Mumsnet Talk

I have an appointment with the doctor on Monday and I will be asking for antidepressants. When I originally saw the doctor a couple of weeks ago I declined them as I thought I would get better without the stress of work but I've only got worse.

For those who may not know (and have been lucky enough to miss my millions of threads detailing my latest problems) my mum died in November. I was handling it ok until January, now I'm completely unable to cope at all. I've just cried for half an hour because I learned her next door neighbour died today. My mum and the neighbour were good friends.

Recently, I've found myself looking at random people while I'm out and I can't help thinking "That person could die right now, or when they get home, or they might not wake up in the morning." It is bothering me that I am having these thoughts.

I've been off work for three weeks and my depression score has worsened according to the counsellor I've been seeing. I feel guilty for wanting to ask the doctor to extend my sicknote but when I was in work, I couldn't concentrate. I kept wanting to tell people that none of the things they're stressed about in work actually matter because my mum is dead. Then I would get upset thinking about her being dead and I'd cry. Not good when I'm supposed to be working.

Good on you, stickem. It takes courage to admit you need help and it won't be forever. Good luck on Monday. xx