Depression, anxiety and Ocd

[BaftaAwardPlease]

I have depression and severe anxiety I am on medication but it doesn't seem to help that much, it helps with the depression but not the anxiety.

I don't leave the house hardly ever, I can't do it, school run is a nightmare I literally wait till the last minute get out the car, pray dc is coming out & doors are open so I can get back to the car.

I have to shop online, a few weeks ago one of my Dc got an award at school & had to stand up at the end of an assembly I promised I would be there, it got to the day and I felt physically sick, had panic attacks literally till the time I was ment to leave the house & yes you guessed it I didn't leave the house I couldn't do it my dc was ok but what a failure I am.

I fear contact with people socially I just can't do it, I live a life in my house, I can't work but really need to because of bills we can't just live on dh's wage, the pressure distresses me, how the hell can I get a job with other people when I can't even do the school run or food shopping?

I think my anxiety is causing ocd, I have to constantly check things over & over & over again I can't rest, I could check then 5 minutes later I need to check again, I know, I should crazy.

I am exhausted from myself, I feel a failure as a wife, mum and even a human being.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? Will it get better? What can I do?

[sailorsgal]

You are not a failure. Can u go back to your gp? Isn't there ad's that can help with the anxiety or propanalol which can be taken along side maybe. I have felt like this so know how you feel. Pm me if u like I have tried many things and I can tell you what has helped me. I am taking a holiday by myself which is a big step for me. There is light at the end of the tunnel. :-)

[BaftaAwardPlease]

Thank you for all the advice it helps to read that others have felt the same and I'm not going mad.

I have had my medication changed a lot over the last few months due to them not working or really bad side effects, I am still getting quite bad side effects from my anti depressants which the gp is reluctant to change again because I have tried so many now, I also have propranolol which I take as and when needed they do help take the edge off and relax me a bit but my anxiety is so extreme that the fear is always there. I don't even know what the fear is of but I just can't seem to do things outside the house.

I do have the odd, although not very often good day where I can plough through the housework and do loads, most days though I struggle even with the minor things, I try to do it bit by bit through the day, it really gets me down

I have closed all from all my friends I see no one, sometimes I can't even be bothered to answer the phone because I just don't want to talk.

How my life got like this I will never know.

I asked the gp about counselling but was told there is a 2 year waiting list I also asked about cbt to which I can't even remember the reply. Does anyone have or had this?

I had an extremely stressful situation a few years ago which I think has put me where I am today, I am not even half the person I was, I used to work in a stressful long houred job which didn't help.

[BaftaAwardPlease]

Ps I don't drink alcohol at all, all though at times I am tempted.

Thank you sailorsgal I may pm you

[sailorsgal]

How are you?