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Mother and baby unit??

(306 Posts)
martha2013 Sat 04-May-13 19:19:25

Does anyone have any experience of such places? I'm 39+3 weeks pregnant with my very much planned and wanted second child. I have a diagnosis of bipolar and due to risks to baby have recently stopped my anti-psychotic. My psychiatrist thinks my mood is becoming high. I disagree. She is talking about mother and baby hospital after birth. I'm terrified and thinking of doing a runner!

martha2013 Wed 08-May-13 14:44:46

No baby yet. Having a mega wobble. Feeling so impulsive.

working9while5 Wed 08-May-13 15:23:05

Hey Martha, do you think you could maybe contact someone from your care team and tell them how you are feeling? It sounds like you need a bit of help right now. This is a tough time of pregnancy for everyone.

scottishmummy Wed 08-May-13 18:35:48

posting online is avoidance of what you actually need to do Martha.talk to team
you're heavily pg,known to team who have concerns,this wont go away
I urge you to be collaboratively involved with the and tell dh you're non-compliant with meds

Littlefish Wed 08-May-13 20:13:21

You know these feelings mean that you need support and will be losing the ability to make rational decisions. Please contact your care team and talk urgently to your dh. Good luck.

martha2013 Thu 09-May-13 21:21:29

Spoke with cpn today. She threatened me with a mental health assessment if I won't allow daily contact. Guess I have no choice.

Hoophopes Thu 09-May-13 21:41:09

But it is good they are there to offer support for you.

scottishmummy Thu 09-May-13 22:36:27

Martha,given you're non-compliant with meds,suspicious of staff I can see why staff concerned
try reframe how you see this it isn't necessarily threat,it is support for your needs
do work and try collaborate with team and best. wishes

martha2013 Fri 10-May-13 04:37:22

I guess I should be grateful, I realise people are crying out unanswered for support. I just want to be able to enjoy my maternity leave and last few days as a family of 3. Constant reminders that I may well be sectioned after the birth does not feel good. It feels like they are out to get me.

lougle Fri 10-May-13 06:53:20

If you voluntarily go in, they'll soon kick you out when you're stable and they'll see that you have awareness of your state smile. Much better than getting really poorly and being forced into hospital.

martha2013 Sun 12-May-13 06:50:16

40+4 no baby yet. I have agreed to take lorazepam to help me sleep. Still feeling pretty speeded up.

martha2013 Tue 14-May-13 06:38:35

I am very much an atheist, I believe in the beauty of reality. Things are beautiful because they are real. I believe in the wonder of science. This is more than enough for me.

However I am really scaring myself. I am so anxious that the baby won't be ok and that the two of us may not make it through birth. It's like I am wishing I had an omnipotent being I believed in to help me with this. Its scary not trusting what I have always thought. Do I make any sense?

Littlefish Tue 14-May-13 06:43:25

It's completely normal to feel a little anxious about your impending birth. It does sound like your fears are beginning to feel overwhelming though. All I can do is keep encouraging you to speak to your team and lean on them for their support. Good luck.

martha2013 Tue 14-May-13 20:11:48

They came to see me today but I couldn't let them in, feeling a bit paranoid I suppose. Hope I will be induced soon.

tiredemma Wed 15-May-13 08:50:48

martha- Im a mental Health nurse- you must let them in to see how you are. You are at risk here of actually being sectioned- do you really need all of the added stress of trying to convince a team of mental health professionals that you are 'safe' to look after yourself and your new baby?

By avoiding/hiding from them you are indicating that you are disengaging from services. Please Martha- contact them now and arrange to see them.

martha2013 Wed 15-May-13 10:27:08

Hey tiredemma. Thanks for replying, I have huge respect for mental health nurses. I am anxious and terrified about giving birth and falling ill afterwards and having their intervention is making things worse. I know my mood is unstable right now but I want to just be on my own.

scottishmummy Wed 15-May-13 15:31:18

martha by disengaging this is likely to proceed to MHA, maybe admision
i urge you to saee the psychiatrist.see the team and participate in working
yes youre scared,but avoidance and disengagement makes this more urgent,it wont go away

have you considered a friend or advocate be present with you at any assessments to support you

Does your dh and /or GP know youre non-compliant with medication?

working9while5 Wed 15-May-13 15:48:57

I don't really understand the way this works for Martha.

Martha, I don't know anything about the procedures but I don't think you are really aware of how you are from what you are saying. You sound speeded up in what you write.

The thing I don't get about psych services is why is it about "engagement" and "compliance" - surely Martha's just.. well... ill? If you had a relapse of cancer (even if it was because you forgot your meds) no one would be saying it was up to you.

Martha I'm guessing if there is anyone with you that they can see how you are. I hope they help you to get the right help. I've just been discharged from care with a Mother and Baby Unit. I understand what you are saying in terms of your fears. Remember these are normal fears. What's happening here is that those normal fears are becoming confused with your mood. The risk of postpartum psychosis is very high when you are like this. Your best bet is to get help asap. I know it's hard. I understand why you feel paranoid and scared, it is very overwhelming. I hope that you get support to go in asap.

lougle Wed 15-May-13 16:08:38

working the issue is that Martha (or anyone who is psychologically unwell) can only get better if she has the help she needs. The barrier to that help is Martha herself - the nurses can't see she is ok if she refuses to open the door. They have to balance the risks to her and her baby if they don't see that she is ok.

Martha, you are doing fine, but you do need to let the nurses come in and talk to you. That's all. Just so they can see that you are healthy, that you are not a risk to yourself.

