Fuck.........Actually, i'm not OK

[Lucyellensmum95]

I thought i was, but im not its not going to be ok is it? :(

[SPBInDisguise]

I don't know, sorry. But I suspect whatever is bothering you can be sorted. Do you have anyone you can talk to?

[AhCmonSeriouslyNow]

I don't know your story but I am sure that someone can help and make things feel a bit better or help you feel supported even if they cannot make things ok.
I didn't want to read and run.

[SPBInDisguise]

Am off on pick up now but will be back to this x

[Lucyellensmum95]

I just almost had a full on panic attack in the supermarket - but i managed (somehow) to get home, was with DD and had to hold it together but it was so so hard - I bought DD a gingerbread man in the cake shop and she dropped it, it was my last £ (in my purse - not in the world) and the lady told her she should have been more careful - but she did give me another one for free, otherwise i think i would have just sobbed. I don't know how i got home - this all seems so pathetic. But thats just it isn't it - i can't even manage to go and buy dinner - i didn't get a full meal FFS What is going on?

[musickeepsmesane]

Has this happened before? I have read some very wise words of yours recently so part of you must be ok . All you need for tea is beans and cheese too worried to say bread cobble together anything, who cares for one night. I was at the supermarket today to buy stuff I had forgotten inc wine and forgot most of it not the wine and I wasn't having a panic attack. Hope you are starting to feel a bit calmer. Think maybe you should see doc if you haven't already?

[Lucyellensmum95]

Seen doctor, on medication but just getting worse

[SPBInDisguise]

Can you make an appt to get it reviewed? Doesn't sound like it's helping

[Pancakeflipper]

Book a doctors appt on Monday.
Toast is do-able with beans or scrambled eggs. And if you forgotvthe bread then scrambled eggs and beans are yummy too.
Don't plan meals that are time consuming to make. Honestly, they will survive on easy to do food for weeks! Take the pressure off yourself.
Try to let your mind rest.

You will get better, but it's no fun feeling really crap.

[Lucyellensmum95]

I was at the doctors this morning feel a bit calmer, having taken a citalopram/diazepam cocktail!

[Pancakeflipper]

Have you changed your meds recently? It can take a few weeks for your body to adjust to them?

Glad you are feeling calmer.

[Lucyellensmum95]

Only started on citalopram two weeks ago

[Pancakeflipper]

Some of the anxiety is likely to be your body adjusting, so when you have an attack remind yourself it is not you. It's the meds. It will pass and it will get better. Are you on a low dosage? The Dr may up it once your body has gotten used to that medication.

[musickeepsmesane]

glad you are feeling calmer.

[MrsWildermac]

It's quite normal for antidepressants to take a few weeks to start working and you often feel a bit worse before you start to feel better.

Go easy on yourself - don't worry about dinner...dig around in the cupboard and make do and I'm sure no one will go hungry :)

[Stropzilla]

I found the time it took my antidepressants to start working to be almost as bad as the depression itself. I was a mess for 2 weeks, you're not alone. Please make allowances for yourself right now, be kind to yourself. Make what my DH used to call a "batchelors dinner". Basically he would rummage thru the cupboards, throw loads of stuff in a bowl and microwave it. Oddly, it usually turned out lovely!

[Lucyellensmum95]

Well somehow (fuck knows how ) i ended up with some weird homepride pasta bake thing - WTF? you just put it in the oven with the pasta and don't even have to cook the pasta - whats that all about???? I usually cook from scratch but know i was getting confused over ingredients - this is crazy. Anyway, that is in the oven, you never know - it might be nice, um, yeah, righto! All i bought apart from that was a huge bulb of garlic and a bottle of washing up liquid (we have a dishwasher )

HAve already had an emergency psych referral this week - i wish i could just go to sleep really, but i know i have to carry on, for my DD

[Stropzilla]

That sounds good! Great you can focus on your DD. I did loads of really, really spectacularly unhelpful things while I was adjusting to my anti-Ds. You have dinner, you have a referral and you have your DD. Now chill if you can.

[HotCrossNaanAndRessurectiOn]

It sounds like you've having a really tough time LEM. Don't knock yourself over struggling with shopping. When you're stressed and depressed getting organised is blooming difficult and when you have a child with you, even more so.

FWIW, I'm quite partial to the odd Homepride pasta bake. Hope you start to pick up soon. x

[NeverBeenToMe]

I think you have to regard the panic attacks as "just a moment in time" - don't define yourself by them. Totally agree that your tablets may take a couple of weeks or more to properly kick in - and when they do, it will feel so good Just hang on in there a bit longer. . .

If its any consolation, I Couldnt think what/how to cook anything tonight. I daren't even post what the kids had But hey, we're all still here. Saving the delicacy of beans on toast for tomorrow!

You'll be alright. You just can't see it right now, but you will xx

[Lucyellensmum95]

Well the dinner was quite nice nicer than my from scratch pasta bakes so happy DP and DD. I'm so tired now I hope i start to feel better soon. This is exhausting. Thankyou guys xx