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Anxiety has got worse!! Please help!

(45 Posts)
CraziMummie Tue 01-Oct-13 19:54:08

Have name changed for this...

In short, was put on prozac 2months ago for PND (now 7months pp) well more specifically extreme anxiety/irrational thoughts. (Convinced ppl will shoot me if i stop at traffic lights, wake up in middle of night convinced someone is in my bedroom with a gun and if i move they will kill me, or worse, my baby!) ive been getting through this by telling myself that im being irrational/silly/nothin bad is going to happen.

Last night someone broke into my car that was parked on my drive whilst i was asleep - didnt hear a thing!! Now i am absolutely TERRIFIED that they will come bk or try the house or something and i can no longer reason with myself tht im being daft.

Have been referred to a councellor as GP thinks this will help but soonest appt is like 5wks away!! I CANT FEEL LIKE THIS FOR 5WKS!!! What do i do?? Please tell me some1 has been were i am/that it does get better! Im terrified of bein in my own house in broad daylight!!

Milkhell Wed 02-Oct-13 14:53:23

Does anyone else feels like things are just 'off' and can't quite put their finger on the feeling? That's what's driving my anxiety at the mo :-(

Milkhell Wed 02-Oct-13 14:54:27

Also anyone else think there's a hormonal link to this?

treaclesoda Wed 02-Oct-13 15:07:09

It took about 3 weeks to start feeling the effects of citalopram, but another few weeks to feel the full benefit. Hang in there, this will improve.

CraziMummie Wed 02-Oct-13 15:08:03

Can you request a certain AD?? Ive seen alot of ppl saying citalopram really helped them. Im on fluroxitine

treaclesoda Wed 02-Oct-13 15:11:07

Milkhell, don't know if this is the sort of thing you mean but when I was at my worst I got into a frame of mind where if I wasn't feeling really worried about something (in my case it was mostly illness I was afraid of), I would almost remind myself to worry, if that makes sense. Eg if I had a nice morning with a friend, just chatting, and momentarily forgot to be worried sick, I would find myself scolding myself for being so stupid, and I would think I was going to be 'punished' in some way for forgetting to worry.

cls77 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:18:52

I found Doselupin to be the most helpful for me, it is an eve tablet and has a slightly sleepy affect to it, but as my worst time used to be in the evenings then thats what worked. Citalopram and Prozac are also good (Experience within family!)

cls77 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:20:43

treacle I completely agree! Im definately worse when it cathces me "off guard" Its like my brains saying - hold on there a minute, youre not THAT much better, yet!!

Milkhell Wed 02-Oct-13 15:23:49

Treacle yes I hope so. When I have nothing specific - eg cancer lumps etc - I get down to constantly worrying about how things look like! And if things feel 'off' which obviously makes them feel off. So like if you look at a word too long and hard it starts to look weird - it's a bit like that for me at the moment but it's the whole world that looks and feels funny. Then that feeds into me having done kind of degenerative brain illness. It's awful :-(

Milkhell Wed 02-Oct-13 15:25:01

I just can't grasp that there's nothing wrong. I'm convinced there is and that I won't ever be lucky enough to see my kids grow up.

CharlieBoo Wed 02-Oct-13 15:29:19

I know what you mean milkhell. Because my fear is I'm going insane my mind starts to in visage all sorts of things, scary things which scares the living hell out of me hence the horrendous anxiety. I so want to be better, this had been over 3 weeks now and I'm just so sick of it all. X

Milkhell Wed 02-Oct-13 19:55:45

Wine helps :-/ just a glass but I do find it helps a bit. I know that's not very PC. X

wonkyduck Wed 02-Oct-13 20:37:29

I wanted to offer any help that I could as I suffered with anxiety and PND after my first child and then it came back after my mum died in unusual circumstances.

I went through the whole drug thing and it didn't work for me.. ended up panicking whether new feelings were because of the drugs etc... I read every forum, bought every book about anxiety, saw a councellor.. even tried hypnotherapy. I just wanted so badly to be fixed and get my life back for me and my family, I felt like there was something massively wrong with me and I would never find a way out of the prison.

By fluke I stumbled across the one thing that changed everything, I know it sounds dramatic but I think I'd still be screwed if I hadn't found it. It was a book by a British chap called Paul David 'At last a life'. It's simply his story and battle with anxiety but it just clicked for me.

He basically makes you stop kicking the crap out of yourself about it and over-analysing it all. Most importantly, I realised that there's nothing wrong with me and that I don't need fixing. If your leg was broken you wouldn't keep slamming it in a door so why do we beat ourselves up when we have anxiety? The symptoms of anxiety are essentially the effects of adrenaline and stress hormones on already frayed nerves that need time to heal.

