Anxiety has got worse!! Please help!

[CraziMummie]

Have name changed for this...

In short, was put on prozac 2months ago for PND (now 7months pp) well more specifically extreme anxiety/irrational thoughts. (Convinced ppl will shoot me if i stop at traffic lights, wake up in middle of night convinced someone is in my bedroom with a gun and if i move they will kill me, or worse, my baby!) ive been getting through this by telling myself that im being irrational/silly/nothin bad is going to happen.

Last night someone broke into my car that was parked on my drive whilst i was asleep - didnt hear a thing!! Now i am absolutely TERRIFIED that they will come bk or try the house or something and i can no longer reason with myself tht im being daft.

Have been referred to a councellor as GP thinks this will help but soonest appt is like 5wks away!! I CANT FEEL LIKE THIS FOR 5WKS!!! What do i do?? Please tell me some1 has been were i am/that it does get better! Im terrified of bein in my own house in broad daylight!!

[treaclesoda]

I suffer from anxiety, but it takes a different form. I'm not sure what to advise, but I wanted to reply. I totally understand the 'I can't wait five weeks feeling like this' feeling, anxiety seems to take over and that five weeks feels like years.

Ok, practical stuff. Are you alone? Do you have a partner? Anyone who understands how you feel?

[CraziMummie]

Thank u for replying!

No im not alone, i live with my partner (n our baby) he knows about the pills n i told him abit bout how i feel but he doesnt really understand so i dont like to bring it up alot.

I know im being silly cuz plenty of ppl have no one to talk to or hav truly horrible things happen n i shud just enjoy being a mum but my thoughts take over n i cant think of anything else!

[treaclesoda]

no, you're not being silly, you're suffering from a real condition, no one would choose to live in constant terror.

In my case, my anxiety was, like yours, a post natal depression/anxiety thing. I became convinced that my DH was dying, that every time he left for work I'd never see him again because he would die at work (er, he works in an office, so hardly dangerous), that I would die and not live to see my child grow, that my child would die. If a plane flew overhead, I'd be on edge thinking it was starting to crash towards my house. Anyone who hasn't suffered from anxiety will read that and think 'pull yourself together, thats daft!' , but when you're stuck in the middle of it, you can't imagine ever not being in a constant state of worry.

But, you can overcome it, you really can. I've been on a low dose of medication for several years now, and in combination with some counselling and self help techniques, I can function fairly normally most of the time. I have setbacks (I'm currently trying to overcome quite a big setback) but all in all, I've come a long way. You can too.

[CraziMummie]

Im sorry to hear u had similar thoughts. Absolutely well done for dealing with them! I admire ur determination.

I currently dont feel like i can do that, i try and motivate myself so as to not let these thoughts win but something always seems to happen to slap me back down. Last nights break in has started a complete spiral, i can feel it, and i dont know how to stop it. Im terrified to go to bed tonight in case something will happen tonight. I just want me and my family to be safe and for me to feel like im keeping them safe

[treaclesoda]

do you live anywhere near a decent library? The health section in my local library has some pretty decent self help books, cognitive behavioural therapy was the technique that I found helpful. Even just reading the books was helpful, because the fact that someone went to the trouble of studying people like me and writing a book to help reassured me that I wasn't alone.

[Milkhell]

I'm in the place you are. Mine is postnatal too. After DS it was heinous, never fully recovered then fell pregnant with DD. I'm six months pp. Mine is a conviction I'm going mad and dying. It's hell on earth. Oh and I hate daylight. And everything feels strange. I feel like I've totally lost it. It's awful.

What helps me is posting on here so that you know you're not the only one. How are you feeling now?

[CraziMummie]

I will have to look where our nearest library is (live in a village) but thats a good idea. Just talking to ppl who relate helps so an entire book dedicated to it sounds great - thank u!

Im soooo tired, i want to go to sleep! I put the landing light on thinkin that wud deter potential burgulars etc but then i thought it might just alert them that we r in the house n put us in danger so now im stressing bout this new dilemma! It never ends! Always something! Its exhausting! How can having a baby do this to us :-(

Thank u for replying to me!!!

[treaclesoda]

I hope you get some sleep. If you, or milkhell, need to chat, you know where to find me!

[Milkhell]

Hormones gone wrong I reckon :-(

It's a living nightmare. I can understand why you're tired xx

Thank you Treacle.

[HoopHopes]

Hi have you tried talking to your health visitor. There may be support groups for people with pnd she can put you in touch with.

5 weeks is in reality fairly quick even though to feels awful. The NHS has worked really hard at increasing access to short term counselling. 7 years ago I had to wait 9 months for an assessment and 9 months more for treatment. I gave up and went private, which is maybe an option for you until you get to top of the list?

Your local children's centre will have support workers, can you request one of those via your HV to help you in coming weeks.

[EmmaJane26]

Hi, I suffered from severe anxiety following the birth of my DS 2 years ago. I went to see the GP quickly and then saw a psyc. My first appt was 2 weeks away and I remember feeling as you describe - a sheer sense of terror as to how I would get to that point. Anyway I am posting because when i saw my psychiatrist for the first time he listened to me and saw how distressed i was then smiled at me and told me he'd seen so many mums in the same place as me and that I'd be better post Xmas (3 months) and he was right. i have read many posts on here and i feel saddened that it seems like some mums have not had the right level of care from their GP. It was the ADs that I was put on which made me better. They started working in a month and now I have been off them for a year and have never been ill since. When I read about mums that don't take them or haven't been given the correct ones for them it always seems that they don't get better and the longer anxiety is left untreated the more difficult it is to stop as the brain must train itself to think that way. Anyway my advice is to go back to your GP and ask them about the new ADs, mine was sertaline, but know that doesn't work for everyone. I am convinced that with the correct treatment it will take your anxiety away as it did for me. Good luck.

