Where do I start?

[IFeelDepressed]

I am hypothyroid and on levothyroxine - one of the symptoms can be depression so first thing GP offered was anti-depressants before thyroid tests. I am reluctant to take ADs due to growing up with father with mental health problems - he was an alcoholic and diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. He seemed as bad on meds as off them.... I just don't want to go there. However, the thyroxine should be helping by now, been taking for over a year and recently increased dose, blood tests show 'normal' (last TSH test was 3). I feel really unmotivated, procrastinate, waste time when I should be working (work from home a lot).

Life is going ok in general, I earn good money but in a job I don't particularly enjoy. We are financially stable at the moment but my husband is likely to be unemployed by end of May. Though that will mean cutting back a bit we will be fine. However I feel I have the burden of providing for the family (two teenagers who are really good kids).

Husband is 10+ years older than me and unlikely to find another job due to his age and also as he has Parkinson's - which is kind of middle stage, affecting him but not yet disabling. I look ahead and see years of me working while he is basically retired... I find work and dealing with people very difficult, always have really and I just feel so tired. I feel silly really, we are lucky to have jobs and some money put aside but can't shake feeling tearful and down. Do I need to admit I actually am depressed and go back to doc? They have already given a diagnose of CFS and I see consultant this month to see if any underlying issue causing thyroid problems (also had early menopause at 43ish) but am I kidding myself and really depression is the underlying issue?

[BubblegumPie]

Have you tried doing a mental health self checker test on the NHS website?

[IFeelDepressed]

I did try a depression test on something like Am I Depressed.com which highlighted seasonal affective disorder. I do really hate winter now, can't wait for lighter days and evenings. I will look on nhs site too.

[IFeelDepressed]

Hmm just did a short test was did put me depressed category but with a low score. Don't know what to do next, mostly feel like staying in bed forever with covers over my head...

[johnnycomelurky]

Go to your GP and ask for a talking therapy (if you want it!) you sound like a good candidate for a low-level intervention and it might mean you don't need antidepressants. FWIW antidepressants won't be anything like the medications your dad was on. Counselling or brief CBT could be really helpful.

[BubblegumPie]

If you go to the doctors, they can't and wont make you take ADs.

They could refer you for counselling or recommend other ways to improve your mental state without medication. Do you think this would be helpful?

[IFeelDepressed]

Yes I think someone to talk to at this point probably would help. I have had counselling before, most recently around this time last year. I felt very stuck then and only had 8 sessions, paid for by work but it didn't really help me become unstuck. I'm willing to try again though, just wanted to know if I was being stupid in not taking ADs. In fact I do take low dose amitriptyline (10mg) to help me sleep but that was prescribed with fibromyalgia in mind.... Still not sure if I have that or CFS or something else!

[IFeelDepressed]

Thanks for taking the time to reply, I knew writing it down was a good place to start.

[BubblegumPie]

A great first step, next step is to ring GPs and book an apt

[IFeelDepressed]

Thanks. Now I'm back to wondering just what is my problem. Been out of the house last two days, working and felt quite a lot better than Tuesday when I did more or less spend the day in bed. Is there something else that could cause big mood swings in such a short time?

[BubblegumPie]

Did you book with GP?

[IFeelDepressed]

No haven't gone back to GP, had thyroid blood retest this week so will get result next week and have consultant for thyroid etc on 26th so will raise it then - if I want to see same GP it usually take over a week to get an appointment anyway!