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Please talk to me about PND, CBT and anti depressants?

(105 Posts)
batterylow Mon 02-Dec-13 12:18:45

I have had a rough year, rough ten years if I am honest. But since dd2 was ten weeks old it felt like I was living in some kind of ground hog day when every day was impossible and her poor sleep meant I couldn't look forward to evenings either or ever get more than a tiny amount of sleep.

Our family life is really stressful, older child has sn and I knew I didn't feel right but kept thinking its circumstantial, couldn't face the gp due to anxiety about kids being removed, being out on anti depressants making me overweight (I know these two are not equal worries but have not been myself for a while!!)

Dh then had an affair which has been horrible to deal with but on the other hand has forced us both to look at our problems rather than carry on living separate lives in the same house. All sorts of things have been going on and I am not sure what the outcome of my relationship will be but am not making a final decision just yet for various reasons. I am due to start CBT in jan but still haven't been to the gp (self referred to CBT) but feel I am not managing very well and having panic attacks, horrible obsessive thoughts, feel hopeless about at least the immediate future. I know all this is normal considering my dh has betrayed me so badly but I felt so out of it and low before that that I think I could have PND but would the gp say its too late to diagnose this now(baby is 17months)? Would taking anti depressants help with cbt or would it make it less effective? I don't feel like my gp is particularly clued up with MH issues and my anxiety is that they will say as both dh and I are depressed, the children are unsafe?

batterylow Wed 18-Dec-13 22:37:29

A friend of mine said the same about orgasm newname but so far I am unaffected so hopefully it will stay that way. It's a shame there have to be so many side effects.

My sleep is worse . I take my tablet in the morning then take Kalms at night but they no longer work. And yes, the night sweats are horrible.

Thanks bigarea, you too! And thanks for all your kind words it really does help.

Not a great evening but relationship stuff caused it , I also know I will be more rational tomorrow even if I don't feel it tonight.

BigArea Wed 18-Dec-13 22:27:07

Battery that's fab news I am so pleased for you - so great to be feeling better before Christmas. Hope you and yours have a lovely one fsmile

NewName123 Wed 18-Dec-13 14:48:43

I do find that I am so laid back that I keep putting things off till tomorrow.
How is your sleep? Mine is better than it has been for years except the night sweats (yuck)
The only down side of the tablets is that it has affected my ability to have an orgasm (whispers)
Trying to get things back on track with DH but this won't help. Not sure what to do about it. Have read that Viagra has been used to help women on SSRI's with about a 50% success rate. GP won't prescribe it though fblush

batterylow Wed 18-Dec-13 12:51:55

That sounds exactly how I am , social anxiety loads better, more laid back (in the day time but hoping the evenings will improve as it kicks in more) but a bit hot and cope less well withy he tiredness. I am finding though that say for example I have to write the Christmas cards or some other task, ring the bank or whatever, I can actually do it rather than worrying about it and knowing I should do it. I sort of wish I had had the tablets a year ago.

NewName123 Wed 18-Dec-13 08:11:16

That's great Battery I am so pleased for you. No I think that sounds about right. I started feeling better at about that point and at first you think you may be imagining it because it kind of creeps up on you. I am sure you will continue to feel better over the next few weeks too.

I am ok. Think I have kind of plateaued now. Feel OK. Quite layed back, less anxious and I am finding it easier to talk to people because my social anxiety seems better. On the down side I am sweating a lot at night and sometimes feel a bit tired and brain dead but am gonna continue for the moment.

batterylow Tue 17-Dec-13 21:18:50

Think I am on day nine now, it is probably too early for improvement isn't it? How are you feeling newname?

batterylow Tue 17-Dec-13 21:18:08

Hi, quite good thank you, I am worried it could be a false start but I THINK my stress levels seem better in the day time . At night I am still anxious but its less focused and I think its best to have my good mood in the day then be safely at home when the panic starts. It's a definite improvement at work in particular, I went in today feeling happy enough to be going,not panicking and worrying about all the things I could have done wrong, imagining people don't like me etc.

NewName123 Tue 17-Dec-13 19:57:28

Hi Battery, how are things going now?

batterylow Fri 13-Dec-13 20:04:29

Thanks , fingers crossed x

NewName123 Fri 13-Dec-13 14:52:11

Just keep going ,hopefully this time next week you will be feeling better.

batterylow Fri 13-Dec-13 11:23:00

Sorry to hear you are feeling low, my pmt has got worse the older I get , it now seems to take up almost half the month, I sympathise!

I am definitely more anxious than before but I hope its just the early side effects . There seems to be a pattern in that I am anxious all morning, then tired but reasonably numb, then really really low as the evening approaches but then evenings have always been bad for me. Managed to leave the house for a short while today though which has helped a little and dh is coming home early which also helps despite a lot of this being his fault!!

NewName123 Fri 13-Dec-13 09:28:06

Hi Battery, I think the AD can only help and make you feel stronger to face up to everything.
I feel really low today, think I have pmt sad

batterylow Thu 12-Dec-13 12:43:24

Thank you, I really really hope so. I am worried that the tablets are lifting the fog of depression and will leave me more exposed to the horrible feelings of what has gone on?

