Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Overeating battles

(137 Posts)
IWishYouWould Wed 06-Nov-13 14:09:01

Has anyone who uses overeating as a coping mechanism, overcome their issues? I'm trying to find other people who battle with this to start a support chat. I'm currently at my worst and I am gathering the courage to tackle my underlying causes. but where to start?

TheYamiOfYawn Thu 14-Nov-13 18:16:52

I ordered a book last week which was on the BEATb website called Overcoming Binge Eating. It has a self help plan which I am going to start on probably next week once I've had a chance to read it properly. The reading thing has crept up on me. I have PMDD which is very very severe PMS and I used to self-harm when that was bad. I Speed that a long time ago but would bone from time to time. But for some reason things have got quite bad over the past year or so. I think that now I have kids I can't really do the things I used to rely on to keep me sane like having lots of time by myself and going for long walks and getting enough exercise so I feel shit and make myself feel even worse by eating too much. I realised a couple of weeks ago that not only had I put on a lot of Wight but I'd also started eating in secret, hiding food and spending so much money on chocolate that it was seriously affecting my finances so I decided I needed to do something.

Hermione123 Fri 15-Nov-13 09:58:31

Y to that yami, I look at how much i spend on binge food and it's ridiculous, even with it being cheaper than veg. I will look into those books. Kinky Dorito, I read somewhere when I was getting counselling for bulimia that obsessiveness is correlated to that. Can't remember what the solution was though! Nice to have a thread for this, been looking for one for a while on mn, I've also found it's gotten worse now I have dc.

TheYamiOfYawn Fri 15-Nov-13 10:50:22

Yesterday's post was written in the throws of exhaustion while trying to cook dinner and entertain 2 children. I wrote it and it barely makes sense to me. Sorry. blush blush

IWishYouWould Sat 16-Nov-13 20:41:18

Hi to everyone who has joined. brew I read your posts and I can relate to all of you. I have recently had some time without DC's. I had time to look after myself and I started to feel a bit better. I noticed I said no to food at timesgrin . Although a breakfast buffet was still hammered, so I wasn't really in control. But day one of the kids back and the food I have eaten is ridiculoussad.

I often get a bit short if people say 'you can't be hungry now/ still'. It has taken a while to understand that not everyone eats as much as i do or the way i do. Reading that someone else feels hungry when emotional too, really clicked with me. There are times when I am and I will eat for various reasons. I really shouldn't be, but I am and I can't not eat. I very often get the need to eat something, but its like I'm craving something, but i have no idea what. I often keep going until it's satisfied. that can be a lot of crap.

Does anyone find they crave specific textures and 'crunch' as opposed to flavours? This is almost all the time for me. It must have psychological links but I don't have a clue why.

MrsRBrand Sat 16-Nov-13 23:28:35

Hi, I am a recovering conpulsive overeater and for a year now have not binged, I started going to my local Overeaters Anonymous meeting which is just donation only and wirks like alcoholics anonymous to deal with food addiction as a way of numbing feelings that we were not taught to deal with as children. I have had a spiritual awakening as a result of working the 12 steps of the programme and woyld highly reccommend it to anyone struggling with this awful disease. Good luck

IWishYouWould Sun 17-Nov-13 14:20:14

MrsRBrand your progress sounds fantastic. The programme sounds a great idea. I like many others don't do well on diets. Could I ask how you found this group? I'm due to start a support group with BEAT but it's simply for us to get together, rather than any treatment. Your post gives me hope that there is a way past this.smile

Hi, can I join? I have a terrible relationship with food and I'm going through a particularly stressful time at the moment. I've put on a stone and a half since September but I just cannot stop myself from eating. I feel disgusted with myself after and promise myself that tomorrow will be different but, as we all know, tomorrow never comes. I'm trying to find a way to get over this before I do my body more damage (on a health and aesthetic level!) which I know will just make the binging worse.

Watching this thread with interest smile

IWishYouWould Wed 20-Nov-13 09:50:35

Hi Still, it's always great to have more people join us.
The long term concerns you have are probably a strong worry we all share. It's a great one for me.

