like a lovely aunt btw - I hope she gets well soon.

aldiconvert Thu 12-Dec-13 22:51:06

I was also going to give her a Christmas card with this poem / reflection in... What do you think ? Suitable or too cheesy ? I love it but appreciate it is not everyone's cup of tea....

There once was a shining Christmas tree
Standing out where all could see.
Its brilliance captured every eye
And seemed to cheer each passer by.

"The lights are so bright," they would say
And hesitate to walk away.
The tree stood proud ablaze with light
For every light was burning bright.

Then some bulb was heard to say
"I'm tired of burning night and day;
I think I'll just go out and take a rest
For I'm too tired to do my best;
Besides I am so very small
I doubt if I'd be missed at all."

Then a child lovingly touched the light,
"Look, mother, this one shines so very bright.
I think of all the lights upon the tree
This one looks the best to me."

"Oh my goodness," said the light
"I almost dimmed right out of sight.
I thought perhaps no one would care
If I failed to shine my share."
With that a glorious brilliance came
For every light had felt the same.

Our Gospel, like this Christmas tree,
With little lights which are you and me,
We each have a space that we must fill
With love, and lessons and good will.
Let's keep our tree ablaze with light,
With testimonies burning bright.
For our Gospel is a living tree
That lights the way to eternity.

HerrenaHarridan Thu 12-Dec-13 22:51:47

Tell her her is nothing she could do or say or think that would ever stop you loving her.
That there is always another way out and you will help her find a way anytime of the day or night.

sad

knittedslippersx3 Thu 12-Dec-13 23:01:51

Lovely poem! I have a dd who has been in a similar situation. I'm going to copy the poem and stick it up in the kitchen. You sound like a very close, loving family. I think you should write how you feel about her from the heart. I hope she feels happier soon, it's a heartbreaking thing to go through but there is happiness the other side of this.

Littlegiraffe Thu 12-Dec-13 23:10:44

I would avoid saying anything about understanding. She will most probably be in a mindset that no one understands. And, to be fair, unless you've been in that state of mind, you can't possibly understand what she's feeling.
Just tell her you love her, and that you will always be there for her. Tell her that she can talk to you anytime, and that you cannot imagine your world without her. Verses and poems might be too much for her just now, but you could maybe consider something like that at some point in the future, when she's in a better place.

Hugs to you and you family. Thinking of your lovely niece. X

Spickle Sat 14-Dec-13 13:15:55

aldiconvert hugs to your and your niece.

I'm in the same boat, my niece took an overdose and cut her wrists yesterday morning. Not life threatening but think there could be damage to her kidneys. She has mental health issues and only a few years older than your niece. I feel helpless but have taken advice from posters above and written to her. They don't live near us so although we will visit as often as we can, it's never enough is it?

aldiconvert Sat 14-Dec-13 13:34:55

Spickle ... So sorry ... Glad some of the above posts were of help to you too ...

Branleuse Sat 14-Dec-13 13:41:30

just go and see her and listen to her

XmasLogAndHollyOn Sat 14-Dec-13 18:03:10

Go and see her. Don't ask her why she did it. Just tell her that you love her and you're glad she's still with you.

Talk some little gifts, tell her you love her.

MrsDeVere Sat 14-Dec-13 18:08:51

I lost my niece earlier this year. Unfortunately she didn't call anyone and was not found in time.

The things I wanted to say to her but couldn't were how proud I was of her, how she had come so far despite all she had been through, how much people cared about her, how I appreciated how hard things had been for her.

mirry2 Sat 14-Dec-13 18:11:21

Mrsdevere you are so right. That's what I would put in a card

aldiconvert Sat 14-Dec-13 20:05:16

Mrsdevere ... So sorry for your loss... Truly tragic

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