It was my dh who had an affair but I retaliated/ lost control a bit in the resulting stress and had two flings. All very complicated and lots to ideal with now. Can't believe I am in this situation, to the outside world we look like any other couple just with a bit more stress.

NewName123 Thu 12-Dec-13 09:22:47

Oh gosh you have a lot to cope with. I thought it was your DH who had the affair, sorry not reading the original post properly.
When I first started fluoxetine I went through a period when my anxiety increase so don't worry it should settle in a couple of days. I remember having to do deep breathing cos I felt all pent up inside.
I am sure you will start to feel better in the next few days, just gotta keep going till then x

batterylow Thu 12-Dec-13 09:12:27

I think more couples sleep separately than talk about it if that makes sense as lots of my friends do it. Dh and I had slept separately for a year but the affair and resulting mess has made us share again, its at his request and I think a lot of it is his paranoia about me e mailing other men tbh! Long story! It does mean less sleep though as he snores and turns over noisily etc etc and that isn't good for our relationship, I think he annoyed me less when we sleep separately so it works both ways!

The oldest has sn and wets in the day too, just about to go through community incontinence team so maybe they will help with it, hadn't heard of hormone spray but that would be good.

I really think sleep is a massive factor in depression/anxiety etc so its worth doing anything to improve chances of getting it. I'm feeling a bit better today but I think the anxiety is worse and obsessive thoughts etc, really really hope they improve as the tablets take effect as I torture myself with horrible thoughts, I think that's probably normal after an affair but its hard to deal with when ill like this.

NewName123 Thu 12-Dec-13 07:28:05

I hope you have a better day today Battery. Have you spoken to the GP about the bed wetting? I thought when they reached age 7 if it was still happening then they could give a hormone spray to help (I might be wrong)
My DS 6 always used to wake up during the night. DH sleeps with him now (he has a double bed) and things are a lot easier. Especially for me as I get the bed to myself. My sleep has improved as well due to not being woken up by a restless partner. Not sure it has been great for my relationship though but it means that I can face the day a bit easier.

batterylow Wed 11-Dec-13 21:42:27

Sorry to hear that, have you tried different ads?my oldest child's sns have put huge strain on us as a couple and the stress of everything has made me react differently ,just constantly on alert and critical of myself, dh etc. very hard.

Yesterday's sickness has not returned thankfully but my mood is lower than it has been in ages! It end to switch off when properly depressed and I am feeling too much right now, its not nice at all.

Oblomov Wed 11-Dec-13 20:52:31

Ds1 has Aspergers. Has made my diabetics awful. I wonder how dh and I have any marriage left.
I found CBT and AD's useless. I don't know where to turn next.
I hope you have more success OP.

batterylow Wed 11-Dec-13 20:32:39

Anything work related sends me into a panic too btw, I seem ok when there as concentrate but at home it seems a massive issue to me.

batterylow Wed 11-Dec-13 20:31:42

I know exactly what you mean, I am the same and really need to get started with Stuff, feel really panicked by Christmas this year, it will be a pretence relationship wise and just feels too much. Maybe the pills will have started to help by then though with any luck.

Yes mine are seven and one and a half, the oldest is usually ok but often wets the bed and the youngest wakes every hour and a half, its really really hard going even with dh doing half. I should get to bed early but the anxiety often makes getting to sleep hard work then every waking starts me off again.

NewName123 Wed 11-Dec-13 20:10:11

yes it might have been the stress. I am just putting everything off at the moment, I have a letter to write, presents to buy etc etc.
I need to swat up on a couple of things for work on Saturday, am dreading it sad
Are your kids still waking at night? I can't remember how old they are?

batterylow Wed 11-Dec-13 14:39:29

Yes I did although no worse than last night, the children between them mean I never get more than a couple of hours at a time, its a contributing factor to all of this I think.

I had a very bad headache after my stressful morning so am wondering if it was in fact a migraine causing such extreme sickness. Fingers crossed anyway.

I am like you with motivation etc but not too relaxed, its a symptom of my depression I think, just can't face even small tasks. No fun at all, my dh is having to do everything house related atm and any phone calls etc. good idea to stick with the prescription for now, I think its a tough decision.

NewName123 Wed 11-Dec-13 14:33:21

I have decided not to increase my dose Battery so no increase in side effects for me.
I just feel a bit like I can't be bothered a lot of the time though. Like I am too relaxed on the medication. Am going with it though Dr has put my meds on repeat so going to stay on then till spring noe and then see how I feel.
My house is dirty and I have some jobs to do but have spent the afternoon doing nothing much.
Maybe yesterday was a one off for you, did you have a bad nghts sleep the night before your public speaking. I think lack of sleep makes everything feel worse?

batterylow Wed 11-Dec-13 14:15:05

Hmm well so far not too bad, have had a nap and am a bit groggy but nowhere near the sickness of yesterday . Maybe biscuits are the answer?!

batterylow Wed 11-Dec-13 11:56:28

Thanks bigarea too.

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