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Feeling in a deep dark rut

(1 Post)
feelinglowabroad Wed 18-Sep-13 11:51:15

I've NC for this

I live overseas in a large expat community, and have done for many years (10+)

I have always been happy with it

I always come back to the UK for the Summer, and always feel at bit down for a few days until I shake the jet lag and the kids get back to school and I get back into things. I've been back three weeks now and I just can't shake this really low feeling.
I don't want to go out, and actively seek reasons to stay home - I used to be really involved with the school, and just can't be bothered to go.
Most people at our school are on 2-3 year contracts and I lost a lot of friends at the end of last academic year, and losing two more at Christmas. I really don't want to get myself to Newcomers coffee mornings etc to make new acquaintances.

All the difficulties about living in this country, which used to be funny annoyances are now making me so angry and p***ed off, I just can't deal with it - eg my phone line got cut off, 10 days before the bill arrived- ludricous and laughable, but I just can't deal with it anymore.
I burst into tears at the shops today because the ink for my brand new bought here printer is not available. Staff don't give a shit that they have taken my money for an unusable printer.

My next door neighbour is a w*** and I am intimidated pulling out of the driveway.

My landlord is a t*** who told my dh I am a bad wife because I do volunteer work rather than look after him (DH not the landlord). We've lived in this house 7 years and it desparately needs painting, but he will only do it for a new tenant (not us) - his words exactly.

I've had fraudulent use on my debit card and am 3K down and fighting with that, ( i know that can happen anywhere) but I am sick of the general corruption and don't give a shit attitude.

Dh works away a lot.
He knows I am down and want to go home. He said we could go in three years time (dd in Y11- he said let her do GCSEs and A-levels here- and I agree, it is far far superior schooling to what we would have in the UK- failing comp), but he is now talking about another expat move rather than home

I just feel like I am in a hole I can't climb out of. None of the above are things I would not be able to deal with a year or so ago, but feel I have turned a corner and just want a major change. I want to go home, or go back to work or something. I would have to retrain for something though, and there are no training courses open to me

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