I was so out of control when I started this thread It was a bit scary. So I'm trying a new approach. A 'Happy Mission' if you like. Eating is my coping mechanism to make me happy, but ultimately it does the most damage. So I am filling my week with things that make me happy (where possible). Swimming, walking, music, seeing friends, shopping for the house to make it more homely. These I will do when I feel up to it. They are my focus and I make sure I think of them every day. I've also booked an hours tuition a fortnight for a hobby. I'm a bit scared of that one, but I need to try. Making sure that's the only fixed activity will reduce my stress and therefore minimise my need to binge. With regards to food I'm loosely following the WW pro points, to keep my portions in check. when I find myself thinking of food I keep my mind busy with something else.
So this is day 3, so far no overeating or binges. One day at a time. I also finish my AP's thurs, so hopefully not being in a fog will help me move more. My biggest change is no weigh in. I know what I weighed roughly, so calculated my points from that. Getting on the scales always makes me feel huge and a failure and starts the cycle again. Clothes will be my new guide, especially since non of mine fit nowsad

Does anyone fancy trying it out with me?

Hermione123 Wed 20-Nov-13 11:46:14

Definitely agree with the happiness mission and not getting on the scales, it always triggers a binge even if I've lost weight. Hi Still, I understand how you feel, I do think sometimes it becomes a punishment, I'm so useless that's why I then eat more cake etc, I try not to tell myself negative things, and get utility from getting out, breaking the routine. Do you all have routine binges? My weakest points are the start of the day (hate putting clothes on) and the end of the day (didn't do well enough).

IWishYouWould Wed 20-Nov-13 17:55:48

Hermione, my routine binges are evenings. Unless its holiday's, then it can be around every meal. Christmas is always a massive eating fest.

Does anyone else want to share the things that make them happy?x

k0keshi Wed 20-Nov-13 18:17:32

Overeaters Anonymous website

There are meetings all over the country. From how many of you describe your relationship with food, it's definitely worth a look.

Don't be put off by terminology. It's not a religious programme as many people wrongly assume. It seems to work for a fair number of people & is now an international fellowship.

TheRaniOfYawn Wed 20-Nov-13 18:52:45

So I'm 4 days in to my binge eating programme and it's going well so far. At the moment in the first stage I'm just recording everything I eat, when and where I eat it, whether it's a binge and how I feel at the time. Once I've recorded accurately and consistently for I week I get to move to the next stage, which is to keep recording but to keep to 3 meals and 3 snacks a day to eaten in a proper eating place while doing nothing apart from eating.

I'm finding it surprisingly helpful, and although I'm not trying to eat less yet, I am eating less already but more importantly I'm losing a lot of the guilt and shame and secrecy and general crap around food.

So I've decided not to try to lose weight at all for the time being, just to develop healthy eating habits. I'm overwrought but not hugely (BMI of around 27) so the healthiest thing for me to do at the moment is to get my head straight and do more exercise and feel more positive about myself.

I'm feeling really good actually.

IWishYouWould Wed 20-Nov-13 22:34:59

Rani, that sounds really positive. It's a great step you have taken. please keep us posted on your progress.

ishouldcocoa Thu 21-Nov-13 16:19:42

I am reading a good book that I got from Amazon.

Book

It talks about a lot of issues to do with over eating and bingeing. It talks about our lack of self esteem amongst other points. It also rubbishes 'diets' as 90% of people put the weight - and more - back on.

It rings a lot of bells with me, but as I'm only half way through it, I can't tell you how much weight I've lost!

iwish my trigger points are evenings. Its ridiculous what I can consume due to boredom/loneliness sad I'm really trying to focus on being happier. I think I am a little depressed too so this doesn't help. I'm trying to get back into exercise. I used to enjoy it and it made me feel good but I often feel too knackered. Vicious circle!

ishould I have ordered that book. Nothing to lose I guess (except maybe 20lbs!).

IWishYouWould Sun 24-Nov-13 13:55:35

Still, it would be great to hear your progress with the book too. I think I may hop over to amazon and look it up. Like you say nothing to lose except weight.
In the summer I was exercising for about 3 months and my fitness improved. I stupidly took a week off for hols and just couldn't get back into it. now outside is the last place I want to be with the cold. What sort of exercise do you like to do?

