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my mum worrying me

(6 Posts)
curlycreations Tue 07-May-13 10:22:54

my mum who is increasingly blind and hard of hearing and due to that becoming more housebound.last couple years has fell out with friends and lost contact.she led us to believe the warden was in her house up to no good. last week she is blaming now us -her family even though none of us have keys -she says we have been in and taking things when we are pretending to go to loo, and also me or my sister have been in her house at 7am. though neither of us has key, -this was when she was in bed i think -there are lots other small things she is saying -she dosent want us back . she is blind, near deaf ,vulnerable, and i feel like i have lost her. but what do we do ? who can we contact for help?

ActiveTopics Tue 07-May-13 13:32:05

So sorry, dont know any answer but good luck

NanaNina Tue 07-May-13 13:36:07

I am no medic but it sounds to me that your mum is suffering from a psychotic illness (as in being out of touch with reality) or maybe dementia of some kind, which could be the case if she is elderly. Whatever it is, she needs to be seen by a GP initially and I am pretty sure she won't be willing to go even if you accompany her. Mind you could try this. If she won't go you must contact her GP and advise him/her what is happening. You can talk to a GP in cases like this because the person suffering is not aware that they are out of touch with reality - they think it's everyone else. The GP won't be able to discuss your mother with you because of confidentiality but he/she can listen to your concerns for her mother, and hopefully agree to visit her at home at a time when you can be there with her.

It sounds like your mum is in a warden controlled flat? Have you talked to the warden about your mum's deteriorating physical and mental health. Dementia can build up slowly over a few years. I experienced exactly the same thing with an aunt some years ago who was telling my sister that I had stolen her bed sheets, and then she became more and more bizarre and ended up in a care home.

Your poor mum needs help as I'm sure you know. Are you and your sister near enough to see her regularly even if she is turning you away. You must remember that your mum isn't responsible for what she is saying, it is the illness that is making her think like that, so try to just go along with what she says and don't try to disabuse her about her perceptions as this will make her more agitated.

You can also contact your local Mental Health Community Team who will comes out and do an assessment, but I think the GP is the first port of call. Would be good if you and your sister went together and tell him/her that you are aware that he/she can't discuss anything about your mother, but need to alert him/her to your concerns. Ask if he/she will visit (they have an on call GP every day) and a date could be fixed while you are there, or they could phone you. Your mum will probably be angry but her thinking is distorted and you just have to ride it out. She probably won't be aware that you have been to see the GP.

Hope your mum gets the help and support she needs.

curlycreations Wed 08-May-13 18:31:35

nina thankyou i will follow your advice -i know what youv said makes perfect sense-i just needed someone to tell me, thanks so much.
will get in touch with her gp tomorrow so that at least will start the ball rolling x

ginmakesitallok Wed 08-May-13 18:37:39

DP's granddad was like this, was constantly calling out with people for no reason, but would forget who he'd fallen out with, so it never lasted long. He once have me a £1 winning scratch card to give to dd, then got it into his head that it was for a much larger amount of money and accused me of stealing it. Silly old sod.

Hope your mum's OK, agree that if it's very out of character for her you should speak to go. With DP's granda it was just because he was a crabbit old git.

ginmakesitallok Wed 08-May-13 18:37:56

Falling out, not calling out

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