Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Not Driving Away!

(645 Posts)
Pumble Sat 13-Jul-13 14:21:09

P1 splashing in the paddling pool and P2 having a nap. So pleased to be back and they are so pleased to be with each other again.

Can't believe we got to 1000 posts! You need to change your nn now too don't you wylye ?!

magimedi Thu 22-Aug-13 10:20:19

Hope the scan is OK.

I would go ahead & email the bullet points - can't hurt.

I remember DS saying that at one point he felt that he was taking one step forward & two back with his CBT - but now, some years later, he realises how good it was.

Have a good day - woke up to rain this morning - can't remember that for ages!

LongTailedTit Thu 22-Aug-13 10:59:01

Yep, agree its a good idea to get it all written down, even just doing that will help you process what's going on.

Hope the Hosp appointment goes well, brew and cake all round when you get home eh?

LongTailedTit Thu 22-Aug-13 11:03:02

Yep, agree its a good idea to get it all written down, even just doing that will help you process what's going on.

Hope the Hosp appointment goes well, brew and cake all round when you get home eh?

LongTailedTit Thu 22-Aug-13 11:04:01

Sorry for double post! Site went down!
You can never have too much brew and cake tho... smile

rowrowrowtheboat Thu 22-Aug-13 15:12:31

Hope you have good news for p2.

Definitely write things down, then save as draft and send later once you think you've covered what you want.

Lad to hear the sessions with p2 are going well, and your CBT will make a difference to you, you're jut nt t the end of the process yet.

Enjoy your tea and cake.

Pumble Fri 23-Aug-13 11:44:00

Just accidentally locked p1 in the house... She was a legend and followed my instructions that I shouted through the letter box exactly and so I got some house keys to open the door and get back in! smile Feel like a total muppet though!

LongTailedTit Sun 25-Aug-13 00:48:53

Well done P1! Hope she got a sticker for her efforts!

I'm paranoid about locking DS in, always have to pat my keys in my pocket before I'll open the door - it's easily done.

How're you doing this weekend?

rowrowrowtheboat Mon 26-Aug-13 21:40:59

What a cool headed daughter! Hope you all have had a nice bank holiday.

Pumble Tue 27-Aug-13 20:36:01

I want to hide away hmm. On the plus side, I'd like the girls to hide with me!

LongTailedTit Tue 27-Aug-13 21:54:28

What's making you feel low lovey?

rowrowrowtheboat Tue 27-Aug-13 22:09:47

Don't hide.

Talk. Or, go to bed, dream lovely dreams, and tomorrow you and the pumblettes can roar at whatever is making you want to hide.

Pumble Tue 27-Aug-13 22:28:06

I like your idea row especially the roaring! I'm going to attempt sleep until my usual insomnia wake up 3 hours later anyway. If bed and roaring fails, I'll work on talking.

Now, where to go and roar tomorrow?! smile

LongTailedTit Tue 27-Aug-13 22:47:52

Tbf, roaring is pretty damn effective! Hope you get some rest and can play at Lions with the lion cubs Ps in the morning, they needn't know why you're putting extra effort into your roars!

magimedi Wed 28-Aug-13 07:31:52

Hope you have somewhere nice to go & roar. It's a lovely day here.

Pumble Fri 30-Aug-13 13:57:06

Ok ladies....what makes a good mother? Part of my CBT homework-any ideas welcome!! smile

Hope you are all having a good week-at least it's Friday! grin

Roaring was a great success by the way!

LongTailedTit Fri 30-Aug-13 18:07:26

Ooh I shall have to think about that for a bit! Currently trying to shovel beans on toast into DS.

My aunt calls roaring Primal Scream Therapy, I prefer pretending to be a lion... ;)

rowrowrowtheboat Fri 30-Aug-13 19:23:37

Love Primal Scream Therapy!

I will have to think too!

rowrowrowtheboat Fri 30-Aug-13 21:51:15

Ok, I need to think some more, but

A good mum is true to her word,if she says you can do/have something/go somewhere, then it happens, even if the child forgets, and if mum says if you do that again then x happens, then x happens. That means she is someone you can always rely on, someone dependable, someone who's word you trust.

A good mum will always be ready for a cuddle, and will be there, will just 'be' in the house, or somewhere near.

A good mum is a good role model, do as I do, rather than do as I say.