IWishYouWould Sun 24-Nov-13 14:11:37

I was thinking perhaps we could look positive things about ourselves. What we are good at, our skills and perhaps something that makes us smile. I did already write this post, and lost it. I actually discovered I don't really know many good points about myselfblush . This is what I can come up with.....

My skills - Admin and organisation at work. (just dont look in my bedroom, it doesn't match that profile at allconfused )

What I'm good at - Writing, I find it easy to send emotional letters and messages. maybe a mum, my kids aren't little shits so thats a bonus. lol.

My random - I'm still a big kid, so can often make a joke out of something. Helps my friends a lot when they are low and to hide my own emotions. When I drink, there is nothing but childish about megrin .

what are yours?

Hermione123 Sun 24-Nov-13 17:14:59

I loved doing the shred, really helped but I keep stopping and then takes months to re-start. Positives, hmmm I can b really focused, supportive to people I care about, my dd has fun with me!

I was enjoying doing the shred and also shred it with weights. But I stopped while I went away at the end of august and never got back into it sad That combined with the stress of starting a full time college course and being a single mum sparked my most recent bout of overeating and spelled disaster! I have done a kettlebell workout today (third this week) but I ruined it by grazing all day whilst writing an essay GRRRRR angry On the plus side, Amazon have despatched my book smile Oh and I've enquired about joining a women's only running club.

Struggling to think of good things about me today. I need to work on this!

rainbowfeet Sun 24-Nov-13 21:12:48

This is my battle too... Has been for as long as I can remember... Very interested in a support group.. Am working so hard on my issues & triggers & fighting the compulsion to binge... confused

Hi All. My book came today. I'm three chapters in and already I'm starting to feel more positive. I really hope I can change my relationship with food.

IWishYouWould Thu 28-Nov-13 22:31:03

Another positive post for the book. It sounds better all the time. Still It's great news that you are feeling a change already. I hope this is the start of a happier time for you.

harrap Sun 01-Dec-13 15:20:04

Can I join?-I've been size 8 through obsessive exercise and being very careful with food and I'm now size 18.

I know exactly what I should and should not eat but just can't stop-unless I'm in exactly the right frame of mind- one which doesn't come round very often.

If I think about not over eating I start to feel anxious because I know I'm setting my self up to fail and I can't stand trying to be "moderate".

Being tired is a big trigger for me. If I'm tired my body craves carbs and so becoming a mother of a poor sleeper certainly hasn't helped but I wasn't (especially) tired yesterday and yet there I was buying mince pies and eating them-why is it so difficult to resist?

There is also something about being very busy with work and home that leaves me with little time for myself to just do nothing. That constant slightly pressurised feeling results in low level self destructive behaviour like staying up too late, spending too much and over eating-I'm getting on top of the spending but the late nights, tiredness and over eating is so difficult for me. I want to rebel against restrictions by watching rubbish on TV while eating a packet of biscuits.

My mother has always had a problematic relationship with food-either cottage cheese and a Ryvita or a groaning, over flowing plate and I know she is appalled at my size now and often suggests we go on a diet competition-just the kind of offer to send me out to the sweet shop!

Anyhow thanks for giving me a space to write down my feelings.

IWishYouWould Sun 01-Dec-13 21:07:18

harrap, I'm glad you felt able to put your feelngs into words. it isn't the easiest task to undertake.
Your mums idea sounds very stress inducing. so I can see how it would make you reach out for comfort, which all of us here get through food. yoir situation is very familiar to me as I'm sure it will be to many of ussad . The ine thing that springs to mind reading your post is you may have been a size 8 before and an 18 now. But your happiness and a smile to others, are far more beautiful than these numbers will ever be.
I've been a bit quiet on here lately as I'm struggling again. I will put mine into a separate post. Just glad we have another person who can feel like they have a support available. thanks

IWishYouWould Sun 01-Dec-13 21:25:40

I started this thread only a month ago. Already a lot of people have come forward to look for support. So I just wanted to say hi to everyone who has taken this step. We are quite clearly not alone in this struggle;

TheRaniofYawn
MrsRBrand
Kokeshi
CrochetKate
Issynoho
Viviennemary
MargeryAllingham
Geckos48
Crawling
HugandRoll
KinkyDorito
ishouldcocoa
Hermione123
rainbowfeet
StillGettingItWrong
Harrap

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now