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we were all in the bed, this is the 2nd thread....roll over! roll over!

(955 Posts)
ThatVikRinA22 Sat 02-Feb-13 01:26:21

so we all rolled over and hellebelles told us to get our arses out of bed......smile

ive started a new one because there are only a few posts left on the old thread before it gets full.

nana ive described myself on the old thread just for you! smile

so.

nana hellesbelles mama ed silvery and basset and any one else who posted on the old thread or who relates to our experiences and wants to post on the new one....welcome to the new thread.

old one here

NanaNina Sat 02-Feb-13 19:01:22

Well we are quite a gang now, and it's great that others can join in but I know I won't remember everyone so will reply to those I can remember so please don't be offended. Of course Vicar is the leader of the gang as she started the thread. So Vicar - is this the weekend your son is home, and just think in a few hours you will have got through this social event that you are no looking forward to......I'm sure you will get through it better than you think, and glad DS's bank accounts are sorted (well to some extent)

Glad all is well in the Basset household. I hope I didn't offend you by suggesting you might be overweight, but it was just remembering you saying you were "waddling" along, which really made me smile at the time. I tend to be in the thread more when I'm feeling OK to see if I can help others, but also come on when I'm feeling crap. As Ed says she is usually on more when she's feeling crap, because at other times she is busy living a normal life! (I assume) Incidentally Ed have you had that conversation with your tutor yet, and have you decided what to do - is there an option, like postponing the PGCE till later, but I know it's a short course but horrendously difficult, but you still have till summer this year to finish don't you.

Huge empathy to everyone suffering the torment of mental illness. I am utterly convinced it can only be understood by those who have personal experience.

Oh and Vicar where is that photo???!!! Go for it......

Tbf I am here daily. Always night. Usually morning.

It's when I start posting all day and answering myself I know I'm having a bad day smile

Enjoy yourself tonight vicar. Get glammed up. Take that photo and think of the acheivement.

I struggleinto be sociable with those I know and lol when I'm down....so look at every minute as an acheivement

bassetfeet Sat 02-Feb-13 20:15:45

No offence taken at all Nina . Absolutely not at all . I do waddle due to being too fat and bad back . So not an alluring look .
I am 5ft 8in and once was slim ......once had blonde hair in nice layered bob .
Ah well tis life dont have to like it though . my own fault as always .

Thanks Nina and Helles for kind words re my husband . So lovely to get and appreciated .
Bet we would all have a very interesting time if we all met eh ?
Kindred souls indeedthanks

Just a thought here though for Vicar and anyone else in public sector work
Dont put your pics up . This is the internet and is available for all to see.
I was found and stalked on face book and had sensible links there /privacy settings etc
Be careful .
I hope this is taken in the way it is intended ....just my thoughts.

bassetfeet Sat 02-Feb-13 20:47:54

just been a pondering folks
Music ,books and poetry have a big influence and comfort to me at times

if you feel comfortable ..can you share her the ones who help you and mean something?
thank you

mamakoula Sat 02-Feb-13 21:21:39

yikes! I will start with the simple part.

HB you were very close on all three! (looks over shoulder, twitches the net curtains and peers out).

I am 37, 5ft 3 and a size 10. My hair is long and dark brown but needs a good cut as I lost so much when going through hell last year. And it is curly smile Maybe it will go back to short but I really dislike the growing out phase so it may go to a long bob. I am also trying to grow the white out so I now have silver through it. Still a bit unsure.

My eyes are a mixture of brown, green and blue and the colours go through phases. At the moment green is the strongest colour.

I love reading, music and learning new languages. In fact, I simply love learning if that makes sense. I am a classic introvert but enjoy the company of a few trusted friends. I love the outdoors and the sea especially.

I spent 10+ years in academia as a research scientist and I miss it incredibly. I love the mixture - thinking, doing, learning, teaching, discovering and exploration. I am deciding what to do next but want to be more stable before I consider a job. My last job made me forget what it is like to be in a working relationship with a boss. He was an abusive bully who went out of his way to put me down and mismanage. This is the root of my problems and I have been diagnosed with PTSD.

I am gentle but determined; I have been described as compassionate and a fighter because I am committed to those people and things I believe in and I will invest myself into these. People are more important than things and I am not a person to accumulate things or gadgets. The items I do have are either (a) because they are useful - often pretty but useful (I like beautiful things), or (b) they have memories. I had a very happy childhood and it has helped me through many tough times because despite everything I believe in the beauty of life and people. Making memories is an important part of life and I believe in creating good ones for myself and others. I like helping people and teaching was a wonderful experience. Contributing to the growth and development of others is always a privilege (but I could not become a classroom teacher although I have a lot of teaching experience including lecturing). I prefer 1-on-1 teaching as it allows for a more personal approach and to tailor it to help the person mature.

