Anxiety just not going away... Please help

[CharlieBoo]

Ive been suffering from a relapse in anxiety for the last 2 and a bit weeks. I've never had anxiety like this before. It is really hard to even function at the moment.

I'm on citalopram 20mg, started for a few days on 10mg 2 weeks ago and have built up to 20mg. This has been 2 weeks also with the citalopram and its not getting any better. Do y think the dose isn't right or it not the right drug?

It's also giving me awful insomnia so I'm living with this anxiety 20 hours a day and its crippling, I just want to be back to my old self. I have a review with my dr on Thursday which can't come soon enough. I've been doing the linden method which I thought was good and was helping but it's not.

Please any tips for anxiety, I'm getting desperate.

[LesserSpottedNeckSnake]

Oh, you poor thing I suffer from anxiety, and it is an utter bastard of a problem. It really is crippling, isn't it? Right, as far as the citalopram is concerned, I'd give it another week. My symptoms got worse initially before they got better. I too started on 10mg (although I stayed on that dose for a few months) but am now on 20mg and I feel so much better. You will feel better, too, as soon as the side effects settle down. If they don't, get back to your GP and try another drug. Yes, this bit is rubbish, but it will be worth it I promise. Would you like to say what your anxiety revolves around? You don't have to, but it might help with ideas.

[CharlieBoo]

I suffer from I intrusive thoughts and my intrusive thoughts now are I'm goin mad, I'm loosing my mind and the men in white coats are coming to lock me up...that's it really. I am stressing if I can't loose this anxiety that might happen... It's all part of the anxiety cycle...the thoughts produ e anxiety, the anxiety causes more anxiety and fuels the thoughts. Please tell me in not going mad.

[LesserSpottedNeckSnake]

You're not going mad. You're caught in a cycle, and the right medication will help you break it. I can tell you what I do when I'm having a bad episode if it helps? I read a lot. It doesn't matter what, I just read because I find that if I'm reading I can't obsess. I also walk. I can out walk a panic attack by tiring myself out. Try and keep your brain busy doing something which requires focus, it'll give it less scope to worry at your intrusive thoughts. Take some deep breaths and tell yourself 'I will feel better. I am doing something about this by taking the medication, and that puts me back in control. This is a brain hiccup, not reality.' Have you got RL support?

[CharlieBoo]

Yes I need to keep busy and am trying, today is a particularly bad day! Am dreading the school run.

Yes my husbands amazing and my parents are too, couldn't get through this without them. Wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Do you think the citalopram will kick in soon? Thanks for replying.

[choice38]

Hi CharlieBoo, there are a lot of people who suffer from anxiety. You are not alone. You say that you are suffering a relapse. That means that you have been down and come back up again. You will come back up again. I bet the last time you thought you were going mad as well...but did you? No

No you are not going mad. I remember reading somewhere before that if you are questioning whether you are going mad then you are not. Mad people don't question whether they are mad. They think that their world is normal. I hope this really helps you.
Another thing, meditate. This will relax you.

You will get better. Be patient with yourself and treat yourself well.
Read a book and think about and write down the good things that are happening in your life eg, your family is very supportive. This is very good. It puts you miles ahead.

Please visit headspace.com.

Hugs and kisses

[CharlieBoo]

Thank you choice38. Do you know when I get my kids home from school I am so much better. I love them so much they are my world. My son wasn't that well this morning (just a cold) but I sent him in and have felt guilty all day! My little girl has just started reception and I'm a stay at home mum so its a huge change for me to be 'home al

[CharlieBoo]

Thank you choice38. Do you know when I get my kids home from school I am so much better. I love them so much they are my world. My son wasn't that well this morning (just a cold) but I sent him in and have felt guilty all day! My little girl has just started reception and I'm a stay at home mum so its a huge change for me to be 'home alone'. I think this has sparked my anxiety as well as an intrusive thought that freaked me out! Now I'm in a cycle that I can't get out of, it's as if I'm being tortured. How do I meditate? Xxxx

[choice38]

Please, please visit headspace and register. They do a free 5 day trial where you have a fellow called Andy take you through 10 minutes of meditation. He makes it so easy. You must try and come back to tell me about it.
When you have more time in your hands then you tend to think about things....
You are doing so well...check your thoughts as you start being anxious...negative talk? Anytime you get a negative talk and notice it, replace with a positive one.
What are you anxious about? (you don't need to say)...think about the worst case scenario and how you would deal with it. Write down and rationalise your thoughts...

For two nights in a row at the start of the year, I couldn't sleep. I was upset about something. But..this started a cycle of insomnia and I lost confidence about my ability to sleep!

