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Mental health

I'm feeling all down, depressed and sad again today...

26 replies

emkana · 17/05/2006 09:44

... so it must be a Wednesday.
I seem to have felt like this every Wednesday for the last few weeks.
After a few days of optimism about the health of my baby and now feel shtscared again, and the moment of truth is getting closer and closer and I'm feeling very apprehensive.

Also dd2 is so demanding atm, clingy and she's regressing - doing poos in her nappy, saying she doesn't want to go on the toilet...

I wish I could just switch off for a couple of days really. The mum of a boy in dd1's class has just had a healthy baby boy and I can't help looking at her with the baby and thinking and feeling all black and horrible thoughts.

It's just not bl
dy fair.

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Ledodgyherring · 17/05/2006 09:50

No it's not fair at all emkana, I don't really know what to say other than that and I am really sorry you are going through this worry. As for your dd2 and the regressing with potty training my dd did exactly the same thing just before my ds was born and for a couple of weeks after but is fine now so don't worry about that I know it's a pain but it is very common. Get your dh to take the kids tonight and have some time for yourself just to relax,maybe have a bath or read a book . I'm sorry for the crap advice I have only experienced a very small part of what you are going through and that was enough. Let the fact that we are all thinking about you and are ready to support you in any way we can on here be some comfort to you.

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foundintranslation · 17/05/2006 09:51

Oh em. :(

Don't feel bad about not being able to be cheery and optimistic all the time. It is going to be a rollercoaster ride, particularly as the due date approaches, and you don't know what is coming. It isn't fair, it's horrible that such a special time as pregnancy has to be overshadowed with worry.

Could you maybe let dh have the dds at the weekend and get away, just for the day?

I spoke to A (my friend) again and she sends her thoughts and best wishes unbekannterweise :) and says get in touch whenever you want.

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006 · 17/05/2006 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emkana · 17/05/2006 09:54

I was talking on the phone to a friend yesterday and she's 20 weeks pregnant and we were talking about finding out the sex of the baby etc.
and she said "Well as long as it's healthy"
and that kind of sentence really gets to me because I want to scream "Oh yeah well what if it's not healthy???"

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006 · 17/05/2006 10:00

This reply has been deleted

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emkana · 17/05/2006 10:16

Shameless bump because I really am feeling all at sea today.

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emkana · 17/05/2006 10:27

Oh never mind then.

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sparkler1 · 17/05/2006 10:30

I find the best thing for me when I have a bad day is to get my coat on and get of the house for a couple of hours. It's a difficult thing to do as I always think I should be doing housework or something. Just go for a walk, window shop, visit a friend or just go and grab a coffee in a cafe. A change of four walls makes a huge difference. You'll feel so much better and motivated when you return home.
I do feel for you - it's a horrible thing to go through. xx

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emkana · 17/05/2006 10:33

It's difficult to get out though because I have dd2.

I took her out yesterday, and it was nice.

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pepperpots · 17/05/2006 10:34

Oh em big huhs sweetheart i just wish this was all over for you and the uncertainty was gone. Just remember you little one is precious no matter what xxxx

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foundintranslation · 17/05/2006 10:41

sorry em, I was on way from work to home, where I now am.

Ring me if you want. Teach again later this afternoon but am here in the interim.

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emkana · 17/05/2006 10:43

Thank you.

Feel a bit Blush about my petulance now.
I now what I should really do is get off the stupid computer and do something else.
I couldn't speak on the phone now, wouldn't be able to speak because of the tears. Sad

I will do some tidying up now and play with dd2, have ignored her all morning which is very bad of me.

Thank you to all of you who answered.

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foundintranslation · 17/05/2006 10:46

Don't worry - I've been a lot more petulant in a lot less difficult situations (sorry about the grammar of that - and I call myself an English lecturer Grin )
It's hard, really awful, but soon you will know more and be able to deal with whatever it is.
Take care xxx

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PanicPants · 17/05/2006 10:56

em you have a right to feel down and depressed, but it's strange that wednesdays are a flashpoint for you. Do you think there's a reason why? (other than the obvious?)

Like the others have said, get dh to have the other children and have some time to yourself, to indulge, have a bath, a read or a lie down.

DD2 will be clingy and regress atm, so I guess you just have to go with the flow with her for a while.
How long have you got to go now?

Big hugs, we're all thinking of you xx

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emkana · 17/05/2006 13:11

I'm not sure why it's always on Wednesdays.

Still three weeks blooming weeks to go. Sad

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PanicPants · 17/05/2006 19:14

could be any time then.

I know the last 3 weeks feel like 3 years!

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emkana · 17/05/2006 19:17

Felt better this afternoon because I was out, but it's all floodgates open again now. Sad
Took it out on dh, poor bloke. Blush

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emkana · 17/05/2006 19:18

Next Monday I have a scan where they will decide whether I need to have a c/section.

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PanicPants · 17/05/2006 19:22

Thats what dh/dp's are for, I'm sure he understands. Good luck with the scan. Would you prefer a c-section?

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emkana · 17/05/2006 19:23

No, not really, would scare me even more.
Had my other two naturally and without problems and would rather do it again.
But he might be breech, or the head might be too big, or both.

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PanicPants · 17/05/2006 19:31

Well fingers crossed you don't need one. I'm sure they'll decide to do whats best for you and baby.
Mondays not very far away, and then you'll only have just over 2 weeks to go.

Changing the subject have you thought of any names for him yet?

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emkana · 17/05/2006 19:34

Yes we're sort of decided on Sebastian Edward, even though dd1 has told us repeatedly that she thinks it's a "horrible name." Grin

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PanicPants · 17/05/2006 19:44

Thats a lovely name. I'm sure she'd think every name you chose was horrible :o

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maddiebean · 17/05/2006 19:50

Hi

I'm sorry I don't know what your situation is Emkana but just wanted to reassure you about the c-section. I've had two now and recovered well from both. Scar is just a line and no other effects. Probably little comfort with what you are dealing with but just to let you know.

Maddie
x

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SleepyJess · 17/05/2006 19:54

I think Sebastian Edward is a lovely name :)

Just wanted to add support and virtual hugs. My first pregnancy was full of fear and trepidation. We didn't know what the problem was.. he turned out to have CF.. (is now 13) and my last pregnancy was fine.. but he unexpectedly was born very ill and severely disabled (but despite everything is now nearly 6 and (one of) the lights of our lives!)

Thinking of you Emkana (a lot.. have been following your threads).. and sorry if this is the wrong thing to say (and hoping and praying that you won't need this advice).. but life really does move in mysterious ways and the almost unthinkable can turn out to be a blessing.. even something that at the time feels like a nightmare you just want to escape from. I know what it feels like too when "everyone else" seems to churn out healthy babies, and just not realise how lucky they are.. and moan on about the most trival concerns.. It seems and is very unfair.. but it happens and some of us have to deal with it. And you will deal with it if you have to.

(((hugs)))) (hope you're not adverse to cyber ones!) to you, your family and your special little package on-board :)

SJ x

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