Note: Mumsnet has not checked the knowledge, experience or professional qualifications of anyone posting on Mumsnet Talk, so this is not necessarily the best place to seek help if you're feeling seriously distressed or suicidal. Mumsnet cannot be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice and support.

Not Driving Away!

(363 Posts)
Pumble Sat 13-Jul-13 14:21:09

P1 splashing in the paddling pool and P2 having a nap. So pleased to be back and they are so pleased to be with each other again.

Can't believe we got to 1000 posts! You need to change your nn now too don't you wylye ?!

magimedi Tue 22-Apr-14 22:27:08

Hope P1 is better tomorrow. Hopefully raging temp wil have burnt things out.

HOORAY for new pupil - sounds like you are getting a bit of outside life back!

So pleased your camping went well - it's a long time since I slept under canvas (thank the lord!).

rowrowrowtheboat Tue 22-Apr-14 21:26:49

Ah, get well soon P1. Hope your night isn't too tiring. Glad you spent the day with friends. A lazy day of tv/ books/ craft/dolls tea party/just being might be in order tomorrow then.

Camping was a success, in that we are all happy to go again! We managed to put the tent up and down again without falling out, which we were both impressed with (we often have different views on methods remember), and the girls loved it. Sleeping was fine, campsite friendly, and we felt like we had a break. It was very cold at night, but we soon learnt to wrap up.

Pumble Tue 22-Apr-14 21:19:45

We spent the day with friends today which was good but p1 not well hmm. I thought she wasn't right earlier and by tea time she was still not eating and fell asleep on mr p at tea whilst I was out teaching (new pupil though which is good smile). Raging temperature and not at all right-I'm hoping life will be better in the morning. Haven't any plans tomo because of p1 but fingers crossed all will be well.

Have you been camping yet row?

magimedi Tue 22-Apr-14 16:40:15

Good advice from row. A bit of adult company always helps.

And I second the 'keep posting'.

rowrowrowtheboat Mon 21-Apr-14 08:45:57

<kick>

It is not pathetic. The P's will need to adapt to being back at home and being in the normal routine. Mine take a couple of days to get back to the right bedtimes and stuff. So, I plan, if I think a tough day is ahead, I try and get a play date, or get a day out sorted with or without friends. it doesn't have to cost money. For me, days out take away some of the trigger points for moans or whinges.

Can you get a play date set up, or get some craft activities planned, especially for the first day back so that you feel good at the end of the day?

Try not to be fearful and take each moment as it comes.

Keep posting.

Pumble Sun 20-Apr-14 23:32:11

Happy Easter.

Kick up the bottom required please! Off back home tomo night and feeling fearful of it just being the pumblettes and me again whilst mr P at work and the loneliness that brings. I know it's pathetic hence the need for that kick!!

Pumble Sat 19-Apr-14 20:14:52

Waving hello smile

Exhausting week emptying the family holiday home with my parents. The pumblettes had been great but equally exhausted and a little unsettled.

magimedi Mon 14-Apr-14 10:11:15

Just nod politely at in laws & let it wash over you! (easier said than done, I know).

Very important tha you & Mr P get out together more often. Believe it or not, one day the Pumblettes wil leave home (on their world band tour grin ) & it will be just you two together. It is vital to spend time being asults & not just Mummy & Daddy!

Pumble Sun 13-Apr-14 08:21:19

A beautiful sunny morning here-hope it is with you.

Mr P and. I went out for a quick drink last night and realised it was the first time we had gone out just us since P1 was born.... It was lovely and think we should do it more. (Although I was amazed how prices had increased-how sad am I?!!!)

In laws were ok although they told us P2 was definitely still a work in progress with lots of work still to do..... I was not impressed!

Happy Sunday

rowrowrowtheboat Fri 11-Apr-14 21:04:44

So pleased with this positive feeling. Will there be more opportunities to record stuff?

Packing eh? Hope you've got most of it done now.

I'm writing a list f stuff to take camping while DH assembles the roof bars. I have got tent, poles, pegs and sleeping bags so far. Could be a late night.....

Hope the Pumbles enjoy their visitors tomorrow.

Pumble Fri 11-Apr-14 15:51:41

Had a phone call with cbt man today and he seemed genuinely speechless at how different I was feeling due to the recording! So much so that I haven't got any phone calls booked until our next face to dace session at the end if may. I can phone if I need but I actually feel positive at 'going it alone'.

Must dash as supposed to be packing....not packing, house in chaos and been out all day so far....

In laws tomo too-sure that will be a delight....

Happy Friday smile

magimedi Thu 10-Apr-14 22:19:13

I am so pleased you have realised how good the recording was for you!

My DS is nearly 33 - I've been reading that poem for many a year & it took me many readings to really take in the sense of it.

