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trying to think more positive...

(6 Posts)
yamsareyammy Fri 28-Jun-13 19:52:07

Glad you got some help from elsewhere.
Sorry about the funeral x

mouses Fri 28-Jun-13 19:49:59

that ok yams, ive been posting a few other thread and in the village thread.

my nans funeral was today. havent had a good week, couldnt face going.

yamsareyammy Fri 28-Jun-13 17:51:37

Sorry mouses. Missed that you had replied, then been away for a few days, so only now respotted it blush

I think, from what little I know, that some people go in and out of depression.
So, even in the space of a day, it may be all rightish for half the day, and not the other?
Yes, when in it, it is hard to see a lot of things positively.

But I will reiterate, that in no way makes someone a horrible person.

Heck, now further reread and see that your nan's funeral has probably already happened.

mouses Sat 22-Jun-13 10:14:10

hi yam

yes ive seen my gp for depression, she has put me on list to see psychiatrist for further assessment.

i must come across to some as arrogant, rude, stubborn amongst other words! can imagen what that lady thought of me.

im aware that im totally anti-social.

i suppose positive thinking isnt something i can do while like this? i just thought it would help make me think different. but still moaning.

sorry to dampen this already soggy saturday morning.

yamsareyammy Sat 22-Jun-13 09:52:47

sad
You are not horrible.
Yoou have lost you confidence, that does not make you a horrible person.

It sounds to me like you could have depression.
Have you seen a GP?

mouses Sat 22-Jun-13 09:13:32

BUT. its over ridden with negative and agressive thoughts. i realised yesterday just how horrible i am sad

just need to talk about it,

i went to get help with a CV after being a mum for 12yrs i was put into a confidence course to get me prepared etc.

the lady was nice enough, she was going through my qualifications <all of NONE!> she looked at possible future jobs that are around my area and suggestions were:

working with kids - i said id end up strangling them! shock
customer services - i said id cry and walk out if some one was to yell at me.
working with animals, caring, petting - i love animals but for some reason my mind thought if they werent mine, id hurt them if they hurt me! i know.... how awful thoughts. im so horrible evil minded.

i said i dont want to talk to any one.

please dont think im lazy and cant be bothered, its not that way at all i just cant get over the fear and terror of having to socialise, i hate getting on transport, too many people confided. im worried i wouldnt function in the morning, some days i cant get my self together and just feel like laying on my bed. not in a lazy way but no 'GO' way. i feel distant if that makes any sense?

im trying really hard to feel postive, not to say/ think horrible things. its so hard.
my nan past away lately (didnt cry, no emotions) and i cant even bring myself to go to the funeral, too many people. my dad will be there who i havent seen for 8yrs. still dont feel like going.

sorry ive ranted on, just dont have no one to talk to. needed to get it of my chest.

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