I didnt know whether to post this here or in relationships or what? Hope it fits here.
I have bipolar disorder. I have suffered with depression on and off for my entire life, but only had my first manic episode this year. It was very frightening, and I am now taking medication and on the waiting list for CBT.
I am married to a very supportive, kind man. He loves me very much and would do anything for me. However, I am desperately unhappy and considering ending our marriage. Before I do, I just need some perspective, because I am so confused about whether my unhappiness with aspects of my life (including my marriage) is a problem in itself or more a symptom of my bipolar ie. I will never be truly happy with this illness, whatever I do...
I feel horribly trapped by my life. I live in the suburbs in a big house that I cannot keep clean or tidy. My DH is lovely, but the spark is gone and has been gone for years. We are like best mates now. It breaks my heart to say that.
Our children are still pretty young, one is disabled. Life is a struggle a lot of the time. I sometimes dream of running away from it all. Lately I think maybe I would be happier if I were single and could concentrate on getting well. I think about having a smaller, more manageable flat, ending my evenings after DC are asleep alone with some quiet time for myself, no pressure to be giving to another adult (not that DH is a demanding man). Maybe sharing custody, so that I have a few child free days a week?
God it sounds so stupid and selfish. Can anyone make any of sense of what I am feeling? Apologies of a bit garbled.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
Mental illness and my marriage / life - please advise!
6 replies
Bellendissima · 28/12/2012 15:52
OP posts:
Unfortunatlyanxious ·
02/01/2013 18:57
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.