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How to deal with/help my neighbour?

(3 Posts)
NewPatchesForOld Fri 25-Jan-13 11:05:23

I have a new neighbour, moved in a few months ago. He frequently wakes DS up in the middle of the night, screaming and swearing, punching walls and doors etc. He lives alone with just his dog.
We've spoken a few times, and he's a nice guy, he did mention that he was ill and was having problems and apologised for any noise we nmight hear.
Last night he went off on one again, screaming abuse at his dog, threw her out in the garden...I went out (it's a shared courtyard) and saw him pick the dog up and throw her...I shouted at him to stop, and he started effing and blinding (about the dog, not directed at me) and then went indoors slamming the door. Oh, I asked himto stop swearing as my dc were there too.

A few minutes later he was at my back door, apologising. He said he has bi polar, adhd, insomnia...he had a breakdown a while ago. he was crying, saying his mother is in a psychiatric hospital, his exw had an affair with his brother, that he couldn't pay the rent on his house and the boiler was broken and he had no heating and the house was freezing...I asked him if there was any way I could help him and he said no...there was nothing anyone could do for him, and that moving here was supposed to be a fresh start but it had all gone wrong etc...

I like the guy, and hate to see someone so unhappy. But I am also mindful that I am on my own with 3 children, and have no experience of bi polar or adhd...what can I do, if anything, to help him?

I apologise for my ignorance of the condition; given his rage and violence (against his dog, and obviously his house) would I be putting myself and my dc in any kind of danger by offering help to him?

he seems to be teetering on the edge.

Thanks

Crawling Fri 25-Jan-13 12:32:35

I have bipolar while I suffer hyporage I have never hurt anyone. Sadly the only way to help him is to be a good friend and listen with a unjudgemental ear. Personally I dont agree with his treatment of the dog I have never gone beyond smashing the house up, which can be scary for other people. But I think its wrong to hit a dog while I have attempted to provoke partners into hitting me so I may hit back Ive never hit someone unless they hit me first.

He sounds very unwell and needs to phone his cpn and get his meds adjusted but I wouldnt recommend telling him this as he sounds manic and may get aggressive to the suggestion. As a neighbour and not family I recommend waiting and if you think he gets to the point where he is a danger to himself or others call a ambulance and explain he has bipolar and his behaviour. I HTH.

NewPatchesForOld Fri 25-Jan-13 13:07:57

Thanks Crawling that does help. I did listen to him last night, but it was very difficult as he was spilling all this information out one after another without even taking a breath, the DC were there and he was standing in the snow in my garden, pacing up and down, and kicking the ground.

The dog thing does really upset me, and also the DC, who all love animals. She is only a little thing, and I've seen her cowering in the garden before him. he said he's had her 3 years and it's only since moving here she has started doing her business in the house...I'm not surprised with him having these rages she must be terrified.

I also feel for him so much. he seems so alone, he has no heating in his house, can't pay his rent, never has anyone to visit.

I feel pretty helpless tbh.

x

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