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Anniversary of birth trauma - anyone else find birthdays really hard?

(8 Posts)
bacon Mon 07-Oct-13 11:22:57

I too had the concern prev to DS2 1st birthday but I concentrated on his day and his happiness and tried my best not to dwell on his birth plus being lucky that he was born perfectly healthy. It takes effort perhaps use your energy in making a decorated cake, decorate the house and plan a party in this way you can deviate your negative thoughts into something positive.

I do think its important to dwell on their birthday celebration not on the 'birth' and even after 2 upsetting and disappointing births (I suffered alone after DS2 extremely bad) its up to you not to show any negative emotion to your child as its not their fault and be blessed that your child is perfectly healthy.

It stays with me all the time too and the disappointment and anger is always there but there is nothing I can do to change this I have to accept it and move on. You must find a new hobby or interest to help deviate negative thoughts and I do also suffer my anxiety and mild depression so it is a battle.

Hope this helps.

I felt the same around my DS's 2nd birthday. I had an awful delivery and was diagnosed with ptsd as a result, and found my symptoms got a lot worse around his birthday.

I did find that writing it down helped. Also, having a debrief from the hospital made me understand it better.

Can I ask what "energy therapy" is? It sounds really interesting and possibly something I would be interested in.

pudseypie Tue 17-Sep-13 22:14:36

In a way I'm pleased to read your post because I have exactly the same. I'm currently having counselling for PTSD related to my ds traumatic birth and illness and found his first birthday horrendous as it brought back memories I tried to bury. Didn't enjoy any of it and just snapped at everyone and felt teary. It's his second birthday in 8 weeks and dreading it. You are not alone. Hope the counselling is working for you.

nowtygaffer Tue 17-Sep-13 09:36:20

Just remembered something that helped me. I had some counselling from my health visitor but still didn't feel I could move on. I then read a request from an organisation, think it was the Birth Trauma Foundation or something like that. They were asking people to write in with details of their births.
I think writing it all down and then posting it off was very therapeutic. Just an idea anyway!

70percent Tue 17-Sep-13 08:36:38

Thanks for the replies. I'd rather not talk about the birth - I'm dealing with the trauma in the therapy sessions. But good to know I'm not al

nowtygaffer Mon 16-Sep-13 23:18:12

I used to feel like this over my dd's birthday. She's now 13 and I hardly give it a thought. I went on to have 2 more children whose births were not as traumatic so obviously that helps!
I don't think it's that common to feel like this but you're not the only one. Hope this helps you a little.

Floggingmolly Mon 16-Sep-13 23:13:41

Do you want to talk about the birth? What happened?

70percent Mon 16-Sep-13 23:12:06

I've never posted on here. I've been seeing a therapist for a year for birth trauma. We do 'energy therapy' and it's been very helpful and I was feeling much less 'stuck' (part of me was still in the delivery room). My DS is 3 this week. I'm still finding it incredibly hard to be celebratory for him and am finding the memories very hard. It would just help to see if it's common to feel like this and I need a way to get beyond it each year, particularly as birthdays become more important to him.

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