Note: Mumsnet has not checked the knowledge, experience or professional qualifications of anyone posting on Mumsnet Talk, so this is not necessarily the best place to seek help if you're feeling seriously distressed or suicidal. Mumsnet cannot be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice and support.

why is depresion such a taboo...

(59 Posts)
pud1 Mon 28-Jan-13 11:58:17

i know this will have been done a thousand times but i just wanted to get the general feeling on why people just dont talk about mh.

i am a very open person ( probably too much) and i have just been put on fluxotene ( dont know the spelling) for mild depression. it has been a wonder. i feel so much better and it has started a snowball of things getting better in my life, i am not as stressed with the dcs so they are calmer, my relationship has improved beyond measure and i am actually known to crack a smile now. since i have been on them i have talked to friends and family about it and have been amazed by the amount of people who are either on them or have been feeling as low as i was. we would not be embarrassed about telling people we take anti-biotics for a physical illness so why not talk about ads in rl.

as i said sorry if this has been done before.

I don't have the feeling it's a taboo, at all. But then I was lucky to grow up in a home environment where we talked freely and honestly about such things when and if the subject arose, so maybe my view is skewed.
But just as people don't go on endlessly about their physical illnesses, you don't go on about depression, but neither would you hesitate to mention it if it were relevant......at least, I doubt you would avoid it for the reason of a potential unfriendly reaction. Because I very much doubt you would get one. It's just not an interesting topic of conversation- problems, so that's why it's not more talked about IMHO.
Agree with springbanana (apart from the last bit- don't want to worship anyone just for being healthy, thanks!).

Tensixtysix Sat 02-Feb-13 19:17:16

It's because deep down they have it as well and can only deal with theirs.

annach Fri 01-Feb-13 15:13:40

I'm glad you started this thread.
I've often wondered the same thing.
But actually, serious illness, physical or mental, is some sort of taboo generally, isn't it? No one wants to hear how ill someone else is, or how difficult illness makes their life. Generally, people don't want others to offload and whine at them because they're only just keeping their own heads above surface, whether they're ill or not, and haven't the surplus energy or empathy to take on anyone else's woes.
Serious physical illness does sometimes change people's personality too. It can make them grumpy or drowsy or dopey or whiney. It's hard work being close to sick people.
But there is a taboo over and above all this. I'm sick of it. Wished today i could ring up a friend and just say: tablets seem to have stopped working and I feel like mud. But we're all on here instead, telling strangers.

WithanAnotE Wed 30-Jan-13 08:22:58

My boss laughed when I said I was still attending therapy during my 'return to work' interview angry. I felt totally humiliated. HR staff were also appalling, as in, get rid quick shock.
I suspect that the, "news" has also been leaked........
Fortunately, my friends have been great.
I agree though with the poster that said it can affect personality. It can be a little daunting when people you know act differently or hallucinate. And, to be fair, it can be very hard work too.

Crawling Tue 29-Jan-13 20:41:05

Thats very very true amillionyears

amillionyears Tue 29-Jan-13 20:31:30

I think a lot of people care in life. Trouble is, it is difficult to tell who, until they are tested out.

Crawling Tue 29-Jan-13 20:00:25

I also dont think most people would be interested its like my endometriosis I doubt anyone but close family cares.

Crawling Tue 29-Jan-13 19:54:42

I also view my mh as private im not going to just walk up to someone and say I have scizoaffective disorder ask me how it effects my life.

Plus I really am struggeling so much with the severity of my own mi that I just cant take negative opinions. Its not worth the risk.

stephrick Tue 29-Jan-13 19:24:39

DP passed away four and a half years ago, haven't been back for three and a half years, I live in a village so no choice, I could go to the town practice but all the GP's visited the home, bereavement counselling was a bust, especially for my youngest DS who was 10 at the time, he kept calling Ds by the wrong name, I ended it after the second session, this was a hospice counsellor.

Spero Tue 29-Jan-13 19:16:25

I was a bit alarmed to hear that spring thinks the 'affected' will be rounded up and sent away... As far as I can see we all have problems. My mental health is excellent but I have a physical disability. Not so long ago I would indeed have been 'sent away'.

Things are getting better. Not that long ago people were shut away in institutions. There is much more understanding and better treatment now. I have found people quite happy to admit they are taking or have taken ads. It's a high proportion of people I know.

spanky2 England Tue 29-Jan-13 19:12:04

Stephrick I think you should see a different more sympathetic gp. Maybe get some bereavement counselling . I am really sorry for your loss it must have been a terrible time .thanks

spanky2 England Tue 29-Jan-13 19:09:55

I did the depression quiz and won the prize!grin

stephrick Tue 29-Jan-13 19:07:28

I had depression after my partner passed away, I knew what it was but didn't go to my doctor until a year later, the GP made me do a depression quiz, he asked me questions and the right response would win a prize of anti despressants. Still depressed, after my experience with gp very reluctant to go back, the worse thing was he came to our home when DP was in last stages of cancer.

Someone demanding the right to feel ashamed is a new one on me.

I won't tell you not to feel ashamed just, but some of what you say is why I detest "Personality disorder" diagnoses as the very term suggests that someone, somehow is defective as a person's personality is who they are.

Frankly the DSM has a lot to answer for and I strongly believe that it's time they looked again at that group of conditions and did a better job at defining and categorising them. Borderline personality disorder, for example has a lot of traits similar to PTSD and depression, but the name does nothing to define how complex a condition it can be.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 18:37:01

Yes amillion that's exactly what I mean.

thanks

amillionyears Tue 29-Jan-13 18:30:35

I think what Just is dislikinging is the bit where MrsW said "they shouldnt feel ashamed and neither should I."

And Just feels that MrsW is telling Just how she should feel.

But I think MrsW means that "they shouldnt feel the need to be ashamed amd neither should I because society shouldnt make people feel that way".

Apologies to MrsW, if that is not what she means, and apologies to Just if she doesnt like me trying to sort things out here.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:49:02

You have been very nasty.

Best to leave it. You clearly are being obtuse or are determined to misread my posts.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:48:24

I don't understand how you think I'm being unpleasant! confused

Do you not agree we don't need to say or hide anything we dont want to?

JustAHolyFool Tue 29-Jan-13 17:48:19

So you keep saying. Let's just leave it.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:46:55

How was it patronising? You DO have a choice.

JustAHolyFool Tue 29-Jan-13 17:46:43

And so was yours.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:46:25

I'm actually sat here really upset at that last message from you Just

Very uncalled for and unpleasant.

JustAHolyFool Tue 29-Jan-13 17:45:55

And yours was patronising and I don't like that.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:45:22

Please don't be so aggressive Just I don't like it.

It's not patronising to point out that you have a choice and a right to exercise that choice.

We are all here for support so there's no need to be aggressive. Your message was nasty and there was no need.

You don't HAVE to say anything you don't want to just like you don't HAVE to hide it if you don't want to.

amillionyears Tue 29-Jan-13 17:40:40

JustAHolyFool
I think it is up to the individual who they choose to tell.
Just as with the people who get depression, who are all different, so it is with those who havent [yet] got depression.

But I agree with Keema, that those who feel able to be more open about it, I think, helps society as a whole.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now