Does anyone else's anxiety/depression 'lift' of an evening?

[Stripedmum]

Mine does in a major way. I feel like I get 'myself' back from about 7pm. It's very odd.

I've been reading about diurnal mood disorder and it's given me hope that my problems are (in part) to an out of whack body regulator. A lot of the time I'm panicked for NO DISCERNABLE REASON and something misfiring - like cortisol for instance would make total sense to me. Especially middle of the night panic attacks.

I do have other problems that aren't directly related to this, but I'm certain it's a factor.

Anyone else?

[Cheeseatmidnight]

This sounds like me - I am going to look it up

[MorrisZapp]

I'm not ill any more but when I was, I was most depressed first thing upon waking, and least depressed in the evenings.

It was so frustrating, feeling okayish at night and thinking 'yay', but waking up the next day feeling shit again.

Are you getting help?

[Fleetwoodbigmac]

Wow, just briefly read up on this, it certainly sounds like me too. Same as you op that there are most definitely other factors to my depression ...this is tonight's reading subject for me anyway!

[Stripedmum]

Well I've had blood tests back - low estrogen. Leads to anxiety, depression, confused thinking, general mental chaos. I do hope that's my problem as I'm at my wit's end...I've never been 'right' since birth of DS and I really did have a hunch it was hormonal. If it's not then I'm fucked!

[NanaNina]

YES this is true for me too. I have been suffering from intermittent depression since a severe episode over 3 years ago. Am fine for about 80% of the time and the remaining 20% are partially bad days (when I get better as the day wears on and usually ok by evening) or bad days with no respite.

Mornings are my very worst time. I was on a psychiatric ward Easter 2010 for 3 months as my depression was so severe, and the nurses said that is the pattern for most patients with depression.

When I was on the ward I noticed that the patients with dementia (it was an Older Persons Ward, as I was 66 and as far as the NHS is concerned you are "older" if over 65!) would be relatively quiet during the day but would become active and difficult in the evening. I mentioned this to one of the nurses and she said "Oh yes we call it sundown, that's the usual pattern with patients with dementia" - oh god the brain is such a bloody complicated organ and no one really understands the things that can go wrong when it malfunctions.

Oh MZ I so know that feeling of being "me" in the evening and then waking in the morning feeling shite.

Striped mum have you seen a GP - are you willing to take ADs as they were a life saver for me.

[Stripedmum]

Nana I'm so sorry you have this. It's fucking hell.

You might tell me to shut up and go away (I hope not as you e always been a fantastic support to me under various guises on MN).

But...have you tried really good diet and exercise? I would have told myself to get lost if I was asked this as thought I'd tried it (was running 5k most nights and my diet was generally 'good'). However I've become aggressive about it and I've literally cut out ALL processed foods and I'm mostly eating fruit, veg, good quality meat and eggs. Rye bread and new potatoes carbs.

I've also started a good multi vit and fish oil.

I'm now doing 20 min running a day.

I know. I know.

I've had pretty dire circumstantial stuff that I thought was causing it but I swear this has helped - and pretty quick too.

CBT is great too so far.

When did yours start? X

[lazymum99]

My son had severe depression for about a month last year, he crashed after a manic episode. I noticed it often lifted in the evening. When I discussed it with him he thought it was to do with th fact that he was so relieved to have got through another day and the knowledge that he could now take to his bed, take a pill and opt out of everything again. The bad morning feeling he said was becaus of the whole day of hopelessness looming ahead.

[SauceForTheGander]

I often feel anxious for absolutely no reason though the anxiety seems to be the cause of a lot of stress - over reactions and moodiness. It does life in the evenings but I assumed that was because the DCs were in bed and I was on mumsnet

I'm going the daily exercise route once term starts. I really want to stop this constant jumpy anxious tummy / frown on face ...

[NanaNina]

Hi stripedmum of course I won't tell you to shut up and go away. I post of the Adoption & Fostering threads and sometimes In the News and occasionally step-parenting, so we might have met on one of those. I mostly post on MH though for obvious reasons. I don't mention this on the other threads.

