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ocd trigger

(66 Posts)
iloveny001 Sun 22-Sep-13 22:04:46

I gave ocd, have been off work twice for a period of 6 months each. Have now been back at work in health care setting for several years but is difficult as my odd relates to germs and the thought of making others I'll by things I carry. I currently have a system in my bed sit of clean and dirty areas, but if something clean feels dirty am compulsed to wash it or throw it away.
I currently have mice and am freaking out that they have been on dirty areas, like my floor, and then onto clean areas like my bed. Am also worried they have 'contaminated' my work bag. Can't stop these thoughts and definitely don't want to go off sick with an odd melt down again. I feel like I want to throw away every single possession and item of clothing just in case. I am treating the mice problem with traps, and will call my landlord in the morning but even after they've gone will still be worried as to where they have been. Feel so stupid that this is bothering me.

wibblyjelly Sun 10-Nov-13 10:52:27

Very proud here as well. How did your first day at work go with coming home, etc. Know you had a plan to help deal withthe ocd, so wondered how it went?

iloveny001 Sun 10-Nov-13 09:55:12

Its too quiet here, not that I'm really complaining. Have been doing stuff on ocd since I moved in. A bottle if shower gel has lasted more than one wash, and I've washed socks for the first time in 8 years, before would wear once and the bin them! Am feeling proud.

AgentZigzag Thu 07-Nov-13 17:34:53

Hehe, didn't she save you any wibbly?! Oooh, shame on you ilove grin

cake here y'are.

Glad it's going well, not having to listen out for the little clogs going up and down the stairs must be a relief.

wibblyjelly Wed 06-Nov-13 11:40:34

Very proud of I love She has even started baking, something she would never have done in her old place. I am annoyed she did it on a day I wasn't there though grin

iloveny001 Wed 30-Oct-13 22:23:28

Perfect update timing! I'm moving Friday, planning to spend tomorrow night at a mates place. Other residents here have mentioned they think the landlord is breaking into their rooms so don't feel comfortable here at all.' In typical style, the pest man checked traps yesterday, said there was no activity so mice have moved on, but I heard them again last night, but to be honest I don't care anymore!

AgentZigzag Wed 30-Oct-13 00:44:40

Don't know if you're still around ilove, how did the move go?

wibblyjelly Tue 08-Oct-13 20:44:21

What was brilliant today was I asked if myself and one year old ds could come round and see the new flat, as long as it wouldn't stress I love out too much.
Her response? 'Yes, I want you and loads of people to be in the new flat, so it doesn't go the way of my other flat'. (as she has previously mentioned, none of us family has been in I loves current flat for a very long time)
Proud doesn't even start to explain how I feel grin

iloveny001 Tue 08-Oct-13 18:17:43

I signed today for a beautiful one bed flat. Closer to friends, which will help, more space and own kitchen and bathroom. Slightly stressed about packing but plan to spend days off dropping things with friends in new town so I can do things to alleviate ocd this end without being stressed by time limits. Am quite excited! Ocd still knocking me in a 'what if it ciomes back way' but will be positive and hopefully change my ways.
Also have an appointment with CBT therapist through work in a few weeks.

AgentZigzag Mon 07-Oct-13 19:56:14

How did your flat hunting go?

Glad the anxiety's down to more manageable levels smile

wibblyjelly Sat 05-Oct-13 11:07:53

So relieved you are feeling better, see you tomorrow grin

iloveny001 Sat 05-Oct-13 10:57:57

Just want to say thanks again for all your support, am feeling much better, anxious levels down. That was a massive wobbler last week!

iloveny001 Fri 04-Oct-13 07:46:46

Looking for flats today and tomorrow. Feeling positive and excited.

wibblyjelly Fri 04-Oct-13 06:45:50

Are you still house hunting today? Great news about pest control grin

iloveny001 Thu 03-Oct-13 22:40:17

Pest control man coming in the morning!

AgentZigzag Tue 01-Oct-13 20:57:03

I got the peppermint thing from here and love the illustrations. The little mice with their suitcases packed when the barn owls move in, one looking back to give them the evils grin grin

iloveny001 Tue 01-Oct-13 20:32:33

And I have picked up the laundry! I would go into my ocd concern about it but am trying not to see reassurance!

iloveny001 Tue 01-Oct-13 20:31:31

Agent, I'm willing to try anything!

AgentZigzag Tue 01-Oct-13 20:22:10

As 'industrial' washing machines at the launderette, and serviced more regularly than at home, they probably to a 'better' job? wink

Mice don't like peppermint oil apparently, oh, and snake poo hahahaha, guess that wouldn't go down well or be very easy to find grin

iloveny001 Tue 01-Oct-13 18:01:37

Have just seen another mouse. Hadn't for a few days. Pest control should be coming but its hard to fit in with work. Having freak out again. Sooner I move the better. Just need to find somewhere. Am going to move to an area close to all my friends.
Don't want to pick up laundry but have to, though odd telling me to rewash it all again as it was done at launderette how do I know it was done right?

AgentZigzag Tue 01-Oct-13 00:55:20

Definitely don't feel a failure ilove! Cleaning up is tough whether you've got OCD or not smile

Are they going to sort out the mouse situation for you?

working9while5 Mon 30-Sep-13 18:57:06

I only want to be medfree til babe is born so hoping. I am lucky that I have never been suicidal since my mid-teens and only had fleeting suicidal Iintrusive thoughts last pregnancy. I am lucky in that by end of this pg I will have had 30 sessions of CBT on NHS in one episode of care with someone actually GOOD hich is about double the usual. That, mindfulness and yoga keeping me ticking over. Though today was tough. Sat in train station til 11am avoiding work and had to work til now to make up. This is not healthy. I find I have become very adept at handling anxiety but if my mood is low and I get that self hatred thing going on the behaviour still kicks in. I have kicked most compulsions but avoidance remains a problem... big style.

iloveny001 Mon 30-Sep-13 18:50:51

Edith I know how you feel. My laundry was a huge pile, and the pile went into my room and up the side of cupboard. Can only tell you my sense of achievement once I'd tackled it.
Flat inspection went well but ocd is a bugger, I've decided to move but normal worries like cost, travel, will the problems follow me are rearing their head. Normal things to worry about but all so much worse with ocd. I hate it. It is also a bugger as although I'm proud of what I've done this week it still makes me feel a failure. It is exhausting. Need a brain transplant!

Edithmark Mon 30-Sep-13 11:47:20

Hello working, no I never explained it at work, there would have been zero understanding. Most people have no idea...just think that OCD means you have your house super clean. (I wish, ha ha, if that we're the case I'd welcome it with open arms!!)

I have tried being off meds but it then takes all my available brain power to stay symptom free and anything slight thing will set me off. Better to stay on meds I think. I did CBT and it did help but you have to be quite well to have the energy to use the techniques properly.

I have it on my to do list to clear out a drawer of bites and pieces is week but even the thought of it makes me panicky. The shall I throw this away or keep it? Where shall I put it? maybe I need a folder for this? Then feeling useless that I can t do a simple task etc etc

peachypips Mon 30-Sep-13 11:37:20

Hope you are ok Working . I tried to go med free in June and ended up suicidal again. sad
I have just accepted I am on meds for life, and I am trying to live with them and accept them. They are better than the alternative for me!

working9while5 Mon 30-Sep-13 10:45:57

I am actually (touch wood - joke!!) pretty much intrusive thought free right now even having come off meds for pregnancy. But I am avoiding stuff again.

I just want to get through next six months med free without falling apart. Today am not so sure I can.

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