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Dad sectioned. Just paid my first visit to him on Mental Health Ward. Hand holding required...

(18 Posts)
SinisterBuggyMonth Fri 28-Jun-13 11:41:05

...(bloody phone)

Anyway, nice nurse, dad more setting but still saying he doesn't like being there (which tbf he says everytime he moves)

Thanks for all your comments, and it was goof to read the stories for whom sectioning helped their parents and situations so much for the better.

Right, ironing....

SinisterBuggyMonth Fri 28-Jun-13 11:36:45

Hi Everyone, I went to see DF last night, he seemed more settled and made me a cup of tea, and was happy about the bits I bought him. Is still annoyed about being there and is seeing a lawyer about appealing (!) soon, and is fed up that they dont seemed interested in. treating his feet (they r waiting 4 swab results). They ward is adult age group, he is 58 so too young for older ward. The other patients are very friend ly but DF likes his own space so he might find that annoying. There has been shouty incidents both times I've gone to leave the ward (with other patients, DF not involved) which has been a bit scarey.

I am going camping this weekend with DP, DS and DSS (I know , I'm looking out of the window at the rain, not optimistic) so am packing. My DM has agrees to be available in. case of emergency, albeit grudgingly (my parents divorced when I was 10yo).

There is a nice nurse on the ward, who sounds like a work experience placement on the phone, but she is
remarkably optimistic and candid

nilbyname Wed 26-Jun-13 11:09:43

My dad was in hospital for 3 weeks and the staff were just incredible. I think part of that was just their nature and dedication to the profession, but I don't think it hurt that I would drop in lovely biscuits, cakes etc now and again and was always always so polite and friendly to them.

Have you heard how your dad is today?

MilestoneMum Tue 25-Jun-13 22:33:37

DM was sectioned earlier this year and it was the first time she had been treated for a long=standing mental illness. She got the meds she needed, the consultant was great, and we have a happy ending: she never used to leave the house but now she goes out regularly and we are going abroad next month.

I hope your father gets the treatment he needs. I will be thinking of you.

mamadoc Tue 25-Jun-13 22:18:46

Is he in an older people's ward? These are usually much less 'scary' than general adult.

Remember the people looking after him will be very skilled and have looked after many people in similar situations before.

He is cross and disorientated right now but given a few days I expect he will settle and start getting all the care he needs. You may be surprised how much he can improve just with good nutrition, good care and the right physical help.

Ask for the name of his primary nurse and consultant and ask to be kept informed.

He is in a safe place now and that should take some of the worry away from you.

SinisterBuggyMonth Tue 25-Jun-13 22:17:08

Back now, DP gave me and odd look when I said I'd got wine (!) normally drink beer

Have had a hug. Still a bit shakey.

Thankyou all so much for the support and advice. I'm going to phone the ward tomorrow, the staff seemed a bit disinterested tonight but maybe thats how they have to play it. Must be a hard job though.

Ok, going to cuddle DP on sofa and drink tea or wine, whichever is nearest.

Thankyou everyone flowers

nilbyname Tue 25-Jun-13 21:55:45

sinister hopefully you are home now. Hows the wine??

FannyFifer Tue 25-Jun-13 21:42:34

You have done absolutely the right thing, there was no other option, don't feel bad.

He will be safe, there will be at least one member of staff that can talk him round a wee bit, and get his immediate needs, his legs taken care off.

mrsannekins Tue 25-Jun-13 21:39:33

I'll hold your hand...mental health wards can be very intimidating and distressing places. The staff there should be able to keep you informed, and reassure you if you have any worries.

As others have said, your dad is in the best place he can possibly be, to be properly treated and looked after. You should not feel at all guilty about what has happened.

Look after yourself, it is likely to be a marathon rather than sprint, and your dad is going to need your support and love throughout.

Allalonenow Belgium Tue 25-Jun-13 21:38:36

Your Dad is in the right place to get help and care for him, don't beat yourself up about it.

Don't worry about shopping now, just get a few things to see you through, or go home and eat toast or cornflakes. You can always do an internet shop when you are up to it.

Take care of yourself thanks

Back2Two Tue 25-Jun-13 21:35:06

It's the right thing, and the right place for him.
Even getting his feet treated may save his life and there is no way he would have managed this from home.

Flip your guilt on it's head. He wouldn't even let you look after him any other way than this way. Look after yourself now and ((hugs))

onepieceoflollipop Tue 25-Jun-13 21:30:14

Oh and abandon any proper shopping, just grab a sandwich or a few bits to last til morning.

onepieceoflollipop Tue 25-Jun-13 21:29:17

I know it is upsetting, but as others have said he is now in the right place to be assessed properly and looked after.

onepieceoflollipop Tue 25-Jun-13 21:28:32

I think you are probably in shock after the years of stress and worry, and the distress of your dad being sectioned.

I am a mental health nurse btw.

Try and look after yourself over the next few days, eat, drink, relax as far as is possible, be kind to yourself. Make contact with the ward and try to speak with named nurse/ward manager. Make them aware of your worries and they should be able to reassure/advise.

WandaDoff Tue 25-Jun-13 21:27:35

He really is exactly in the right place to get the help he needs.

Agree with the wine suggestion, you sound like you've earned it.

<<holds hands>>

SinisterBuggyMonth Tue 25-Jun-13 21:24:07

Thankyou, my eyes are watering now, but ind a possitive way.

nilbyname Tue 25-Jun-13 21:21:42

sinister I have no experience of this, but did not want to read and run. For what it is worth, it sounds like you have done the right thing. He is in a place where he can get the right medical attention he needs.

Go to tescos, get a nice bottle of wine, go home, pour a glass and try and unwind.

SinisterBuggyMonth Tue 25-Jun-13 21:19:18

He was sectioned yesterday. This is after repeated attempts to do a MH assessment in. his home which he refused. He has a degenaritive neuro condition with elements ofdementia, hence he lives in squallor, his physical health is terri ble and his feet are swollen and infected. He refuses any help, this has been goingo on for years. He was very aggitated and aggresive tonight and refuses to answer any psychiatric questions or co-operate with the staff. I've no idea what to do, but I feel I've betrayed him badlyou by letting this happen.

I'm supposed to be getting some shopping now. I am sat in. my car in. tescos car park, I don't feel part of the normal world anymore.

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