Hello.
In the summer I started a thread on here. Here's the link if anyone wants a lil background stuff: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/1753005-Contemplating-suicide
I'm 16 and soon to be 17. My dad died at the start of the year and when I was 6, my mum left me and my dad cause she was a drug addict. She overcame her addiction and came back into my life when I was 14. I moved in with her when my dad died of a heart attack. I've been depressed ever since my dad died and I've done different types of therapy and different ADs and nothing really has worked.
In the title I say I'm a bad son cause I am. Excuse my language but I'm a real dick these days. All I do is play videogames, smoke pot, and be nasty towards my mum. The other day I heard her crying in her room cause of an argument we had. She found a couple of weed joints in the pocket of my jeans (I honestly don't know why weed is illegal when cigarettes and alcohol are legal - the latter two kill so many people annually whereas weed doesn't). I like it cause it makes me feel calm and happy. I become so angry at the stupidest things when I'm sober. Like right now I'm watching footie and I'm so pissed off cause those Tottenham bastards are winning. Seriously, how pathetic is that? And it's not even like Tottenham are pasting my team. They're mauling a team I couldn't care less about. I just don't like them and I'm angry cause of that. Something that has no direct effect on me but yet I'm angry. I feel like this all the time. That's why I like smoking pot cause it makes me feel the exact opposite. It makes everything seem okay. I know it's just an illusion the drug creates but it's way more effective than ADs or therapy.
I'm a bum to be honest, cause I ain't doin anything that's productive. I graduated from secondary school in the summer and the people I went to school with are either at sixth form or working or at least doing something with their lives while all I do is sit on my arse. I feel like I'm a bad son not only for my mum but my dad. He ain't here now but I know he'd be disappointed in me if he were.
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Mental health
i'm a bad son
25 replies
BengalTiger · 20/10/2013 17:53
OP posts:
GladToBeSilver ·
21/10/2013 21:03
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