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I saw a black swan dying

(17 Posts)
thedyingswan Sun 08-Dec-13 19:21:37

I was walking in town, and suddenly saw a black swan who was shivering and obviously dying. I got scared. But the thing was that it was only a black rubbish bag. Not a swan. What does this mean. I have been feeling suicidal lately.

BigArea Sun 08-Dec-13 23:13:49

Hello swan sorry it's been ages since you posted. Are you ok? What sticks out to me here is the suicidal thoughts you've been having. What is your mental health history? Do you have any health professionals who look after you? You sound very poorly to me.

thedyingswan Mon 09-Dec-13 10:15:59

I suffer from depression and sometimes see things. I am on medication but it does not seem to work.

The swan had so bright eyes and it was so obvious she is going to die. I was in shock and thought we must stop her suffering.

BigArea Mon 09-Dec-13 10:30:26

That sounds really sad sad

Do you think it's worth going to the GP to have your meds reviewed? I hope you can - I'd ring and see if you can make an emergency appointment today. You are clearly unwell and suicidal thoughts definitely constitute an emergency.

thedyingswan Mon 09-Dec-13 10:52:15

I have a med review coming in couple of days. I won't do anything before that. I feel unwell but able to cope until then.

When I see these things it feels I am in some kind of zone. I can see to another reality. Then suddenly I come back. Poor swan. I can't forget how bad she looked. Hopefully some one helped her.

thedyingswan Mon 09-Dec-13 13:57:32

oh no. I was supposed to see cpn tomorrow, but she is off sick this week. I thought I could survive until med review with her help. Now I don't have anything. Really downer.

BigArea Mon 09-Dec-13 23:56:11

Sorry I've only just seen your post. Who do you need to call to book an emergency appointment with someone else?

thedyingswan Tue 10-Dec-13 13:43:29

The review is tomorrow. I will make it there.

SnowyMouse Tue 10-Dec-13 14:02:49

Good luck, thinking of you.

thedyingswan Wed 11-Dec-13 17:14:16

The review was good in theory but not in practise. As my cpn is off sick other cpn was supposed to call me this afternoon to ask how I am. Nobody called.
Also, more support was promised by seeing cpn once or twice a week. I am starting to think this won't happen either.

sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad

SnowyMouse Wed 11-Dec-13 18:26:28

Oh no thedyingswan, what went wrong with the review, or was that what your CPN was supposed to be doing? I hope you do get the support you need.

thedyingswan Thu 12-Dec-13 06:34:08

The fact that no one called me. I can't believe other promises will take place either. I don't really know how that place works. If I can just call them.

thedyingswan Mon 16-Dec-13 16:54:06

Cmht is not working at all. Too many people are sick. I was more promised more support but it is not materialising. Tomorrow I will go to gp to ask what should I do.

AutumnStarOfWonder Mon 16-Dec-13 16:59:35

How have you been feeling the last couple of days swan? Can you get an appointment tomorrow?

thedyingswan Mon 16-Dec-13 17:06:57

I have been feeling little bit better after bigger dose of med. I still have suicidal thoughts. I can get an appointment tomorrow, if I want. This forgetting to call has happened twice. Why even bother to promise to call if they are so out of work force.

AutumnStarOfWonder Mon 16-Dec-13 17:12:59

Glad you're feeling a bit better. I think it's definitely worth a visit tomorrow. Explain what's happened in the last couple of weeks and make it clear you need support. Hope they can help you a bit more smile

thedyingswan Mon 16-Dec-13 18:59:43

I should be blamed too. I was not completely honest with the psych. When he started to mention crisis team/hospital my suicidality decreased. But at the end I was happy with the plan he suggested about more support etc.

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