[Milkhell]

I've taken note Emma. Thank you. I'm bfing but when I stop I shall be giving them a whirl. X

[cls77]

Hi there, just wanted to say that I also experienced the dreaded pnd anxiety, and it went from anything to do with my baby being hurt through me dropping her or leaving the car seat somewhere, to thinking we would be invaded by aliens thanks to a film that scared me senseless!! It was only a 12 cert too! (its actually still freaky to type that!) My dd is now 11 and yes its been a journey, and certain life events (end of my marriage, family members passing away) can trigger the old anxieties and consequently behaviours off again. BUT it is never as bad as the first time, as half of what you are feeling is pure fear. Fear that you cant control what your own brain is thinking, fear that you are going mad (you arent) and fear of what people will think of you for thinking what you do.
I was given a book by a counsellor to do with managing OCD (this was how my management of anxiety showed itself) and the book begins with dealing with the anxieties to start with. Its still available on amazon, and although I havent looked at it for years, I wont throw it away as to me, that is what helped me the most. It may not be relevant to you but was called the OCD Workbook.
As for now, and the next few hours/days/5 weeks, get as much sleep as your brain and baby will let you, as this makes anxiety worse. Eat sensibly, and above all, take each hour/day as it comes. Yes you have had a fright with the break in but that doesnt mean someone is going to do the same to your house. I imagine if youre anything like me, you check that everything is double locked a few times anyway! Your partner is there at night too? So that should help. Dont put too much pressure on yourself to feel on top of the world, you are a new mother, and it affects us all in different ways. Those of us with anxiety will be the only ones to truly understand others in the same boat (although I wouldnt wish this on anyone!)
Hugs x

[Milkhell]

Thank you cls77. I have hijacked this thread slightly! I'm going to buy the book. X

[CharlieBoo]

How funny that so many of us on this thread fear we are going mad. That is all my anxiety is about. I get so frightened with what my brain might come up with next its hard to function at times. I get images of being carted off to some nut house. My cbt is being pushed through so in hoping to get started on this ASAP. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Hugs to all of you.

[Milkhell]

It's how convinced you are that makes it nightmarish. Logically somewhere I know that I'm functioning and so nothing seriously wrong can be going on.

Yet I'm certain there's something seriously wrong. I'm mad/dying/have a terminal illness.

I'm so sick of it as it's gone on for two and a half years now and it's a nightmare that I can't wake up from. I'm convinced I won't see my children grow up.

No one will 'believe' me that there's something wrong though so I don't know what else I can do. I hope CBT works for you all, it didn't for me.

[treaclesoda]

Milkhell, I totally identify with what you're saying. I suffered this way for over three years after the birth of my first child before seeking help. I just didn't realise it was an actual 'thing'. Then, I got treatment but had to stop when pregnant with my second. But have been back on medication for a couple of years, My GP and midwife care was excellent in my second pregnancy, they really took this seriously.

CBT was helpful for me, but tbh the most helpful thing was medication. Citalopram in my case. It makes the difference between me being a relatively normal functioning person and being a wreck, shaking from head to toe, heart palpitations, shaking hands etc. If I have to take it for the rest of my life, that's what I'll do, because anxiety is a hellish condition.

[Milkhell]

Thanks treacle x x

[JohFlow]

I had severe PND with an anxiety component.

I think you need to increase your support right now too. Can I suggest that you ring a mental health helpline/the Samaritans/The Depression alliance/MIND or other such services? It will tide you over till you are able to touch base with your counsellor. Some are available in the night for any lonely/frightening moments. Most don't ask for your name if you want to remain anonymous.

It may also be worth returning to a G.P to explain the increase in your symptoms. A health visitor may also provide some practical help. If you know where the counselling is originating from - could you call them and suggest that your symptoms are increasing (could bump you up the priority list)

5 weeks is way too long if you are feeling this daily.

Big Hugs

[teawomen]

Hi, I have suffered since becoming pregnant with my now 11 month old. I am currently having cbt and feel much better still not completely an I still feel somthing is going to happen to me. The thoughts always in back if my head even when I'm 'ok'. I just wanted to say thank you because I never really put it down to having a baby. I mean when I was pregnant I was anxious (thought t was normal at the time) then when my lg was 4 month it came back but up until now (reading this post) I never even thought about it being prenatal.

[teawomen]

Postnatal sorry autocorrect x

[CraziMummie]

Thanks for everyones replys!! I will look at that book!

Milkhell feel free to hijack, hopefully the suggestions can help us all.

Xx

[cls77]

Milkhell and Charlieboo and in fact anyone else!
We are not nutters!! x 5 times
We are unique in our uniqueness thats all!

We can all understand and help each other (as opposed to judging )

Good luck and onwards and upwards! x

[CharlieBoo]

Well lets please keep updating this thread and talking on here. I know it helps me loads. Can I just ask Treaclesoda how long it took for the citalopram to kick in? I'm on my 3rd week and still feel terribly anxious... I am getting by but each day is hard. Xx

[Milkhell]

Does anyone else feels like things are just 'off' and can't quite put their finger on the feeling? That's what's driving my anxiety at the mo :-(