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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Anonymity at A&E

69 replies

CyanCloud · 31/05/2013 22:40

Hi

I know this is a bit of a weird question, and I've namechanged to ask it because I'm paranoid.

Does anyone know if you can remain anonymous if you go to A&E? I mean, will they treat you if you don't want to tell them your name? I've tried googling, but nothing definitive is coming up.

Thanks all.

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SirBoobAlot · 31/05/2013 22:41

Is there a reason you'd feel the need to do this?

Are you okay?

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Toughasoldboots · 31/05/2013 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CyanCloud · 31/05/2013 22:50

Without going into too much detail, I have something that may need treating, and A&E is probably the sensible option. I don't want this to make it onto my medical records, don't want my GP etc to be involved, so I'd need it to remain anonymous.

I've never been to A&E as an adult, and I don't know how it works.

If I used a c/o address, are they likely to post anything there? I don't want to cause trouble for whoever actually lives at whatever address I pick.

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SirBoobAlot · 01/06/2013 00:06

I'm guessing, seeing as you've posted on here, that it's self harm related. Are you okay, OP?

In my honest opinion, to lie would be foolish. It would not only add extra complications for you, but for the hospital as well, should something go 'wrong' in your treatment.

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LaChaiseVerte · 01/06/2013 00:20

Yes, you can be treated - you could refuse to give details and would be given a code, you could give false details, or incomplete information and no one would know. Treating you would be the priority.

However, it is not advisable and may affect the quality and consistency of the care provided.

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CyanCloud · 01/06/2013 00:40

I hadn't even thought about it being complicated for the hospital too. That's definitely not what I want.

I'm a horrible liar anyway, far too anxious and paranoid to really carry it off, so that clinches it as being a rubbish idea. I just thought that it'd be one less thing to worry about; no repercussions.

SirBoob, thank you for asking, I'll be fine. Yes, SH-related. I know that they would have asked me about sui thoughts as well, and I wouldn't be able to lie to someone's face about them, so I think it's best to self-treat.

Thank you all for the advice, I appreciate it.

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Pancakeflipper · 01/06/2013 00:47

If its not treatable at home please go to A&E. They do not judge you. They have seen it before and know people are scared of going for assistance

I hope you are ok.
Are you alone or have you family/ friends with you who can hold your hand and support you?

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fluffydressinggown · 01/06/2013 00:48

I have wondered this before. I think it would be difficult because they ask for your address and DOB and GP etc. I think making things up/refusing to give information would make them more concerned for your welfare.

It is your right to only be treated for your physical problems, you can refuse to see any MH services while you are there. You don't even have to tell them it is SI.

Please don't worry about going to A&E, I have been a lot and it is always OK. The staff don't really get too involved.

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CyanCloud · 01/06/2013 01:05

It's not life-threatening. Probably need stitches really, but I can dress them myself.

I don't have friends/family (well, I have family, but I live alone and they don't know about this sort of thing) but I don't need any IRL support.

I hadn't thought through about making them concerned for my welfare or anything, that's definitely not what I want. I wouldn't tell them it was SH, but it's obvious from the rest of my skin what I've done previously, so wouldn't be a leap for them to figure it out. I couldn't deal with the questions.

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fluffydressinggown · 01/06/2013 01:10

I am a pretty closed book at A&E. I just say "I have support at home thank you, I don't need to speak to someone" etc etc. When they ask me what happened I do say it was SI but I usually just say I had a bad day, i don't go into details.

If you need stitches you need stitches, it is a pain because things won't heal if they are not closed properly.

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sooperdooper · 01/06/2013 01:21

Please go to A&E for treatment, they will be more vl

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sooperdooper · 01/06/2013 01:24

Sorry stupid phone!

More concerned with getting you treatment than anything else, I've never had paperwork him from a &e care, they will follow up with GP if you give details but they won't push for them,

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CyanCloud · 01/06/2013 01:34

It should be alright without stitching, I panicked a little when it didn't stop bleeding, but I've dressed it and that has helped.
I often don't properly close (admittedly smaller) wounds, and they're fine, I very rarely get infections (I know that sounds horrible, I know how bad improper wound care can be, but I don't feel like I deserve to look after wounds I've self-inflicted).

If this post is too graphic, please say and I'll delete, or report it for deletion.

I don't have the nerve to go to A&E anymore anyway, it's quite far to get there as I don't drive, and I get really anxious around people, especially if they're asking personal questions. Far too scared that they'd ask if I was suicidal, then not let me leave the hospital.

Thank you all for being so kind.

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Jenda · 01/06/2013 01:47

Hope you are ok. I'm sure there must be something they can do if you refuse to give details as they will still want to treat you. if the bleeding gets worse please get some medical help. Really hope you are feeling better soon

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fluffydressinggown · 01/06/2013 02:01

They will let you leave the hospital :)

Take care of yourself. x

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CyanCloud · 01/06/2013 02:31

Thank you both. It's dressed, I'm good at pressure dressings and no blood has come through, so it's fine. Still open, but it'll heal, I should think.

I can't do anything else now. I'm actually amazed at myself that I even thought about hospital, I think I would have come undone at actually going there.

I'm aware of how self-indulgent this is, but my god, I do wish things were easier. It would be very nice to want to be alive. I hate myself for needing to SH again whilst I'm still being pathetic over the last ones I did.

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ElectricSheep · 01/06/2013 02:40

Your are not being self-indulgent CC, you sound quite sensible about what is, as I'm sure you are aware, an illness.

Why don't you want your GP to know if you don't mind me asking?

