Mumsnet Talk

I don't have a social worker, I'm a fully functioning member of society with a responsible job. My sister would take my animals and I expect my mum would go into a home. This will not cause me any problems because when you are dead you are dead. I'm not unhappy because I have responsibilities, after all others have far more burdensome responsibilities. I'm just not disposed to happiness. It is okay, I've accepted that. I just wondered if others had too, or if they buy into this myth that everyone who would like to die is somehow ill.

Ok, I have a wonderful friend who feels like you do now. She is a highly functioning, professional, mother of two. She is having similar feelings to you, and has been for sometime. She is ill. I think you are too.

If your mum will end up going into a home after you've 'gome' amd you are 'ok' woth that the why don't you get your mum a social worker and say you need her to go in to one now? That way you can get a break without breaking your mums heart? And if/when you are able you can step back into the breach?

I am worried that you have some delersonalisation (I have another friend who had this?) where he was almost watching his life rather than live it? I do think you need to escalate things and find out what support is available, give it a few weeks of your mum getting respite and see how you feel then? How might you do that?

I have seen a psychologist and he agreed there is nothing wrong with me, as have the CPN and graduate mental health worker. The first time you start to feel like this you do wonder where it has come from. Later you realise that actually, you've had a terrific idea and it isn't wrong to think that checking out is best. Your friend has children, it would be a sad thing if she were to die.

I'm okay with what may happen after I die because I won't be here. The dead don't do guilt, the living do in spades.

Did you tell they psychologist you are power pointing work and killing yourself on Monday? (if I've got that right?)

You need to live for you dude. Get you back. I don't know how to do that, I think you are really fucking tired,and when yiu've had a break you can see how the land lies? How can you get help for your mum? Who can help her get the care she needs?

You can talk about this in RL and I think that you need to, desperately.

Dude, I have to go to bed now. I will come back to your thread tomorrow morning. And we can try pro-active sorting stuff out for your mum. I'll google stuff and you can make calls to try get some respite?
Then give it a week or so, see how you feel then?
If you feel worse overnight then you must call someone, even 999.
I will check you out on here in the morning? Get some rest if you can.

I agree with what others are writing on here.
You need a break. That actually may be all you need.
You can then come back to your mum and cats.