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Anyone else rarely leave the house?

(17 Posts)
Middy86 Sat 02-Feb-13 00:37:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag Sat 02-Feb-13 00:08:38

shock sorry again for that being so long! blush

AgentZigzag Sat 02-Feb-13 00:07:54

A lot of what you've said is similar to how I feel too.

I don't think at first glance you could tell how Being Outside affects me, but inside I'm turned up to 11 on the anxiety amplifier.

Even though at times I can rationalise it (and almost be aggressive in my head about it 'I don't give a fuck what you think of me' kind of thing) I read about the Spotlight effect somewhere, and it fits me to a tee.

For some reason I'm concerned about what other people think of me, even if I know I'll never see them again or what they think really doesn't matter.

Some of mine I can lay at the door of my family, I was brought up to be ultra emotionally controlled in public, and see going out as like sitting in a quiet church service where every behaviour which isn't quiet/the norm, is the focus for everyone's attention. Someone sneezes or says something loud in church and everyone turns round, and it feels like that going out, that I want to be inconspicuous and can't handle the risk of something unpredictable happening when I go out because I won't be able to think quickly enough to deal with it, or be able to cope with the humiliation of the attention.

Don't know if that's coming across as garbled rubbish? grin It's the first time I've put it into words, but I know it's limiting and it's concerning you've not been out for so long Middy.

I try to deal with it by wearing sunglasses and putting my earphones (with industrial metal music to give me a bit of confidence grin) in, to cut myself off from what can be a really distressing situation. Could anything similar make you feel less stressed about the glare of the outside?

You going to uni in September is a good goal for you to focus on, there definitely is help out there, but I would say if you're going through the GP, it's going to be very specific and you'd need to wait to get seen? (only going on my own experience and don't know that for sure)

I don't know what kinds of things there are out there to help, but could you have a look at any forums which deal with agoraphobia? It's probably a bit of a lame suggestion, but what about self help books? Understanding yourself can go a long way to finding the root of how to start to deal with things like this.

Sorry it's so long, but most importantly, you need to find a way of getting help for feeling suicidal. I know that's difficult if you find contact with other people nigh on impossible, but you have to start some small steps soon, because if that's the extent of what this is doing to you, it's something which can't be ignored.

Can you splice something together with your DH? Would you be comfortable with him talking to your doctor?

annach Fri 01-Feb-13 15:05:02

Hi, joining in. Same here. Go out if I have to. I know fresh air and exercise would improve my mood, but I just watch the world from inside the house. It's weird. i feel so lethargic and dopey. If I do go out it feels odd talking to people because I'm not used to chatting with anyone other than DC and DH.

Blackden Thu 31-Jan-13 11:08:57

Hello Middy, how are you feeling today? Did you go back to the GP?

I am similar. Mine's not agoraphobia, I just can't get up the enthusiasm to leave the house. It definitely makes me feel worse though if I don't get some fresh air and a bit of daylight.

Let us know how you're doing.

ChocolateCoins Wed 30-Jan-13 14:01:50

Morning sickness not Koenig sickness!

ChocolateCoins Wed 30-Jan-13 14:00:57

I agree with the other posters who have said the longer you leave it, the harder it is.

I'm the same. Not agoraphobic as when I go out I am 'fine' but just can't make myself go out. Its been made worse by the fact that I'm pregnant and had really bad Koenig sickness which made me housebound for about two months. I had started to get better but those two months have ruined all the progress I made. I feel sorry for my toddler as I never take her anywhere.

The antidepressants will take a while to work. You need to keep taking them. I find it easier to go out when I'm going out fr a reason that can't avoided if that makes sense? For example if DD had a doctors appointment. Is there any situation you could put yourself in to make yourself go out? Like running out of milk? So you'd have to go to the shop? That's quite a bad example but do you know what I mean?

Dolallytats Wed 30-Jan-13 12:24:36

I am agoraphobic. I feel panicky and anxious when I leave the house (which I have to do to take my DS to/from school and to appts as I am pregnant) so I am different to you in that respect. However, I also think that the longer you stay in the harder it is to get out. It feels like way too much effort.

The difference with me is I really WANT to go out. I am a fairly sociable person and staring at the four walls all day is depressing. I am so scared of going out, but the thought of being stuck in for years is also scary. I haven't figured out what one is scarier yet. My pregnancy is making the anxiety worse and this is making the agoraphbia worse...a really fun vicious circle!!!!

I don't really know what would work for you, but it does sound like you might benefit from some kind of counselling (possibly CBT). The hard bit is getting the 'get up and go', so to speak, to do something about it.

I hope you do.

purplecushion Wed 30-Jan-13 10:12:14

oops sad

purplecushion Wed 30-Jan-13 10:11:33

Hi Middy, I have the same problem as you. I only go out when I have to as well. I wish there was a cure for being like this so we could all function properly. [SAD]

Middy86 Tue 29-Jan-13 21:22:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Unfortunatlyanxious Tue 29-Jan-13 20:51:59

I have hardly left the house for over a month, I usually work Mon to Fri and go out Saturday and Sunday as well.I agree I am not agoraphobic , just really scared. What of I am not sure either. Just starting treatment and hoping it helps because I worry about my job, being a decent wife and Mother and also part of society again. I also usually do voluntary work. It is like a half life currently.

ChocolateCoins Tue 29-Jan-13 20:50:09

I have a similar problem. Can't post properly at the moment but marking my place.

Crawling Tue 29-Jan-13 20:30:22

I know what you mean about being alone. If Ypu speak to your gp he may prescribe a higher dose?

Middy86 Tue 29-Jan-13 20:20:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crawling Tue 29-Jan-13 20:17:10

Im the same I go out because I have to but only for school run and shopping. When I was ill before dc I didnt go out for months at a time. Its hard you have my sympathy in a way having dc has helped because now I have to go out and do the school run and by being forced I dont deteriorate as badly. I know it sounds bad but try to force yourself out even if its only for 5 mins it helps and stops the spiraling down.

Middy86 Tue 29-Jan-13 19:24:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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