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why is depresion such a taboo...

(59 Posts)
pud1 Mon 28-Jan-13 11:58:17

i know this will have been done a thousand times but i just wanted to get the general feeling on why people just dont talk about mh.

i am a very open person ( probably too much) and i have just been put on fluxotene ( dont know the spelling) for mild depression. it has been a wonder. i feel so much better and it has started a snowball of things getting better in my life, i am not as stressed with the dcs so they are calmer, my relationship has improved beyond measure and i am actually known to crack a smile now. since i have been on them i have talked to friends and family about it and have been amazed by the amount of people who are either on them or have been feeling as low as i was. we would not be embarrassed about telling people we take anti-biotics for a physical illness so why not talk about ads in rl.

as i said sorry if this has been done before.

JustAHolyFool Tue 29-Jan-13 17:08:46

OK, but all this "should" and "shouldn't" is not really helpful. People can't help how they feel and I'm a bit sick of my illness being politicised.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:15:25

I have said twice that I understand why you feel like that as I do too.

We shouldnt though. Do you see?

How is that politicing? I should not be made to feel ashamed. I should not be stereotyped. I should not have to conceal my illness. I should not be told I am not 'the future' and I certainly won't bloody "worship" someone for being lucky enough not to have mh hmm (I know it wasn't you that said that.

If you do choose to conceal your illness then that's fine if that's your choice you shouldn't have to though. There's a huge difference.

Glad to hear you sounding so much more positive MrsW smile

I've had depression on and off since I was 15 and am bipolar. It doesn't define me as a person, but it is part of my life and something I need to manage.

I wish that people would be more open about it. I know more people who have died through suicide due to MH problems than all other illnesses put together - quite often young men and women who haven't felt able to talk about what is going on in their head.

No, I don't walk into a room and go "Good morning, my name is Keema and I have bipolar", but if someone asks me why I've been off work or how I am doing then I am open about it.

Being able to talk about it to people is one of the reasons why I am still alive despite just going through an extreme period of severe depression.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:22:11

Thanks Keema and thanks for all your support following my diagnosis.

I think I've got my head around it now almost !

MoodyDidIt Tue 29-Jan-13 17:24:07

am glad you are feeling better OP

i have been on ADs for a year and hardly anyone knows as i worry people will think i am weird or something sad yet the irony is, as 1 in 4 suffer from mental health problems, many of my friends could be on them too.

so, no, no idea why its such a taboo but wish it wasnt

JustAHolyFool Tue 29-Jan-13 17:26:25

MrsW, no I DON'T see.

I am ashamed and I am made to feel more ashamed by people who demand that we should be honest in order to break taboos.

amillionyears Tue 29-Jan-13 17:26:25

springbanana.
I can understand that a person with say depression may feel a bit better being around people who are upbeat. It may lift their mood a little. And comedy programmes can be good for that as well.

I also understand that, in the same way as heamoroids, it is not really necessary to tell the whole world if a person has depression.

But, tbh, you sound a little unwell.
Currently, I think there are about 33% who have been, or who will be on ADs in their life. And it is a pretty safe bet, that that will include current MPs, teachers, hospital staff etc etc. They dont need to be carted away.

Do you know that people who have depression, can get well again?

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:33:57

Just you have not read my posts.

Do you not see that I am saying that if you CHOOSE to keep it a secret that's fine but you shouldn't HAVE to. There is a huge difference.

I am really baffled that you think you are being "demanded" to be honest. It's about choice. I can't put it any more simpler than that.

JustAHolyFool Tue 29-Jan-13 17:40:10

God, could you be any more patronising. Get over yourself.

amillionyears Tue 29-Jan-13 17:40:40

JustAHolyFool
I think it is up to the individual who they choose to tell.
Just as with the people who get depression, who are all different, so it is with those who havent [yet] got depression.

But I agree with Keema, that those who feel able to be more open about it, I think, helps society as a whole.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:45:22

Please don't be so aggressive Just I don't like it.

It's not patronising to point out that you have a choice and a right to exercise that choice.

We are all here for support so there's no need to be aggressive. Your message was nasty and there was no need.

You don't HAVE to say anything you don't want to just like you don't HAVE to hide it if you don't want to.

JustAHolyFool Tue 29-Jan-13 17:45:55

And yours was patronising and I don't like that.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:46:25

I'm actually sat here really upset at that last message from you Just

Very uncalled for and unpleasant.

JustAHolyFool Tue 29-Jan-13 17:46:43

And so was yours.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:46:55

How was it patronising? You DO have a choice.

JustAHolyFool Tue 29-Jan-13 17:48:19

So you keep saying. Let's just leave it.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:48:24

I don't understand how you think I'm being unpleasant! confused

Do you not agree we don't need to say or hide anything we dont want to?

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 17:49:02

You have been very nasty.

Best to leave it. You clearly are being obtuse or are determined to misread my posts.

amillionyears Tue 29-Jan-13 18:30:35

I think what Just is dislikinging is the bit where MrsW said "they shouldnt feel ashamed and neither should I."

And Just feels that MrsW is telling Just how she should feel.

But I think MrsW means that "they shouldnt feel the need to be ashamed amd neither should I because society shouldnt make people feel that way".

Apologies to MrsW, if that is not what she means, and apologies to Just if she doesnt like me trying to sort things out here.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 18:37:01

Yes amillion that's exactly what I mean.

thanks

Someone demanding the right to feel ashamed is a new one on me.

I won't tell you not to feel ashamed just, but some of what you say is why I detest "Personality disorder" diagnoses as the very term suggests that someone, somehow is defective as a person's personality is who they are.

Frankly the DSM has a lot to answer for and I strongly believe that it's time they looked again at that group of conditions and did a better job at defining and categorising them. Borderline personality disorder, for example has a lot of traits similar to PTSD and depression, but the name does nothing to define how complex a condition it can be.

stephrick Tue 29-Jan-13 19:07:28

I had depression after my partner passed away, I knew what it was but didn't go to my doctor until a year later, the GP made me do a depression quiz, he asked me questions and the right response would win a prize of anti despressants. Still depressed, after my experience with gp very reluctant to go back, the worse thing was he came to our home when DP was in last stages of cancer.

spanky2 Tue 29-Jan-13 19:09:55

I did the depression quiz and won the prize!grin

spanky2 Tue 29-Jan-13 19:12:04

Stephrick I think you should see a different more sympathetic gp. Maybe get some bereavement counselling . I am really sorry for your loss it must have been a terrible time .thanks

Spero Tue 29-Jan-13 19:16:25

I was a bit alarmed to hear that spring thinks the 'affected' will be rounded up and sent away... As far as I can see we all have problems. My mental health is excellent but I have a physical disability. Not so long ago I would indeed have been 'sent away'.

Things are getting better. Not that long ago people were shut away in institutions. There is much more understanding and better treatment now. I have found people quite happy to admit they are taking or have taken ads. It's a high proportion of people I know.

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