The sunshine here has been wonderful & this spring seems, to me, to be one of the best ever - might just have something to do with what a shite winter it's been grin

Pumble Thu 10-Apr-14 19:15:07

That is a fabulous poem magi - agree with row it needs multiple readings.

I know you're right about me needing to be me as well as the pumblettes mum and I'm so pleased I am beginning to realise it. I think that the recording is the best thing I have done in a long time.

Hope you're enjoying the sunshine. smile

rowrowrowtheboat Thu 10-Apr-14 12:02:22

Sounds fabulous Pumble. Really invigorating for the soul. Really pleased for you and I too hope there are more to come.

The poem is quite thought provoking, I'm going to read it a few more times as each read through reveals a little more (or I'm a little slow today!)

magimedi Wed 09-Apr-14 22:21:34

YAY!! Sounds great.

Never forget that you are a person as well as a mother & it is so important for your DCs to see you as a person as well. I know how much they need you, but having children is a long, slow process of letting them go.

As we have got a bit poetic here I'll quote my favourite poem about having children:

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

I hope that lots more recordings (& curries grin ) come your way, Pumble & that you enjoy life as you, just you, as well as being mother to those lovely Pumblettes!

Pumble Wed 09-Apr-14 19:17:38

It was also amazing to have hot cups of tea, breaks in the day and to go to the loo without toddlers!!! Everyone else said how exhausting it was but I said it was quite a break compared to normal. The composer who has thee children said he could totally see how it was a break!! grin

Pumble Wed 09-Apr-14 19:15:32

Hope you have both had the great sunshine we have had today. Great to be out in the warmth with the pumblettes. Hope all good with you.

Being pumble without the pumblettes I have to confess was fantastic! Don't get me wrong you know how much I love them but it was great to just be me! Three long days but great fun, v rewarding! Some good socialising too with a curry after one session. Really good to be out not discussing children! Pumblette 2 survived without me at bedtime but apparently was clearly missing that feed-she seemed pleased to have it back last night! I am hopeful it will all lead to more stuff-it was just so good and I was on such a high. I'm just so pleased I forced myself to do it! (Plus I think it was good to see what life's like when you have them all day for mr P!).

Loved the coin tossing analogy row-so true smile

magimedi Tue 08-Apr-14 17:38:47

Waves - most exciting, Pumble.

Really hope you are enjoying being yourself & not a Pumblette mum, if you see what I mean!

rowrowrowtheboat Tue 08-Apr-14 16:17:13

Hi!

Pumble Tue 08-Apr-14 16:09:00

Still mid recording but just saying hi! Will fill you in on life tomo smile

rowrowrowtheboat Mon 07-Apr-14 21:07:58

Soooooooo, how was the concert Pumble? how was your weekend?

rowrowrowtheboat Fri 04-Apr-14 22:48:37

Magi, that is the poem the waving reminded me of. I like that it makes you think twice about what you see. It's not always what you think. Like when someone you know almost blanks you in the street and you wonder what you have done to upset them, and then you later learn they just had bad news and couldn't bear to stop and talk, or fantastic news and were completely wrapped up in their thoughts.

I got annoyed recently in a cafe as music came on, louder than normal background music, and it made it harder for me to hear. I was deep in conversation with a friend. My friend later recognised the couple at the next table, and discovered a marriage proposal had just take place, hence the music. I little bit of magic had happened under our noses, and I'm a little disappointed I was unaware of the moment. So much of life we don't see, or see with our own little goggles on.

Thank you for your compliment. Marriage is wondrous thing is it not! For your information, we both think our own recipe is the best, my DD's, using the term dear loosely, have second helpings of DH's. who am I to judge?

magimedi Fri 04-Apr-14 22:25:59

Can't remember my reference to 'waving not drowning@ - but it is a poem I know:

Not Waving but Drowning

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

Stevie Smith

Sorry if that is too much of a downer for anyone. But it's still an amazing poem.

Does DH enjoy your spag bol, Row?

"*We can both be right, it isn't a case of life being on a flip of a coin with one right side and one wrong. My coin is often still falling through the air, DH's is always sitting on the back of his hand, waiting to be uncovered to reveal heads or tails."*

That is one of the best pieces of prose I've read for a long time - it sums up marriage so well.

Enjoy the w/e, all of you, even the battle with dust!

rowrowrowtheboat Fri 04-Apr-14 21:56:16

Magi, I've just looked back, waving, not drowning, is that in reference to a poem?

rowrowrowtheboat Fri 04-Apr-14 21:54:15

PS, I'm going to beautiful Cornwall. May head to the New Forest later in the year.

I could also do with singing tips. The jazz feel sounds like it will be great fun.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now