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not suicidal=no help

(31 Posts)
Scruffalo Tue 05-Feb-13 02:15:29

I've spent years, in fact my whole adult life, asking for help but have got nowhere. It seems to me that unless I am suicidal or a danger to others, I'm not really important as far as mental health services go. I know they are stretched and about all the funding cuts etc. and I'm not saying people who are suicidal shouldn't be prioritised obviously. My problems do affect me everyday and seriously reduce the quality of my life though. If it were a physical illness, I'm sure somebody would have helped me by now, even if it was something I wasn't about to immediately drop down dead from. So why should I be expected to just carry on with no help, or worse be expected to cure myself?

Recently I have even considered lying to say I am suicidal, just so that someone might actually listen and do something for once. The problem with that would be because I know they already think my DC must be neglected/unhappy/in danger (so completely untrue) and would jump at the chance to send the SS in to our lives. They wouldn't even stop to think that it would do nothing to help solve my problems and quite likely would just make them worse.

So basically I am stuck in this position. I hate my life but have no way of changing it and no one to turn to for help. Does anyone else think like this or is it just my crazy brain thinking nonsense again?

thunksheadontable Thu 07-Feb-13 22:37:29

Not a psychologist either but would you think maybe the list making is a bit OCD? Have you ever had any CBT or anything like it?

thunksheadontable Thu 07-Feb-13 22:39:05

Also 'crazy evil thoughts' can be OCD too.. intrusive thoughts...

thunksheadontable Thu 07-Feb-13 22:42:23

(And ASD and others share some features in common with ocd, but what you are describing and the anger at being interrupted and having to start again sounds v like ocd to me, which is my diagnosis).

MechanicalTheatre Thu 07-Feb-13 22:53:17

Yeah I was going to mention the intrusive thoughts as well. I get those (I have BPD) and although it's disturbing, I don't think you should judge yourself because of them.

Scruffalo Fri 08-Feb-13 00:15:35

I meant I didn't have the problem of sleeping too much as a child , it was the opposite and I didn't sleep enough and I coped fine with it. Even up to my 20s I was doing this because I usually worked the late shift (11am-7pm) so I would go to sleep 2-3am most nights and get up around 10am. I never felt tired doing that or needed to have extra sleep to catch up, unlike now. Obviously things change once DC were born with night feeds etc and now needing to be up to give them breakfast and go to school.

I will have a look at OCD as I only really now about the cleaning type of that, which I definitely don't have by the state my house is in most days!

Anyway, I took the new tablets (amytripyline) for the 1st time last night. I am slighty worried as I can't remember now if the GP said to stop taking the citalopram or carry on with those as well. In any case I haven't noticed either any withdrawls from stopping the citalopram or any effects so far from the amytripyline. Last night I went to sleep at 12.30am and woke at 7.45am (slept through alarms and nearly late for school) I think I then slept between 10-12 but not sure as I was at my desk that whole time (sat upright) but I have no memory of what happened in that time and there was certainly no evidence of work getting done in those 2 hours. I then had to go home to wait for an engineer call out between 3-6pm and slept from approx 3.15 until 4.50 when the engineer knocked on the door. Also had 5 missed calls that I had slept through (phone in pocket) while I was asleep.

Unfortunatlyanxious Fri 08-Feb-13 08:34:40

The emphasis on cleaning with OCD means few people really understand what OCD is because the cleaning being tidy information is always focused on. I have been diagnosed with OCD amongst other things. Mine kicks in when my other illness is bad.

I actually think you should not diagnose by Doctor Google, write down your issues and get a referral.

The lists you write

The intrusive thoughts and honestly the stuff I told my counsellor which is vile, they didn't flinch or lock me up

The falling sleep

The fears of going new places

I fall asleep when very stressed and feel incredibly tired, not to your extent but I have fallen asleep when sat upright

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