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Bipolar support thread?

(513 Posts)
Crawling Sun 03-Feb-13 19:04:00

Ive noticed there are quite a few of us and thought maybe a thread for us would be good. All are welcome those diagnosed and those awaiting diagnosis.

Ill start with Ive been depressed so long now I dont remember how I used to feel, yet id still prefer this to mania as the havoc I reaked last time was very painful to clean up after my episode. If I had to chart my mood today between 1-10 1 being I cant think how to make a cup of tea and 5 being good 10 being the tv is talking to me and I must go out now im about a 3 today what about you guys?

Crawling Mon 15-Apr-13 20:06:13

How is everyone?

nenevomito Mon 15-Apr-13 21:47:11

Yay for stability! Pleased to hear it Crawling smile

I'm OK, I'm actually <gasp> enjoying life. The difference in the children is marked and it makes me feel a bit shitty knowing that they struggle when I'm ill too. I've just got a child seat for the back of my bike and picked DD up from nursery today. It was so lovely riding home with her chatting away on the back.

Work is going well. I have a lot on, but am coping with it and I don't feel like I'm dead on the inside. I'm always looking and watching my mood though. It would be nice not to worry about whether I'm getting too happy and just enjoy it.

All I want is a bit of stability, so I can get on with my job and enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Its not too much to ask. I hope.

Crawling Tue 16-Apr-13 06:51:05

Fingers crossed you stay stable it sounds like your doing really well. I get what you mean about always watching your mood its a pain. Also I felt terrible as after my worst episode which was a mixed and I was very pychotic my elseat child didnt want to be alone with me for about a week.

I didnt push I just calmly waited till he could see I was okay and slowly he came back to me but it broke my heart.

nenevomito Tue 16-Apr-13 09:26:06

Mixed episodes <shudder>. They're the utter worst, especially when they're swinging all over the place. I'd rather be very depressed or very high than that mixed swinging bag of poo!

Crawling Tue 16-Apr-13 09:51:40

Mixed are def worse at one point I was laughing maneicly (sp) crying and smashing my head against the wall arguing with two people I never knew you could do all that at the same time.

Crawling Tue 16-Apr-13 09:52:17

The two people were hallucinations btw.

Juneywoony Tue 16-Apr-13 11:12:44

Glad some of you are doing well......wish i was....after coming down from the rapid cycling i am now going down and down i feel broken. Sat here in floods of tears, for over a week now it's gradually gotten worse.

I never ever thought i would feel suicidal again after having the children but i keep thinking about it but ways in which it looks like an accident to spare my family the shame. I don't want to leave them but feel they would be better off without me it breaks my heart. Haven't contacted the crisis team as i just don't trust them they twisted some of the things i said last time. I spoke to one of the Psych's at the hospital yesterday, said i felt down didn't go into detail and she then spoke to my usual guy and he is upping my depekote to 500mg twice daily, should be able to get that this afternoon, i hope to god it works as i just don't trust myself. Spoke to my husband last night and said im giving it a week and if i am still bad then i may ask to have a course of ECT again it has really helped me in the past.

I'm trying to stay positive but then i think, yer i will feel well again but at some point i'l fuck up and get ill again......can i face a lifetime of this??!!!

Crawling Tue 16-Apr-13 19:43:13

So sorry your feeling so rough hopefully the new increase will help Ive lost over a stone side effects are minimal all is good but I do have to up my dose to the max starting tomorrow?

Juneywoony Fri 19-Apr-13 16:44:54

Thanks Crawling.....feeling a little better and the bad thoughts are dying down. I've forced myself to do some exercise these past few days and i think that has helped too.

How are you getting on with your dosage change?

Mine got upped Tuesday and I've had horrendous nightmares, last night not as bad so I am hoping it is just a temporary thing. Hair's starting to shed more than normal though so I'm keeping an eye on that..... i certainly won't feel good about myself if I'm bald lol!

nenevomito Fri 19-Apr-13 20:50:45

I'm back down again. I'm having all of these lovely little ups, but then go back to normal. I miss the ups!

Crawling Sat 20-Apr-13 07:43:49

Im going back up again im getting married and I think the stresz is sending me manic.

Juney my meds increase is fine but I had my meds to counter side effects increased as well as with abilify you can do that. Sorry your finding it hard.

Babyheave again sorry your finding things so hard.