There are no quick fixes, its just understanding what is going on so that you can escape the fear cycle. Its just awful feeling like you're going mad but I'd bet that you're not. Hormones have a lot to answer for and as others have said they can totally unhinge you.

I'm no good at explaining it but I would seriously recommend reading it. I bought it for Kindle but I guess you can get the paperback on Amazon. I kept reading it and reading it until it sunk in. Everytime my mind would try to fool back into thinking that it must be something more, I would just read bits of the book again and go and find something to occupy me like cleaning or going for a run (when I could get a break from the kids).

He has a website too that you might find helpful but I would suggest steering clear of forums on 'anxiety etc' and googling symptoms as it doesn't help - just focuses you more on constantly 'checking in' to see what you're feeling constantly. I remember doing the same and trying to get a label for every symptom. I know that people need support so I'm not saying don't go on them in that regard if you feel you want to - just maybe not to find answers IYSWIM.

All these other 'techniques' and self-help, CBT stuff etc. just stressed me out. I would get anxious about whether I was doing it right. After reading Paul's book I slowly got better day by day with the odd blip but the blips didn't stop me - I just accepted each day as it came.

Since then (it's been a year) I still get a couple of days before my period starts (clearly when my hormones go a bit haywire) where I experience some anxiety symptoms but it just doesn't faze me anymore. I just accept it and know that it will pass... and it always does.

Another tip is running or some other exercise. It naturally boosts your endorphins, a bit like a natural prozac to help you on your way.

Hang on in there and don't let it stop you living. That's a key point. Even if you feel like you're going mad please don't let the symptoms stop you from going for that coffee meet-up or that trip to the cinema with a friend. It might feel bloody terrifying when you're feeling bad but sticking your fingers up to the anxiety feelings is a massive step to recovery.

I honestly would never have believed in my wildest dreams that I could come through it but I'm living proof... I hope this info might help.
x

wonkyduck Wed 02-Oct-13 20:41:22

oops.. a link might help! www.anxietynomore.co.uk/the_book.html

treaclesoda Wed 02-Oct-13 21:16:39

Thanks wonkyduck, I'll look into that. I know I'm posting here to try to offer hope to those who are stuck right in the thick of their symptoms, but I find it is an ongoing battle for me, so I'm always interested in any books that might help.

One that I have found helpful is this one on health anxiety, when I feel myself slide backwards a bit, I often get this one out go back to it.

here

Milkhell Wed 02-Oct-13 21:42:33

Thank you Wonky duck. That's so thoughtful. I have read his book last time around (after DS) and it really helped but my symptoms have morphed somewhat into this weird seizure-esque dissociated feeling. It's definitely worth revisiting. Xx

Milkhell Wed 02-Oct-13 23:06:52

I've ordered the health book :-)

treaclesoda Thu 03-Oct-13 09:02:32

Milkhell, from what you've said, your anxiety symptoms sound a lot like mine. I would be anxious about a lot of things, but health concerns are off the scale. I simply cannot rationalise that its possible to have a lump or bump somewhere without it being cancer. Even though I know that its not just possible but perfectly common to have lumps or bumps without them being sinister, my mind won't allow me to believe it. So then I go through huge avoidance exercises, in the warped belief that if I can't see or feel something, its not really there. My DH is bald and a few years ago, I convinced myself he had a lump on his head (he didn't, it was the shape of his head, and its not a lump at all, its just that his head isn't perfectly symmetricalblush ). For many months, I would only sit on his left side, because I knew I couldn't see it there. If we were in a queue, I insisted he stand in front, so that I couldn't see it. If I saw it, my legs turned to jelly, my heart pounded, I had stars in my eyes and felt faint. And at the same time my mind immediately started to construct this massive story about how I would cope without him, what it would be like to be a widow at 30 years of age etc. It was horrific and yet it just sounds so irrational, so silly, to anyone else who doesn't understand what it's like.

treaclesoda Thu 03-Oct-13 09:04:06

no, I insisted that I stand in front of him so that I couldn't see it. Anyway, you get the picture, it was irrational!

CharlieBoo Thu 03-Oct-13 14:02:13

Wonkyduck... I just wanted to let you know I downloaded At Last A Life by Paul David. I just wanted to thank you for sharing this little gem... Have spent all day reading and it makes so much sense. Just hope I can put it into practise. Xxx

wonkyduck Thu 03-Oct-13 19:14:34

CharlieBoo you won't have to try. It will just happen bit by bit. You just need to forget putting a time limit on when you will get better as it will happen once you accept you don't need 'fixing' as such.

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