A good mum says sorry sometimes, when she has got it wrong and been too harsh

A good mum gives her child opportunities for friendships, for a support network that lasts years. I hope my girls feel they can turn to some of MY friends to talk to, when they are pissed off with me, or their dad, or friends, or whatever. I hope my girls have honest, good friends of their own.

A good mum lets their child be themselves, show their own personalities, gives them a chance to workout things themselves, to grow in confidence in the realisation that they did it.

A good mum gives their child time and opportunities to learn, to have fun, to reflect, to be bored, to be part of a family (however extended) and her child knows that they are deeply loved even in the shouty moments.

A good mum sometimes says no.

A good mum gives herself a break, moves on from the inevitable bad moments and learns from them, has her own sense of purpose, her own interests/work/hobby that gives herself self belief and confidence.

I think everyone will think something different, would remove lots from my list and replace with their own. mine has been fuelled by thinking while. ironing for two hours on a Friday night hmm

Pumble Fri 30-Aug-13 22:01:45

Wow row - that's some list and that two hours of ironing clearly led to some pretty great thinking!

It's so different to how I was trying to quantify it (which involved 'doing arty crap' with your children - as I told my CBT man today!) and actually in many ways makes more sense. Maybe I need to try to look at it in a different way rather than actual things.

I've also got to come up with a list of what makes a crap mother too (the category I think I fall into)

Pumble Fri 30-Aug-13 22:02:51

I especially like your last one row - hard as it is

rowrowrowtheboat Fri 30-Aug-13 22:22:04

But doing arty crap, is BEING with your children, doing the same thing as them, having your attention, even when you are not talking, it everyone is sticking, or colouring, or concentrating. You just need to interpret all the great things you do, into another way of seeing it. " colouring in with P1 let's her kow I am with her, spending time with her is important to me, andi enjoy it' 'singing with P2 makes us giggle together and gives us happy memories"

About the crap list, everyone can write that list,and make it a long one, but I doubt you are a crap mum.

Think of what you do, and the benefits of that, it won't be crap. Going to a playgroup gives your child a chance to develop social skills. An hour in the park gives your child a sense of enjoying being outdoors, another great thing. A routine over a week makes a child feel safe and secure. A break from the routines gives a sense of adventure, or the ability to cope with change. You can find the positive in a lot of things you do with the pumblettes.

I don't do half those things, but if I stop and think, it is what I would like to achieve.

I have really really got to work on the last one too. Oh, and the do as I do. I hear them talking to their dolls, and think, yeah, ok now where that has come from.

LongTailedTit Sat 31-Aug-13 00:35:47

Yup, good work row!

I'm feeling a bit fried, just typed this out (don't read unless you've got your marathon eyes on!) and just remembered I still have to make the bed before I can get in it. Bah humbug.

A good mum:

Covers the basics - everyone fed, clean, and warm.
Is trustworthy, with the daftest or the most serious stuff.
Makes you feel secure, wherever you are.
Always up for a hug.
Jumps in puddles/makes faces/blows raspbellies etc.
Makes sure you know you come first, while also being able to set boundaries and say no when necessary (hmm! Fine balancing act!)
Has high standards, but knows when they don't matter.
Doesn't try to make you something you're not.
Thinks you can do anything in the world, but will be proud of you whatever.
Supports you when you become an adult.
Becomes a soppy grandparent.

Pumble Sat 31-Aug-13 07:20:45

Oh no - forgetting to make the bed until its needed is beyond rubbish.... Hope you got a good night once it was done!

Firstly - congratulations ltt grin grin grin That's great news-am so pleased for you! I haven't managed to read it all properly yet as two pumblettes came to climb on the bed part way through so will do later but no two children are the same. I'll read it properly when the pumblettes allow but wanted to say congratulations early onsmile

rowrowrowtheboat Sat 31-Aug-13 09:28:15

I hate hate had getting to bed and seeing it is not made.

Congratulations LTT, bet it will be different this time round, but please talk.

LongTailedTit Sat 31-Aug-13 12:48:26

Thank you ladies! Tis only early days, fx it sticks.

Sorry about that marathon post on t'other thread, I couldn't seem to condense it. blush

DS woke up before i had finished making the bed and decided he'd had plenty of sleep and it was time to muck about, reckon he dropped off again about 4ish, so really not a good night. Ah well.
It's a beautiful sunny day, and DH is heading home from work - this weekend can only improve!

Hope you are all having good weekends out there, xxx.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now