My 18 mth old has fractured her her leg its in plaster sad

Crawling Sun 21-Apr-13 07:12:35

How are we all doing?

nenevomito Mon 22-Apr-13 13:14:22

Hi All - I'm doing OK and I seem to be pretty stable, which is a lovely change. I'm going to see how I do while my CareCo is away and if I don't need any help during that time, I'm going to ask to be moved onto recovery where you only see someone once every 6 months or so.

I spoke to DH about it and he reminded me that its only a couple of months since I was off work and really unwell, but I am fed up with being ill and really just want to move on now.

I'm not saying I wouldn't access services or refuse to engage if I felt my mood was going the wrong way, but I DO want to move on in my life and don't feel that I can do it if I'm seeing someone once a month or so who reminds me about how bad things have been.

I spent years dealing with my own problems and not having any input from any services at all. No, it wasn't easy, but I wasn't on any medication then and had no understanding about my own condition, so I couldn't have managed it.

Now I understand about BiPolar and I am on an even keel with the meds that I'm on, I just want to get out of the system and back into my old life.

I reckoned if I could go without help for three months, then that would be a good indicator that I could last longer.

Crawling Mon 22-Apr-13 18:41:20

Yay Babyheave It sounds like a great plan to me hope It works Well.

Im finding Organising a wedding on short notice very stressful and It seems to be making my mood wonky.

nenevomito Mon 22-Apr-13 18:52:43

Crawling - arranging a wedding makes anyone wonky bipolar or not grin

Crawling Mon 22-Apr-13 18:54:38

grin I have 3 months to do It to.

nenevomito Mon 22-Apr-13 19:12:32

That's a very tight deadline, but quite exciting too. Have you got your venue and dress sorted?

Crawling Mon 22-Apr-13 19:39:50

Venue is st audries and my dress I got in a shop that was closing reduced to sort£50.

nenevomito Tue 23-Apr-13 21:44:28

Brilliant bargain on the dress!

How is everyone doing today? I have a load of work on at the moment, but I'm dealing with it and its not getting on top of me. I really hope that this phase of being OK keeps up.

I'm being distracted at the moment as my rat is nibbling my socks grin

Juneywoony Wed 24-Apr-13 07:20:12

Hi Everyone,

Congratulations on the wedding Crawling....as Babyheave says organising one can make anyone wonky, I got so stressed on the build up to mine and we had 18 months to plan, saying that so much has to be left to the last minute anyway i remember thinking i wish we had done it over a smaller time period. I'm sure it will be lovely. How is your little ones leg?

Glad your feeling ok Babyheave. (laughing at the rat nibbling on your socks)

I'm feeling better......what a difference a week can make, well a day sometimes! I feel like I'm starting to actually enjoy things rather than just do them because i have to function. Still think i have a way to go but feel more positive.

Got a wedding to go to on saturday which I'm looking forward to, going to nip into town and get some nude sucker inner knickers and maybe a fascinater (still not sure about this as the outfit is quite fussy) defo the knickers though lol, xxxxxx

Crawling Wed 24-Apr-13 07:28:53

Glad your feeling better juney the med increase worked then lo leg is much better but she wont stay off It get to Try and have the plaster off friday. Im feeling good still cant sleep more than six hours though.

Crawling Wed 24-Apr-13 08:05:25

Oh and im down from 12stone 13lbs to 11: 9lbs Its coming off slowly.

Juneywoony Wed 24-Apr-13 13:10:05

Crawling expect to loose some more with the stress of planning the wedding, i lost quite a bit in the 3 weeks running up to mine and i didn't really have it to lose then!

Bought my knickers lol, no fascinater though couldn't find anything within budget that was small and simple, my dress is quite fussy so better without i think.

I'm not sleeping much more than 6 hours myself, had a few bad nights with awful nightmares last week when the med's were upped but they seem to have gone thankfully. Feeling super sleepy now though been up since 6.

Crawling Wed 24-Apr-13 13:27:33

Glad you got your knickers grin I was up at six too.

Juneywoony Wed 24-Apr-13 13:51:50

So was I, was a primark job and they had loads in black but hardly any in nude, all on the top bloody shelf and i'm only 5'1 so it was a struggle and there was only one pair left in my size just hoping they don't show through my dress now haha!. Just hoping my shellac nail polishes arrive from amazon in time now then i'm good to go!

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