If I panic about not sleeping at any time (negative talk ie I will not sleep tonight) ...I tell myself that I can just wake up and read a book. I can cope without sleep. I have before and I will if that is the case. And I end up sleeping...:)

Best wishes

[CharlieBoo]

So very little sleep again tonight. I tried the headspace thing... Quite good although I find it hard to relax.

Have just eaten a banana and taken today's tablets. Think I def need an increased dose as they're just not working.

[Helpyourself]

Morning Charlie
It will get better! You've made a great start to today, horribly early as it is. What are you planning? Can you get outside as much as possible? And avoid coffee!

[CharlieBoo]

Got my son home poorly today so I could get in the garden and do some weeding or he has a project that we could do some of if he feels up to it. Had a cup of tea but thats my only one of the day.

[choice38]

It will get better. Read books or articles online about mindfulness. Keep it moving and soon you will be back on your best. Do not be too hard on yourself. The drugs take time to take effect and at times things get worse before they get better.

Best wishes

[CharlieBoo]

Ok so far day not too bad... Tummy still in knots but got on with things. I'm back on the linden method so theoretically I shouldn't be writing here but I think a little diary to show my progress and write my feelings may help. Back to drs in the morning for a medication review and to chase up cbt. I'm hoping she may increase my dose but have a feeling she may say to stick with the 20mg a bit longer. Been doing breathing exercises today from the linden method and they really help. Just about to take the kids to the park on their scooters... Ds could do with some fresh air. I will get there and I'm going to get better. I just wish I could sleep.

[Helpyourself]

It sounds like you've prepared well for a good night's sleep- some fresh air, company, a plan for tomorrow. Keep going, avoid alcohol and caffeine tonight, and if you do wake up resist the urge to switch a light on or Mumsnet. Rest your eyes!

[CharlieBoo]

So slightly better nights sleep, probably about 5 hours altogether, so not bad! Have woken feeling anxious like I always do. Have come downstairs and had my tablets and a drink. Doing my deep breathing now. This will go away and I'll be back to my old self soon.

[Helpyourself]

It will go away! What's the plan for today?

[CharlieBoo]

Done loads of cleaning this morning and now sat in the drs waiting for my appointment. Then more cleaning before I get the kids from school. Then popping over to my parents after school. They have a huge garden and the kids love it there.

Not so anxious today.. Almost scared to put that though... Maybe meds are finally kicking in??

[Helpyourself]

Charlie it might be the meds, you also sound very positive and proactive- in control, so that's helping too. How are your parents about your anxiety? I hope they're supportive.
How did it go at the drs?

[CharlieBoo]

Hi, I've had a good day today, went to the drs, then went into town for a coffee with my dad and had a pastie from Greggs! Omg it was amazing, I've been off food so much but have felt that much better today that I wanted to eat.

Dr was lovely as always but won't up my dose as she says its early days and can take up to 6 weeks to properly feel the effects. So I'm on 20mg for now and if I still feel anxious in a few weeks she will up it. Fair enough.

My parents are amazing, they are so supportive, been cooking meals, doing the kids their tea after school, and my mums not been well this year with cancer so they are just more an amazing. How my husband puts up with me I'll never know!

Just going to run the Hoover round Nd then get the kids, thanks for listening, it really helps. I hope this is me turning a corner.

[CharlieBoo]

So good amount of sleep last night, about 5-6 hours in all. Ill take that at the moment. Not quite as panicky

[CharlieBoo]

So good amount of sleep last night, about 5-6 hours in all. Ill take that at the moment. Not quite as panicky this morning on waking which is great.

Went to a coffee morning at school this morning, felt a bit anxious there and that threw me, I'm such a social outgoing person normally. Came home had a cry but up and at em! Just put the Hoover round.

Good news that I don't have the horrendous panic in my tummy so much, only if I really panic is it there.

[Helpyourself]

Charlie that all sounds really positive- and you sound positive too which is more important.
I wonder how many of the other parents at the coffee morning were feeling anxious too? Bet you weren't the only one, the trouble is we only see other people's outside and just how we feel with how they look!
So glad your parents are supportive, they sound lovely.

[Helpyourself]

Sorry that just should be judge. We compare others' outsides to our insides and feel bad.

[peachypips]

Hi,
I have severe, debilitating anxiety and it is hell. However, on meds I am happy and normal. I take Sertraline and Mirtazapine. When I start on them I always feel ten times worse before I get gradually better. ADs also give me insomnia. I find it very hard to get off to sleep, but when I am not taking the drugs I go off instantly!
However, the benefits of the drugs for me outweigh the side effects and I will now be on them for life. Your doc was so right not to increase yet- the lower the dose the better if it is working. Side effects are worse at higher does so you need to be on the lowest effective level.
So glad you are picking up.

[CharlieBoo]

Ok felt freaked put this arvo... More intrusive images trying to freak me out and am now really anxious again. Got a play date this arvo not sure how I'm going to get through it!