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CyanCloud · 01/06/2013 02:55

I can't cope with RL people pretending they care, it's too awful. I don't want to be on tablets again and I can't deal with talking about how I feel IRL. It's all so horribly awkward and fake.

I don't have an illness, I'm just hateful.

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SirBoobAlot · 01/06/2013 09:12

People do care - they honestly wouldn't be in these jobs if they didn't. I understand how you feel though, and it took me a long time to be willing to trust anyone professionally.

And with respect... If you're SI enough to consider needing stitches, you struggle being surrounded by people, you're having all these horrible thoughts about yourself... I would suggest that you are ill. And there is no shame in that.

It can be hard if you've had a negative experience with professionals before, but things aren't always the same way as they were that first time.

I'm slightly concerned for your well being OP.

You sound like you know what to do re wound care, make sure it's kept clean, change the dressings etc. Hope it heals soon.

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ElectricSheep · 01/06/2013 13:17

I can't cope with RL people pretending they care, it's too awful.

Do you care for anyone OP? Do you love anyone and not want them to suffer hurt? Is that awful?

This is an illness CC. And it's your GP's job to offer treatment for your illness. It's your job to value yourself as the unique, wonderful person you are and to seek out that treatment and find a way out of the painful feelings and thoughts you are torturing yourself with.

You have taken the first tiny baby step of posting on here for some advice. I think that indicates that deep down you do probably recognise that you could do with a bit of help just now. There is nothing awkward or shameful about that. I expect that you have helped people in the past at some time? Now it's your turn to get a bit of help.

Please think about it OP. Think about making an appointment on Monday to see your GP. Choose to try to be happier and enjoy life more.

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CyanCloud · 01/06/2013 17:45

I've never actually had a positive experience with healthcare professionals. In my experience, they've just made things worse. I'm terrible at therapy/counselling, I literally cannot talk about personal matters.

I can't talk to my current GP. I've been very lucky in the past to have understanding GPs (hence medication/previous attempts at therapy/psych services), but my current one is not like that. There's not another female GP at the practice, and not another practice within walking distance.
I was on ADs when I moved here, and she stopped them, told me they weren't necessary and I just needed more B vitamins and more exercise (so I'm obviously not ill, or she wouldn't have done that). Admittedly never told her about SH/suicide attempts & thoughts (though some mention is made of SH in my notes from years ago), because I don't think I'd be able to make her understand. She's a very good doctor in all other respects, just not about MH matters.

I genuinely don't think that I need input from MH services, there's not much point anyway when I can't talk about how I feel. I'd be wasting their time.
I am good at wound care when I do it, which I am doing this time. I did think I might need some practical help last night, but I'm more confident today that I can self-treat, at least to avoid an infection.

Thank you both, I'm sorry to have been a nuisance.

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Hoophopes · 01/06/2013 18:09

A minor injuries unit or a walk in centre is often best place for gluing or stitches as:
Shorter wait
Usually they do test you with nurses so less questions asked
No on site psych's so no referral to them before you can leave
Some units do not have dr's and less chance of referral to health visitors etc

You can always see a practise nurse at gp's Mon-fri. Not always have to go to a&e if it helps.

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ElectricSheep · 01/06/2013 19:53

You have not been a nuisance! That's the glory of mn, if you don't feel like posting on a thread you don't have to.

If your GP is crap not very understanding of mh issues then why not just ask for a referral? You don't have to tell her much, just that you are sh and want a referral. You can even say 'I'd prefer not to discuss it now but would like to see a specialist'. You have the right to ask for a referral. It is not really the GP's decision.

When you see a specialist your starting point might be to explain that you really don't want to talk about your issues. If you can discuss your fears and worries around that problem to begin with then you might be able to move on to getting some real help.

You sound as though you have accepted sh and the pain that leads to it. It doesn't have to be like this CC. You can get help with the feelings and thoughts that lead to sh. Would you want to stop sh if you could?

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CyanCloud · 01/06/2013 21:12

I hadn't thought of minor injuries, I don't know if there is one at my nearest hospital, but definitely something to bear in mind.

I've SH'ed for a long time, since I was 12 (I'm mid-20's now). I don't think I would stop, it helps with nearly every negative emotion I have, and is the only thing that feels 'right'. I don't often even have a trigger for doing it, I just get the idea that I should SH, and have to act on it.
It's also the only way I can avoid a suicide attempt. It doesn't always work, and I attempt anyway, but it's the only thing that even has a chance at stopping that thought process.

The GP really isn't crap, she's very medically competent about other things and quite astute. I have no idea if she's different with other people and their MH. It could easily just be that she just sees that I'm not worth her time, and so is dismissive. I don't know if I could take the risk of seeing a specialist, I get weird about rejection, and since I wouldn't be able to actually talk to them, they'd just tell me to go away.
Little worried that they'd send people to my house too, which would make me panic as my house is my little safe-zone, and having other people in it would destroy that.

I don't think that there's anything that anyone could do to really change anything. I know it sounds really self-indulgent and 'woe is me' but, I'm just not worth very much. I'm not much of a person, and I'm definitely not deserving of anyone's time or help (even more so if my using said time/help means that someone else is deprived of it).

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Pancakeflipper · 02/06/2013 00:07

Cyan
You are worthy. You might not see it. But you are.
And the fact you cannot see it means you are deffo worth a helping hand to make it evident to you.

You don't have to share on here. But there's some lovely helpful people on here if you do. Huge range of experiences and stories. And it just can help to know you are not alone.