Yes I know that a good diet and exercise should contribute to healing depression, but I honestly think mine is the sort that needs ADs, well I know that for certain, as I was very suicidal before being admitted to hospital and getting ADs. My diet is not bad at all, I eat loads of fruit (and it's so easy this time of year with all the soft fruits about) and salad and veg. We rarely eat meat (and then only free range chicken) and NO fast food at all. Exercise..........hmm a different story I'm afraid. I am 69 and have been unfit for a long time. I am approx. 2 stone overweight and I never stick at any exercise. I love swimming and joined a club at a nice hotel but was paying £40 per month and hardly going at all.

However I am going to start with a 30 minute walk a day (we have a lovely park at the end of the road and I know it's a mile around the perimeter, so am aiming to do this every day and hopefully build up from there. I have had a crap week depression wise though, with bad mornings that have lifted by early afternoon, except today when it has barely lifted at all. Mind I went to do a Sainsbury's shop and wasn't up to it and got incredibly anxious in there. DP scooped me up when I got in and a couple of diazepam have helped. Almost bed time too, though I usually stop up late, but not tonight.

I had a CPN when I came out of hospital and she talked to me about CBT but admitted she had only done a course so only knew the basics. I could see it was useful when I was feeling ok but when in the depths it didn't help much but I do try to stop myself catastrophising. I am joining a Mindfulness class in Sept which is meant to be very good for depression and anxiety. I am also going to do Tai Chi with a friend on Tuesdays in the local park, so long as I'm ok as I never know until I wake up how I am going to be. I am truly sick of it all, and the way the depression seems to control me. Ah well thousands of people much worse off I know.

When you asked "when did it start" did you mean the depression/anxiety?

Sauceforthegander Anxiety is really fear isn't it - fear of the future (even if there is nothing specific to be afraid of) and then I get afraid of the fear I feel because it's so horrid isn't it. You may well feel easier in the evening because the children are in bed, as you don't have the "full on" thing of caring for children, no matter how much you love them. I speak as a grandmother who has recently cared for my 8 & 4 year old grandchildren for 4 days and they were well behaved but it was just so "full on" andI'd forgotten how many times 4 year olds ask Why??!

[Stripedmum]

Yes I understand that Nana. I totally understand that sometimes ADs are the only thing that can really tackle the problem. I intend to try them should I be floored again as have two under two to look after - and like you say it's pretty full on.

Sauce - yes that's me too! I'm do relieved once kids in bed and glass of wine in hand and MNetting!

Lazy mum - I'm sorry your son is going through this xx

[kizzie]

I think I ready that the stress hormone 'cortisol' is highest in the morning - which increases anxiety and in turn depression. It then slowly decreases through the day.
For me Ive always thought it was a combination of this added to the relief that Id made it through - and done all i needed to for the day - that helped make evenings a bit easier.

[Lottapianos]

I recognise this pattern too. Mornings are definitely worst for me.

'The bad morning feeling he said was becaus of the whole day of hopelessness looming ahead.'

I really relate to this! Especially when it's a work day - sometimes I just think 'how the hell am I supposed to get through this day?' Whereas in the evening, you feel 'well at least that's over with' until you have to start all over again the next day. Evening is also the time it's easiest to have a drink or a fag or loads of chocolate or whatever kind of crutch you use.

Sunday nights and Monday mornings are also bloody awful. I always sleep badly on a Sunday, even when I don't have anything very taxing coming up on Monday. I think it's that sense of 'Christ, here we go again, another whole week coming up!' It's not right, is it?

[Sparklingbrook]

I used to be all 'yay' in the evenings and arrange stuff for the next day. Then wake up in the morning and be all 'noooo I don't want to do that'.

[NanaNina]

Yes I've heard the thing about the stress hormone cortisol being high in the morning, and decreasing through the day. It seems a lot of us are having bad times in the mornings. Oh god sparklingbrook I so know what you mean, about feeling confident about arranging stuff when you feel ok. Actually I have learned not to make arrangement until I know what sort of day I have, as I know as soon as I wake up, although I do mostly improve through the day. BUT when I'm ok "me" (as it were) I can't have any idea of how bad I can feel, until of course I wake up with that flat empty feeling.