DD is 5 and DH and I are lucky to have such a happy little person. I am still surprised by her persistence and determination (don't know where that came from....). She is an absolute chatterbox and we both love hugs. She is curious and is now learning to read for herself. Above all I want for her to be happy, secure and confident in herself, and mindful of others.

HellesBelles396 Sat 02-Feb-13 22:16:28

nit like me to be intuitive mama - maybe I'm turning into a new person! my eyes are multi-coloured too - Brown outer and inner rings with grey/green in between. sounds nicer than it is. difficult to classify for forms and gcse inheritance questionnaires so I tend to say hazel.

for our lovely new friends, I am a bit of a bed-bully because I know how much worse I feel during and after spending to much time in bed. the phrase "turning your face to the wall" sums up the way it feels ans also the sense of giving up that staying in bed, for me, entails. for me, the more I'm in bed, the more I want to be in bed ans the more disgusted with myself I am.

things that I turn to when I feel bad:

it's all about you by mcfly reminds me not to be so self-centred. j'ai Ho by the pussycat dolls gets me jiggling and reminds me of training for the great north run a few years ago. the world's greatest by r Kelly really lifts my mood. the great escape theme reminds me I'm not at my old job anymore - that I made a change.

any discworld novel gets my brain working and any James herriot novel reminds me that life goes on. footprints reminds me I'm not alone - particularly the last line. remembering a chapter of what Katy did, after she damaged her back and cousin Helen explained that not bothering to look after herself or open the curtains or keep her room nice meant that she and everyone around her felt worse than they had to.

probably all seems a bit random! of course, when i'm really bad, none of it is accessible to me.

Shakinstevie Sat 02-Feb-13 23:55:13

Thank you very much for the warm welcome smile I have just realised something though I hastily name changed this morning before posting and now when reading back the other thread it appears my new name is very similar to another name, I will change mine tomorrow to avoid confusion.

Vicar I hop you enjoy your night out tonight, sometimes the nights we are not looking forward too turn out to be good. I am drawing some similarities with you I think, I too work in the public sector but not police, I have a love for horses which comes from childhood (I used to compete) but that all stopped when I had the girls, I hope in the future to get back in the saddle, as it has never left me. I also read that your dd has your worry gene, I think dd1 also has my nature and I am a worrier by nature.

Nana you have spoken to me before about anxiety and I notice you always give very sound advice, it's true we must all post during different times depending on how we are feeling, I think for me as I haven't spoken to dh recently about this (he works away for long periods and I don't want to put this on him when he is so far away) I feel this is an outlet for me and is quite therapeutic writing it all down, it's also great for support as we will all have some understanding about what we re going through.

Helles I completely agree with you with regards to bed, I have to get up, shower and dressed first thing or it doesn't happen, also what is discworld? That's twice I have seen it written today on mn. I think I will go to gp but it's difficult I now work very closly with my gp, and have been thinking of changing for that reason but they were brilliant with me last time and I have been with them since I was born.

We have had a good day here with some housework, then a nice walk with the dog and girls, well they rode their bikes and myself and dog kind of ran after the little one who decided it was much better to go as fast as she possibly could on her bike smile

Morning all.

Goodish day yesterday. Up all day. Didn't do Ghent baking primarily because plans changed. I left kitchen in a mess last night thoughsad and I left washing in thread machine sad

A friend has booked a nice break for week after next tho smile but means I have to get with it enough to back everything we need....

Good nights sleep 7 1/2 hours and I don't remember waking...but I am still shattered.

I WILL get out of bed when I've hit post. I WILL use every ounce of will power to do so. Swimming lessons this morning so have to be up by 9.15, .but if I get up now I can put the kitchen right before I go...

...maybe...

I failed.....I'm. Still in bed....

HellesBelles396 Sun 03-Feb-13 09:11:30

Good morning! sleepover 2 going well though dcousin us playing with ds signed basketball shock angry shock

problem solved -ds's sign language isn't good enough to explain that if you play with the basketball, the signatures come off!

right shower time! then have to shower dcousin.

having a gp you feel comfortable talking to is crucial for getting better stevie but I can see how it would affect your ability to be open with them if you work with them too - tough call on that one. honestly don't know what I would do.

HellesBelles396 Sun 03-Feb-13 09:12:17

you're already late ed! get up!!!

HellesBelles396 Sun 03-Feb-13 09:27:51

sorry, stevie, but what I'm about to tell you may change your life.

discworld is a series of fantasy novels written by sir terry pratchett. they sometimes pastiche roundworld (rl!) situations eg there is a discworld version of phantom of the opera and of macbeth (both better than the originals imo). so clever and wry and sometimes comical though there are some quite serious issues included. there are sub-series within the discworld novels:
city watch (about the police force in the disc's largest city - my second favourite series - features the watch commander who is very introspective)
witches (about a coven of witches- prob my favourite series and quite comical with many insights into human behaviour)
unseen university (wizards - fine popping up in other books but my least favourite set of novels)
death (on discworld, an anthropomorphic personification - wants to understand humanity - excellent novels)
others (various themes - the shady worlds of commerce and politics feature in the latest novels).

