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Feeling awful about everything

(2 Posts)
Blonder21 Fri 19-Apr-13 10:53:38

To cut a long story short, I'm in my late twenties and struggling massively. Have a history of depression/anxiety managed by CBT but feel lately like I can't put what I've learnt into action. Struggling with my job- I work for multiple agencies and there's no work, I might get booked 5 days a week and literally the entire past month I've been cancelled every day. So I've chewed through my savings. Mind you I hate my job anyway but its better than nothing in this economy. Am retraining to do something else but that will take me another year and a half to finish. My relationship is a bit meh, have a partner who is younger than me and who seems hell bent on being as unstable as possible and who (if I'm being honest) I can't see a future with either. I love him and I used to be crazy about him but we fight a lot, and he runs hot and cold depending on his mood. The one good thing in my life is my mum, who I live with and now I can't even help her pay the bills or do anything around the house for her because i have no fucking money. Shes also in an unstable job and struggles with money, poor mum. And to top it off i had the mirena put in a few months ago and I've gained about 3 kilos, which I can't seem to shift and I can't have the fucking thing out because it was put in to control endometrial hyperplasia.

I just feel like a shit person all the time. I'm jealous of everyone that I know, with their happy relationships and stable jobs and families and moving on with their lives. While I'm a virtually unemployed fat failure living at home with my mother. I never used to be a jealous person. Now I find myself feeling so....bitter, I suppose. Just bitter and sad and unhappy. I don't know if this is the depression talking, but I wake up every day wishing I wasn't here. Sorry for the whinge, I just feel so shit all the time. Nothing makes me happy anymore and it feels like life will be like this forever. sad I don't know what to do.

dogsandcats Fri 26-Apr-13 21:21:14

You seem to have several problems.
I dont know anything about CBT. Wanted to answer you, as you have had no replies.
money and current job - might it be better to say see if you can get a waitress job, or working in a carehome job to tide you over until you have retrained?
boyfriend - might it be better to call it a day with him. And see how you both feel?
mirena - dont know anything about that. A visit to the GP may be a good idea?

I think you need to make some changes in your life.
Good luck.

Good news is your mum.

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