One MN etter described depression as : "that deep dark well of pointless nothingness where motivation to do anything has completely evaporated" Certainly this sounds like me when the bad days come.

Ah well I woke feeling crap today but forced myself out this afternoon for a walk and found myself feeling better, though not sure it was to do with walking, but I intend to walk as often as possible, pushing myself a bit further every day as I desperately need exercise.

[Sparklingbrook]

It was actually like being two people Nana. The optimistic evening one and the 'oh hell another day' morning one.

I am on ADs and walk as much as I can and found a middle ground.

[NanaNina]

Yep - I agree - 2 different people. I am extrovert by nature so when my bad days come there is a big gap between the real "me" and the depressed, flat empty person who has overtaken my brain. Can you tell me a bit more about how you found a "middle ground" - do you think walking really does help?

[Sparklingbrook]

I am on Citalopram which obviously helps enormously.

BUT, in the mornings I always go for a walk, and always feel better when I get home. I do about 3 miles, with the radio on and walk v quickly.

[Joanneclarkson2306]

Good to hear people who feel the same as me , the fear in the morning subsides as the day goes on. Just get so frightened this feeling won't pass ??

[susiedaisy]

Yep mornings definitely the worst for me as well and by the evenings I can almost feel like my old self. But the mornings God they can be awful. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

[Somethingtodo]

Key symptom of depression diagnosis is often the abrupt early morning waking - which would fit with it being at its worst in the mornings. I tried to turn this around to think - things can only get better - and put my logical knowledge - that the stress and tension would ease through the day and by 11 am I would not feel as paralyzed as I do at 7am. I am rubbish at exercise and keeping to a gym schedule but one of the best things I have done is get a dog I have to take her out for a 20 minute walk first thing for a pee/poo - and it really is a joyful experience to be outdoors in nature and have random chats with cheery dog walkers -- I do this when my teenagers are getting themselves ready for school - so I am avoiding the morning chaos as well. Someone once told me that A WALK A DAY KEEPS THE MH TEAM AWAY

[nancyv1234]

I am only hoping you are still on here. I just wrote that to a friend At7 p.m. I am released from the most intense anxiety monster that takes over my being from the time I wakeup until 7 p.m.
I can't solve problems. Just feel trapped in a dark wrold. BUt I always know that at 7 I will be released. But then I always hop e it will be better in the morning. And it isn't. HELP

[Sian03]

@nancyv1234 I totally get it, by the evening I feel like the old me, but 1st thing in the mornings is awful, anxiety is the pits!

[madcatladyforever]

Yes mine lifts in the evening too. Probably because I can watch tv, relax, do some sewing or knitting and wind down from the day. Also bedtime is looming.
The very worst time for me is waking up. I usually wake up in the morning feeling full of dread at about 5am.

[nancyv1234]

I cannot trust myself any longer. I am clear I believe in the evening but not in the daytime.
All day I am sick inside so anxious and crazy feeling. Then it lifts
This anxiety ocd I have is from an antibiotic.
It has been a year. I have lost many relationships because of it xanex doesn't even touch it. I tried Buspar but it made me spin. Has anyone used luvox?

[granadagirl]

Hate anxiety/depression it’s the pits.
I’ve had it on/off since the age of about 23 and now 61.
These last 10 yrs have been really hard to shake off, I think menopause doesn’t help either.
At one point I was under secondary mh care, I thought I was literally going mad. So frightening, it had a mind of its own.
I was so so scared even to move of the sofa. Those were the wors I’ve been and it seemed to last forever.
I would say, since menopause I’ve never felt happy,calm, my mood can just change like a drop of a hat. Mood and anxiety have such a massive impact on my life and going out of the house and socially (even family)

Mornings arnt good, generally better post 6pm , partner says I’m a night owl.