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Anti-Ds blocking normal emotions

(10 Posts)

I'm hoping some people with experience of anti depressants/depression can maybe advise me.

My DH has been suffering from depression for a while now - probably at least 18 months but quite possibly since our DD (2.5) was born. He finally went to a GP in August, was originally put on Prozac which were a nightmare due to the nightmares and side effects, so the GP switched him to a new one. I think it's Cetalopram but I wouldn't swear to it!

Anyway, after a bumpy couple of months of him being a grumpy git (not his fault I know) I realised he was constantly forgetting to take his pills. I've now sorted that out and he's taking them regularly. And I had noticed that he just seems very flat - no emotion, no excitement, quite lazy and unenthusiastic etc.

This has really been highlighted over the last week or so. Our cat is missing. He normally adores our pets, is very cuddly with them and has been very upset when previous pets have passed away. We don't know what has happened to our cat but she has been gone over a week and he has shown literally zero response whatsoever. I finally tackled him about this last night and he admitted he feels absolutely nothing at all. Literally, he feels zip.

I'm wondering if he should be going back and looking at getting his meds adjusted? I know they are supposed to limit the lows, but is it normal for 'grief' to be blocked like this? I know there are lots of people who wouldn't get upset by a pet being lost, but he really isn't one of them normally. It feels like they have limited his emotions too much, if that makes sense?

Sorry for the essay, I am finding his depression quite hard to live with and don't really have anyone I can talk to. I feel so lonely sad

Crawling Sun 30-Dec-12 19:07:38

I have to say I feel the same as your dp but I believe it to be that the meds have lifted me from very depressed to minor depression and its too painful to feel the emotions so I cut off feeling about painful things like a cat going missing and focus on this self centred pitying of myself rather than meds causing numbness iyswim. In minor depression I also lose interest in things feel no excitement or major emotion I just feel empty and alone I related quite well to your description of your dp but I don't think its the meds I hth.
I'm really sorry you are struggling with this I know it must be hard sometimes I wonder would I rather be me or dp dealing with depressed partner and I honestly can't decide.

strawberry17 Sun 30-Dec-12 19:10:25

I think you mean Citalopram and after years of taking them and now years tapering off I can tell you that yes for many people, and I'm one of them, they can totally blunt and numb your emotions. When my father in law passed away from cancer a few years ago, I felt nothing and I hated that, I'm not sure adjusting meds or doses will help. I think it's a case of working out what's acceptable for your husband, if they are alleviating his depression he might decide that he can live with some numbness. If they're not touching his depression though it might be worth a rethink. Depression is the pits for people with it, and for people living with people with it sad

Crawling Sun 30-Dec-12 19:17:16

oh and I hope you find your cat.

Thanks, it's useful to have some other experiences.

Strawberry, I'm sorry about your FIL but it's interesting that you say you didn't feel anything as he said last night that he didn't even know if he would feel anything if his Dad's plane crashed (he's flying home soon) as he feels so numbed.

I'm honestly not sure if they are touching the depression or not sad he seems so dull and lethargic it's very hard to tell what's the pills and what is him.

Crawling, I think he genuinely felt nothing at all rather than focusing elsewhere. It's been hard tbh - I've been trying to be practical, do things to find her, posters, flyers, 101 phonecalls and emails (you can imagine) and unless I specifically said "phone this number..." he wouldn't do anything. It's like he just can't get worked up or interested by anything whatsoever.

Crawling Sun 30-Dec-12 20:17:54

sad I hope things get better soon and your cat turns up I take it this is unusual for her?

She's a house cat sad

We were staying with MIL while we had some work done on the house. We went out in the morning, cat was in the house. We got home, cat was no where to be found. MIL had her friend round, who came accompanied by 3 lurchers. Who chased our 3 cats. Somehow one of them got out, except MIL didn't realise she was gone so we didn't know she was outside until the next morning. By which time she was nowhere to be found

Course, he also isn't feeling any anger...

Crawling Sun 30-Dec-12 20:29:33

Aw that must be hard going I would be very pissed off maybe get him to speak to whoever prescribed the anti dependants if his depression has passed maybe he could wean off or try another tablet.

WithanAnotE Sat 05-Jan-13 15:23:38

As an alternative view - It might be that he needs to increase his meds?
I know when I have felt flat my psychiatrist has increased my meds to get me 'going again' - as that's how I feel when I am really depressed / hit rock bottom.
Perhaps he's only half way there to being fully on the mend???

I felt like that on Fluoxetine, but am fine on Sertraline. Worth trying different meds.

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