I had been annoyed one day because there was a scrum at the entrance to the student's union when I was going to meet friends for lunch. "who on earth is this terry pratchett? I barely managed to gt in the place" I shouted across while ordering cheesy chips and a pint of tea. I was handed "feet of clay" and I was hooked.

the only books I have been able to read several times - in fact, I've been able to close the back page and immediately reopen the front page. and as I read more and learn more, I realise how many references to history, geography, social anthropology, etc are hidden without the novels.

ok - gushing over!

HellesBelles396 Sun 03-Feb-13 14:09:23

hoping everyone's having a good day smile

helles has talking to herself syndrome smile

Crap day here.

Been out to swimming. Been rooted to the sofa ever since...which is better than bed but no more useful.

I am in homework hell that is Sunday's....

Got to clear garage
Got to cook a roast.
Got to clean whole house for brownie leader meeting tomorrow.

So so so sleepy sad

HellesBelles396 Sun 03-Feb-13 16:42:06

it was starting to feel that way grin

ed there us no realistic way to do all of that in what is left of today!

is brownie leaders meeting day or evening - could you leave some of housework til tomorrow? to allow you to focus on homework, feeding the family, etc?

Yeah the meeting is evening so I know I have tomorrow too.

I've cleared a path in my garage.
I've lined up the bottles of alcohol in my conservatory.
I've changed my tv...old one is in boot of car...new one needs setting up properly but sky and Wii are plumbed in so that's good.
chicken is in the oven....DTDs are prepping veg smile

Feeling reasonably motivated so lounge will be sorted whilst tea is cooking. I will try and be good and tidy kitchen before bed but no promises.

I desperately want to do careers advisor tomorrow or Tuesday...

HellesBelles396 Sun 03-Feb-13 17:04:03

then make it so - have a to do list of one thing - the most important thing - and when that's done - only when it's done - pick a new task.

NanaNina Sun 03-Feb-13 20:02:09

Hi everyone- I am amazed at how early some of you get up even when you don't want to. My day started badly with HM wide awake and I had a long cry much earlier than usual and I'm always glad about that because it does bring some relief. Had a stupid argument with DP last night over nothing really and we both "lost it" and there was some shouting going on. He woke me at 8 ish this morning to say he was sorry and it was all his fault (which it was) and so I was non too pleased, but managed to get back to sleep.

Picked up a bit by 2.00 and a friend phoned which was nice and then DP came back fom his ramblers walk at 3.00 and asked how I was - "crap" I said and he went on and on about how sorry he was.........I don't feel in any way kindly disposed towards him today, so took myself off to see my sister but didn't tell her what happened. Came back at 7.00 and he is still saying sorry and it's getting me down because I've heard it all before. He is mostly calm but can "kick off" from time to time over nothing and it's very wearing, especially with my bloody HM in situ.

Hi BF you ask about things that bring comfort when the depression hits us. I suppose for me it is laptopping (MN has got me through many a dark hour, because I am interacting without the stress of someone seeing me with red eyes and blotchy face. The other thing I find calming is knitting (I'm not great at it but am knitting "Trauma Teddies" for children in the African sub-continent, and a blanket now and again. My sister knits loads of blankets (all white) for SANDS (and when a baby is stillborn the hospital have special boxes and they like to line them with a knitted white blanket (very delicate) and the parents can keep it as a memory box and put in whatever is right for them. Not all parents want this box and blanket but many do apparently and the person I am in touch with at SANDS says sadly they need as many of these blankets as they can get. My sister also knits for children in the Congo and other war torn countries.

I also find colouring very relaxing. I get adult's colouring books from Amazon and some really posh felt tips and once i start something I have to finish it so it is a good distraction. I also use a journal and sometimes pour out all my thoughts to the book and this helps. I have always found writing things down helpful.

Oh and BF thank you for reminding us that it isn't safe to post photos of ourselves (not that I'd have the foggiest how to do it) especially people working in public services, so sorry Vicar for asking you to post a photo.

