Lonely or PND?

[teacakes]

Hi there,
I have been off work for 8mths and have a lovely DD of 6.5mths. We have recently moved into a new area from Ldn to a small village in Cambs.

I have heard about PND and not sure if that is what I am feeling or if it is just loneliness? Same days I just feel like there is nothing out there and feel angry as I should be happy with a wonderful DH and a gorgeous DD and supportive family (who do not live close by)?

What does PND feel like?

[fransmom]

hi teacakes i'm sorry to hear you lonely. have you talked to your hv? there are some good ones out there, hopefully yours is one

[Notquitesotiredmum]

Hi teacakes

At your baby's 8 month check-up you should be asked to fill out the Edinburgh questionnaire again, which Healthvisitors use as an indicator of PND. If in doubt, you could always ask your hv if you could do it a few weeks sooner, and therefore chat to her about it now. In preparation, it is worth thinking how you feel on a bad day, as you should use that as your guide to answering the questions, rather than how you feel on the day of the visit, which may be more happier, once you have a visitor in the house admiring your beautiful baby and chatting to you. I certainly made that mistake and so didn't get help with PND after ds1. I didn't make the same mistake second time.

The questionnaire asks questions like: do you cry - all day, sometimes, rarely . . .can't remember any more myself at the moment. Others might help.

Being a new mum and giving up work can definitely be a lonely experience with or without PND, as you can lose work colleagues, and lose contact with friends who work all day, or whose kids are of different ages to yours. I found it really really hard to meet other mums, who had not already formed close links with other mums, and found I had to persist in trying any different groups going to increase the range of people I was meeting. I also found that I missed my supportive but distant family loads too. Until you have a baby, you don't realise how far away they are!

Joining a gym for an occasional evening workout made me feel human again rather than 'just' a mum with leaky boobs and arms full of nappy bags! You also get to finish whole sentences, and to make eye contact with someone when talking to them! And MN is great for discovering other people who share your interests and remind you how to be you.

PND has many symptoms but generally linked to a feeling of blackness, hopelessness that hangs around horribly.

Do hope that you have a good HV. Let us know how you get on.

[Caribbeanqueen]

hi teacakes, sorry you are not feeling too good. I agree that you should go back to see your hv and discuss how you feel. I moved into a new area when dd was small and it was very lonely and isolating.

I'm also in Cambs and there are a few of us around, so if you want to say where you are, perhaps we can arrange a meet-up.

[fransmom]

i've never been asked about the edinburgh test

do go and see her though x

[Caththerese1973]

I have been depressed but never had PND (luckily). Depression makes you feel tired, flat, flat, flat and extraordinarily irritable. If severe, you would feel like everything was an effort, like there was no joy anywhere, like you just wanted to be left alone to lie down and cry. If REALLY severe, you might get delusional feelings of guilt etc.
You might be mildly depressed. Worth a trip to the GP to talk it over, I would say. Anti-ds do work, but you have to be informed. Don't start on a 'normal' dose of SSRI (such as Prozac)suddenly, even if doc suggests it (this can have horrible side effects) - start on very low dose and build up gradually. I am not talking out of my bum here - I have had major probs with depression for years and many bad experiences with anti-ds due to gung-ho docs who put me on huge doses abruptly. Also, if you are on an anti-d, you need to be prepared to actually feel somewhat worse initially. It's only after about eight weeks that mood improves, in my experience.

[queenrollo]

this is how i feel.....i've cried almost non-stop since the weekend. i'm so lonely and isolated in the village where i live. i feel like i'm letting ds down because it feels like such an effort to play with him, and he deserves a happy mummy.
i really don't want to go on ad's and this is my gp's answer to everything. so i feel even more trapped......

[PanicPants]

Queenrollo - this is exactly how I felt about ads, but they have made such a difference to my life, it's really worth it, they're not addictive (at least mine aren't) and you may only need them for a few months and then can come off them (slowly)

It might be worth just trying them.

[queenrollo]

thankyou for that Panicpants.....i think it's time to make an appointment with my GP.......i need to sort this out.

[PanicPants]

Good luck, but remember with as (I'm on citalopram) that for the first 2 weeks, they make you feel worse and thensuddenly you begin to feel better. I'm going to start coming off mine this month, I've been on them for 3 months now and I think I'm ready to slowly reduce my dose and stop them.

You see, going on ad, doesn't mean you have to be on them forever

Let me know how it goes, or if you want to talk you can email me at [email protected]

xx

[WigWamBam]

You can do the Edinburgh Test online \link{http://www.kellymom.com/ppd/ppd-quiz.php\here} if that would help for starters.

[teacakes]

thank you all for your replies, it is nice to be able to talk about this, as i have been keeping it from everyone i know. i don't want them to think i am not coping, even worse that i am ungrateful. especially as i was the one who wanted to move to the countryside and all our families helped us to achieve this. my DH is great and askes how i am coping/feeling. i would feel terrible if he knew i was sad, so i feel like i have to hold back about 80% of how i am feeling.

thanks for the link WWB, i'll give it a go.

i have not thought of speaking to my HV, never occurred to me that she could suggest something.

with the bank holiday we had family down which makes me feel so much lighter having people round that you feel comfortable with, i dread when people have to leave.

hope you are feeling better today QueenR, i know what you mean about AD's, they seem a big step to take. sometimes when i don't feel like playing with DD, i just cry with her - i read somewhere that it is good for babies to get the full range of emotions, so at least i know she will well rounded

Caribbeanqueen i am near Huntingdon - are you close by?