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I just did something (triggering)

(342 Posts)
Messupmum Fri 09-Aug-13 19:40:06

I don't know if I need help or not. I tied a ligature around my neck so tight - I did it twice. The second I struggled to undo it.

I'm kind of scared, but I felt a sense of calm too. Don't really think I'm having normal thoughts. I don't know what to do.

Chippychop Fri 09-Aug-13 23:43:59

Don't think about it just call someone

Caster8 Fri 09-Aug-13 23:44:16

You are not letting people down. You are just not feeling quite right, right now.
Is it all right if I pray for you and your family?

goodasitgets Fri 09-Aug-13 23:47:56

I am at work tonight. If you don't want to ring an ambulance yourself please PM me and I can get one to you

thornrose Fri 09-Aug-13 23:54:54

Are you on your own now? How are you feeling?

HoopersGinger Fri 09-Aug-13 23:55:48

Posting here is your best idea all night. . We are all here to listen and not to judge. Take a deep breath and look at the clouds again. We're all breathing the same air as you and we're all here.

sittinginthesun Fri 09-Aug-13 23:57:58

Keep talking on here, we're all listening.

HoopersGinger Sat 10-Aug-13 00:01:05

And don't even think about doing yourself in. Never a good idea if you are a parent. Suicide is contagious. It passes through generations because of the grief it spawns. Whatever you might think about your self worth right now you should concentrate on not handing down that legacy to your children.

Messupmum Sat 10-Aug-13 00:02:45

Im just walking, I don't know where, i'm tired but can't sleep. It's so quiet.

thornrose Sat 10-Aug-13 00:03:08

Do you want to tell us a bit about yourself? Or your lovely children, how old are they?

Messupmum Sat 10-Aug-13 00:09:27

I've name changed so don't want to give too much away. Just sat by the woods, it's so peaceful. I wish I could just stay here forever, not having to fight this anymore.

thornrose Sat 10-Aug-13 00:11:24

Oh sorry, I didn't think of that.

shufflehopstep Sat 10-Aug-13 00:26:25

Please don't do this. You are the most important person in your children's lives. They love you and need you. Whatever happens, you will always be their heroine. Please stick around to watch them grow into beautiful adults.

HoopersGinger Sat 10-Aug-13 00:45:34

Hi, is it a clear night where you are? It's really fresh here. A nice night for a walk. I am just off out with the dog.

HoopersGinger Sat 10-Aug-13 00:58:43

Messupmun are you still out? What happened earlier today? Now you're here get it off your mind if you want.

Twirlygig Sat 10-Aug-13 00:59:07

OP you are brave. And you are loved. Do you think you could give the Samaritans a call? They're on 08457 90 90 90. Sending you strength xxx

superlambanana Sat 10-Aug-13 01:03:57

Hope you're ok OP. I know a bit of what it's like to feel in that weird, not really thinking straight phase. You just have to acknowledge that you aren't thinking straight, and even if something is telling you to do something drastic, that is your brain not working properly. The right thing is to dial 999. Your children need you.

HoopersGinger Sat 10-Aug-13 01:29:45

Still here when you are. Anyone else still around ?

thornrose Sat 10-Aug-13 01:30:48

I'm still about.

TeaAndSconesTwice Sat 10-Aug-13 01:32:01

Hi op how was your walk? Are you home yet?

HoopersGinger Sat 10-Aug-13 01:44:54

Will check this thread 1st thing. Please say hi OP. It wasn't a bad idea to talk on here. It was a great idea. Shall we all check in tomorrow if OP isn't back tonight?

Messupmum Sat 10-Aug-13 07:33:44

Sorry I must have gone to sleep when I got back, had a restless night, didn't sleep much. I woke up and couldn't remember what was real and what was a dream.

My chest hurts, my leg hurts. Can't remember if I did take too many meds or not. Crisis team are visiting this morning so I know I need to be honest. I know I need help but it feels surreal, like this isn't happening to me.

Messupmum Sat 10-Aug-13 07:36:37

Also thank you all for the support, it helped me to talk here last night.

Caster8 Sat 10-Aug-13 07:40:09

Halleluya. Wonderful.
I have been sat here this morning hoping you would post. I had mixed feelings on whether you would. So glad you have.

As I said before, things can be fixed. They really can.

Glad the crisis team are visiting. And yes, please be honest with them. This may all feel like a long process, but you can get there.

You can talk about some things on here if you want to. Or not. You sound drained.

Toomuch2young Sat 10-Aug-13 07:43:45

Well done for making it though the night, today's a new start and help is coming. Wishing you all the best OP.

HoopersGinger Sat 10-Aug-13 08:29:37

Morning OP, so pleased to hear you're going to be honest so you can get the help you need. Thinking of you.

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