Ah well not a god day here, hope others have had a better day. You sounded like you were on a roll Ed and thank you Stevie for your kind words. How did the night out go Vicar Love to all

ThatVikRinA22 Sun 03-Feb-13 20:21:47

hi all - loads of posts since yesterday! im really glad that everyone found the new thread and equally glad that we have more people joining in. smile

basset i just want to say im so pleased to read that your DH had a good result on his bloods. Thats fantastic -long may that continue.

well ive not been on today simply because i have been at the stables all day.

last night was actually really nice - i met some lovely new people, i was actually very chatty (on a refreshingly superficial level!) and met a lady who has a pub near us so we are going to go and book a meal there and say hi....

the meal was really very nice and there was a DJ and disco so i didnt have to reveal or talk too much to anyone after the meal - i bought a bottle of wine, and i danced, i wasn't going to dance but the lovely lady i was sat next to kept dragging me up and even DH came to dance) and it was nice to just forget myself for the night, and i scrubbed up ok. grin
my feet are killing me from last night, we didnt get to bed until very late, (about 3am) and then i was up early for riding.

i spent the entire day at the stables and today i did my first proper canter....my balance is improving and im starting to get a "secure seat" in the saddle, all hail to my wonderful instructor - i never thought i would get it! (she steadfastly refuses to let me progress until i find my balance and develop a good seat) but boy o boy am i going to ache tomorrow.....she really really worked me today and she took my stirrups off me - it worked a treat, i finally managed sitting trot and canter without boinging about like zepidee (and lovely instructor wont allow that as it hurts the horse) so im very pleased. I then stayed and helped with kiddie lessons, untacked horses, mucked out and scrubbed/filled water buckets.

My legs are aching now....i wont be able to get out of bed tomorrow....(but i have to as the work on the garden starts tomorrow...) ive had a radox bath but not sure its helped. Its a good thing the garden starts tomorrow as DH is taking the car meaning i could have stayed in bed as DD will need to walk to bus stop....

I love chatting to everyone on here and draw great comfort from it - ed makes me feel less guilty when i do have a duvet day but helles chivvies us along and she is right - i always feel worse if i do stay in bed, but every now and then i let myself off....and i love talking with everyone else, everyone is so wise and lovely.

incidentally i am having some real problems with tremor lately, its not all the time but when it starts it s really noticeable. I was thinking it must be the sertraline....

basset im going to have a think about music/books/poetry/ films etc that lift my spirits...i have very eclectic taste.

Who was it who said they witter? i think thats all i do but it helps.
right. off to watch a bit of tv, have a glass of wine and read my magazine i think.

be back tomorrow if not before....gnite all. x

TheSilveryPussycat Sun 03-Feb-13 20:42:03

vicar sounds like you've had a lovely time, so glad. My problem with canter is I couldn't make my horse break into one...

nina I never said how pleased I was that your Irish trip went went - perhaps HM (if even there with you) was admiring the view wink

blush I got up late, but for good reason blush then made porridge for me and a friend...

TheSilveryPussycat Sun 03-Feb-13 20:42:58

*went well

HellesBelles396 Sun 03-Feb-13 21:01:47

I will not ask silvery wink

So pleased your night out went well vicar - does it give you a bit more confidence for future nights out? Would it work for you to have a notebook where you write down things that have gone well (and nothing else!!)? I did it a couple of times but on word docs and, when I've gone back to them, I've had my spirits lifted as everything adds up quite quickly and, when i'm down, I forget that I've ever done anything good.

I felt bad today at church. we were having a local arrangement service which means that there is no minister or preacher but the service is led by worship leaders with input from all of us. One of the others said that you can tell if someone has opened their heart to God/Jesus you can see the love shining from them and they do loving things for others without realising. I know neither is the case with me and I felt like a fraud sitting there surrounded by people who I can see love shining from. I haven't felt bad at church before. A bit shameful at times (which I don't consider a bad thing when coming to God) but not like this.

Otherwise, I've had a good day though I seem to have ground to halt now. Dishes (only a few to do) and bed I think.

Night all.

TheSilveryPussycat Sun 03-Feb-13 21:11:46

But that's it exactly! They do loving things without realising, like ordering people about making firm suggestions on threads...

ThatVikRinA22 Sun 03-Feb-13 21:30:41

somehow i missed nanas post confused
im sorry HM was alive and kicking this morning....hope you have a better day tomorrow. I try to cut DH some slack while im like this - i realise its probably not that easy to live with. Sounds like your DP really is sorry thought nana though understand its hard when you keep going around in circles....

silvery - that sound like a reason we could let you off!

helles - you daft bat. (meant lovingly obviously)

you come on here and you talk sense, and you chivvy us up and you make us all remember that there are positives and you even list them! and you make me feel better - but you do this without realising. do you see?
You most certainly do not need to feel bad at church. You reach out and speak to total strangers on the internet and they listen, and you make them feel better and you give advice and tips on how to get by....

you dont have to do it. but you do. And you inspire us to do things that change our day...

i reckon God would be pretty pleased at that. smile

HellesBelles396 Sun 03-Feb-13 21:35:01

Slightly crying - but in a good way. You're very kind - both of you thanks

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