You do sound so very scared. Wouldn't it be nice to try the M&B unit, just on a voluntary basis, so that you can know you are safe without having to think about it?

working9while5 Wed 15-May-13 16:41:50

Anyone who is ill can only get better if they get the help they need, whether it's psychological or not. I just don't think some of the language use is helpful. People (whether psychologically well or not) move towards what sounds workable for them and move away from things that sound blaming and aversive. Being sectioned is aversive. If you think you are going to be sectioned, you are less likely to want to see people who might section you.

I agree with Lougle that you sound petrified Martha. You've mentioned a few times about wanting to be induced soon. If this is something you want, you will be able to talk to the mental health team and/or your midwife and GP.

What I am hearing is:
- you are scared for your health
- you are scared for your baby's health
- you want to be induced
- you are afraid of what is coming next
- you are afraid of being sectioned
- you are afraid of people telling you that you are going to be sectioned
- you feel powerless right now
- you are worried about what it's going to be like with two children
- you want to stay with the elevated feelings because right now they are easier than facing the fear.

It is understandable that with all this going on, the pull to avoid seeing people who will confirm that you are ill right now is huge. It's part of being ill. It is your illness playing tricks on you. It's saying that this is not illness, that you can just shut it out. Unfortunately, this is not true.

You can feel that strong urge to avoid and still decide not to avoid. It will be hard but you can do it. You can do the brave thing even if you don't feel brave. The brave thing is admitting that you are not in control and where you would like to be right now.

If you choose to get this help, it is likely:
- you will have support to reduce your fears about your health
- you will have support to reduce your fears about your baby's health
- you may be able to get an induction agreed
- you will have support and a plan in place to prevent the likelihood of you getting sectioned after the birth
- you will get support to regain psychological equilibrium which will increase your feelings of control and power about giving birth
- you will prevent the inevitable crash that follows an elevated state
- you will have better experiences of introducing your second child to your eldest child
- you will improve the experience of having two children.

Your fears are normal. Every mother is terrified at heart that her baby might die, kill her or take her away from her other child. Every mother is afraid of whether they will love the new baby enough, or love it more than their first baby and afraid of what it will do to their family. This is part of this experience and it is hard but the only way to stop it overwhelming you and robbing you of everything you value and everything you wished for and planned for is to get help and get it NOW.

Don't let them in because you are afraid of what they might do.
Let them in because you value this baby, you value your older child, you value your family and this is what you need to do right now to be well enough to demonstrate your love for them. You are not your fears or your thoughts. You are you beyond all of this. To get back to you, you need to get help. It's crap, it's unfair, there's no real reason it's happened to you.. but it is happening and the only way to stop it getting worse is to let them in and accept that you desperately need help.
.
Really hoping that you have support.

scottishmummy Wed 15-May-13 19:59:35

indicators of mental well being are steady mood,ompliance with meds.
no obtrusive thought,not feeling scared,not feeling paranoid.
and willingness to engage with team treating you as you recognise you have an illness that need treatment

Martha has written she feels
scared
feeling increasingly paranoid
non compliant with meds
suspicious of Drs and team,refusing to work with them
as not told her husband she non compliant with med
...this is all likely to be indicative of deterioration in her mental health

the comparison with declining CA treatments,isn't a good comparison.this isn't necessarily about declining treatment. a ca pt could decline treatment,and if assessed to have full capacity to understand,and no mh issue affecting decision making then that decision would be legitimate choice.refusing ca treatment wouldn't usually initiate mh contact,unless mh was considered impaired

in mh if the decision making is influenced by mental illness,then the choice is impaired and result of the mental illness.at that point intervention by psych and team is appropriate.

non engagement is a key indicator of potential deterioration

martha2013 Wed 15-May-13 21:52:59

I have worked hard all my life to try and achieve success and yet I am barely a valid person. Why can't I have any say in what happens to me. It doesn't seem fair. Whatshould be one of the most happy and significant times of my life is becoming a nighmare. They can't section me, I am fine.

scottishmummy Wed 15-May-13 21:56:33

you're being asked your opinion Marta,you're being invited to participate in treatment
you have declined to do so,you're avoiding the team trying to work with you
if your mental state has deteriorated you can be sectioned after an mha

Averted Wed 15-May-13 22:05:08

Martha, I spent four months in a M&B unit as an emergency admission. I was blue lighted there after a dreadful incident. My baby was safe through all this i hasten to add. I would have been sectioned if I hadn't agreed. I am glad I cooperated for the sake of my whole family.

However we feel we have to trust professionals, I look back and realise how very unwell I was, I was not making any kind of rational decisions. The longer you resist the longer your recovery will take.

You will be fine but you need help.

lougle Wed 15-May-13 22:12:21

Martha you are valid. You can have a say in what happens to you, if you co-operate and join in that discussion.

They can section you if you cause them such concern for your wellbeing or that of your child that they feel they have no other option. It is unlikely to happen if you agree a plan with them for keeping yourself well and safe.

It is very likely to happen if you don't allow them see that you can keep safe and well.

Hoophopes Wed 15-May-13 22:22:53

If you engage with them it may be they assess you as not needing the mother and baby unit. Beds are very scarce, they do not offer them lightly and will do everything they can to keep you at home if you follow their treatment plans and can show them you are ok. If you do not engage with them as others have said they can make things non optional which would be more stressful, potentially longer away from family and harder to be free from services in the long run.

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