Im running out of ways to keep myself together... Really stressful times!

[Dinkysmummy]

I apologise this might be a little long...

I don't even know where to start...

I have a DD who is 5 next month, she is my entire world. I wasn't even sure I wanted children because I was abused as a kid and didn't want to end up like my mother or not being able to protect my child from all the nutcases out there. DD was the best 'mistake' I ever made! I wouldn't be without her now.
The situation at the moment is as follows

We've been in a hostel for almost 9 months after being made homeless by a 'friend'. It's a family hostel, so no druggies or alcoholics (unless you count the woman next door who has a DS who is 15 and gets through a bottle of wine a night) but all the other mums have children under school age and don't consider my DD has to get up at 6.30 to go to school, and play loud music, or talk on their phones right outside our room. The woman downstairs shouts down the phone from 6-11pm. It is starting to drive me more bonkers than I am already!

My DD has just been put on the SEN register for BED (behavioural and emotional difficulties) and the school are going to do a CAF form next Friday. She has also been seeing the play therapist since November. I've had to see the deputy head (who is really lovely), her class teacher, and the play therapist this week and its only Wednesday! Yesterday was the first time since going back after the break my DD hasn't had a meltdown when I've had to leave and that was only because the deputy head came into the classroom to read to her as I was leaving.

Yesterday I got m appointment for the breast ultrasound and fine needle aspiration next Tuesday but the appointment is after school and I tend to isolate myself so have no one to watch DD, and I don't think I can take her with me because of the BED. So I'm frustrated because I am trying to find an alternative and worried about the appointment itself. I tried to rearrange but was told the consultant doesn't work mornings (alright for some!) and from my notes the consultant needs to be around when I have the ultrasound done, also it would be best to do it sooner rather than later. I haven't really worried too much as I'm only 26 and the chances of BC are low, but that comment yesterday worried me a little.

I would talk to my CMHN (community mental health nurse) but I stopped seeing her in early December because she can be very rude and makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. I'm still waiting to ear back from CMHT about seeing someone else. I need to see someone else because she was supposed to be formulating a preliminary diagnosis. So far, apparently it's been on my record for years I might have PTSD but the CMHN was starting to think I had a mood disorder too.

My dds grandma (fathers side) is a complete pain in the backside and messes my dd about when it comes to visits and my dd gets really upset about it.

I feel like my MH problems have increased my dds problems. Especially the mood thing, which I would begrudgingly have to admit the CMHN might be right about. I feel I'm being pushed from all different angles and I'm suffocating. I feel like I'm about to explode or implode!

It's just too much...

Sorry I just needed somewhere where people can understand how hard it is to be a parent with MH issues....

[susanann]

Oh Dinky you really are going through it arent you! Im so sorry youre going through all this. You are obviously an intelligent caring person and doing the best you can for dd. I think you did well to stand up for yourself with the CMHN, you sound like youre pretty strong! Re your appointment Im not sure what to suggest. Could you not take dd with you and offer her treat afterwards if she behaves? Sorry if this is not appropriate, I really dont know much about BED.
Your living conditions are obviously not helping you or dd but I assume youre stuck with that for now. Where is dds father in all this?

[Dinkysmummy]

Thanks,

Well, the school have said she is BED to put something on the SEN register, they want CAMHS to hurry up and do something and see what dd's problems are and get a proper dx so they can put proper plans and support in place that correspond with the dx. I must admit I am so lucky with dd's school, they have been awesome! I didn't think there was a major issue and put most of it down to the situation we are in but apparently she is displaying sign of other difficulties which is why they need CAMHS to separate what is homeless related and what is possibly a 'special need'. High functioning Autism and other behavioural/social problems have been mentioned.

My dd's behavioural problems include being hyperactive, over curious, disruptive, aggressive, and tantrums. she was at the urgent treatment centre last week because a horse bit her hand. She had a meltdown when I told her she couldn't see the x ray of her hand. The radiographer was nice and let her go behind the shield and showed her that the slate had the picture and he scanned it, then her hand appeared on the screen. In the docs room after she managed to delete something on the computer while the nurse was in there. And had to be shown what was in the cupboards. She fell off the docs spinning chair as she said she would only let them do the dressing if she could sit on it. I dread taking her back to our doctors surgery because she broke the needle on the scales, ripped the curtain that goes around the bed and constantly interrupted while I was talking to the doctor. That is how she got her CAMHS referral lol!

I can just imagine the carnage! I love my dd so much but she can't come with me! I'm gong to get onto the childminder after 11 (Wednesday is childminder coffee morning at the children's centre.)

My dd's father, well, when I told him I was pregnant he said he wished I hadnt told him and that he wasn't interested. He stuck to it. He even told lots of people she wasn't his. I hadn't involved the CSA to that point but got them involved just to remind him that our dd is around. He denied paternity and the DNA test obviously came back positive. He owed my dd £13,468 in December.

It's a bit of a crazy situation.

Thanks for replying x

[susanann]

Are CSA pursuing him for the money? Hope you manage to get something sorted for your appointment. Your dds school sound very supportive, thats great. Good luck!

[Dinkysmummy]

Yes CSA are pursuing, but everytime they catch him, he does a runner...
I have managed to sort something, it's not ideal but one of the parents is going to pick her up and bring her to the hospital, hopefully by the time they get there I will be all done!
The school are fantastic, I doubt I would have got the same level of help from any other school in the area!
Thank you

[susanann]

surely the CSA can do better!? Hope the appointment goes well.