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Driving away

(1000 Posts)
Pumble Fri 28-Dec-12 00:52:13

I don't know where to post this and don't know what to do. I'm sitting here crying again with my 5 week old dd2 and just know that the best thing I could do for both of my girls is to get in the car and drive. If dd2 ever goes to sleep that is what I must do. I won't be leaving them alone and it will break my heart but it's what will be best for them. They deserve so much better than the useless failure of a mother they have.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess to feel less alone

Pumble Wed 10-Apr-13 19:36:38

Hope bedtimes begin to improve v quickly tiddly (must pm you about your name change....)

Pumblett 2 having another screaming bedtime...I was finding it rather hard going so have escaped to stand in he bathroom for two minutes-that's ok isn't it? I'm going back but I just needed to get out for two minutes.

Pumblett 1 had a lovely tantrum in he middle of waitrose today so we abandoned shopping and came home....!

Right-must go back in.....

Pumble Wed 10-Apr-13 19:54:54

Turns out pumblett 2 had clearly had enough of me too as she was silent before I went back in!! Obviously sometimes, just walking out is best for you both. Maybe my tensions weren't helping her. Wow - a rational thought from me about bedtime, and I'm on my own - perhaps I am much better than I was.

rowrowrowtheboat Wed 10-Apr-13 20:25:46

I love it when something works that wasn't going to be the next thing on the list of things to do to. Result. Run downstairs quick to put feet up and relax before bed, and remember to use that trick again.

Ps I used to hide in the room next door for a couple of minutes too when DD1 or DD2 wasn't settling. Health Visitor gave me a handout on the technique to settle DD1 to sleep at 5am every morning.

Sunnywithshowers Wed 10-Apr-13 20:42:44

grin Wishing you a restful night Pumble. x

Wylye Wed 10-Apr-13 20:55:47

Def ok to escape the screaming - I still often have to go and stand in the next room for a min or five when DS is having a scream, it's totally normal! Honestly, I'd have put him out for the binmen by now if I couldn't have a minute's break from the mini banshee every now and then.

You really really are much better than you were, all excellent progress. smile

magimedi Wed 10-Apr-13 22:48:30

Taking time out in the bathroom is very, very, very OK.

* perhaps I am much better than I was.*

No perhaps about it - you are doing so well.

Every time I look at this thread you are coping better & better.

You are a ******* mother, Pumble, you really are!

Hope you are having a good sleep tonight - we don't seem to coincide time wise - but my 'baby' is pushing 32! grin

Pumble Thu 11-Apr-13 19:57:44

Any thoughts on why pumblett 2 is waking 45 minutes after going down? Any way to stop it?

magimedi Thu 11-Apr-13 20:01:46

Far too long since I had one that age, Pumble.

Cold? Hot? Some item of clothing too tight when she turns?

Can you post this query somewhere else, like the parenting section?

Hope she's gone back to sleep now.

Pumble Thu 11-Apr-13 20:02:25

She's screams, I comfort her and then put her down. She then is unsettled for a while (and generally go in again). I thought it was wind but tend not to get a burp so not sure. Hmmm. Why don't they come with an instruction book?!

Pumble Thu 11-Apr-13 20:03:16

Very sensible advice to post it somewhere else magimedi

They are so confusing these small people! smile

Wylye Thu 11-Apr-13 20:07:10

Don't they sleep in 45 minute cycles? It sounds to me like she's just entering a light sleep phase and waking up fully instead of resettling.

I remember a friend of mine used to pick her DS up just before he was about to wake up, and rock him thru the light sleep phase, then put him down again once he was properly asleep again. It just kind of pre-empted the proper waking up. Might be worth a go? Just sit by the cot for 10 mins when you think she's going to wake and see if you can head her off at the pass!
I think I just used to boob DS back to sleep, I'm afraid it feels like decades ago even tho he's only 2!

ImNotCute Thu 11-Apr-13 20:40:11

Hi, yes 45 mins in is probably just a natural waking point in the sleep cycle. It's frustrating isn't it? Both my dcs have been terrible at waking like this in the evening.

How does pumblett 2 go to sleep at first? I hear that if they're able to self settle when they first go to sleep they should settle themselves again when they briefly wake, unless there's something bothering them eg teething pain. My youngest won't self settle though, after a failed attempt at sleep training I still feed him to sleep.

Pumble Fri 12-Apr-13 07:16:26

45 minute sleep cycle would make sense! You would think I would remember given pumblett 1 is only 2! Clearly it's been blocked out! Pumblett 2 puts herself to sleep so not sure why she can't at this point.

rowrowrowtheboat Sat 13-Apr-13 19:50:52

How is it all going?

Pumble Sat 13-Apr-13 22:54:00

Pumblett 2 didn't stir tonight smile. Interestingly the more awake she is when she goes down often the better the evening is if that makes sense?

We're hanging in there with only 2 more bedtimes to do and my mum and dad have come to stay tonight and its lovely to see them, plus pumblett 1 absolutely loves them to bits!

magimedi Sat 13-Apr-13 23:26:17

Hooray for Grand Pumblettes being there!

And even bigger hooray for only 2 more sleeps until Mr P is home.

Looks like you've survived it, Pumble. You have, you can do anything, you are a star!

And another way hay for P2 sleeping through. That's 'cos she has a wonderful & amazing mother.

PS At this rate (815 posts) you are going to have to start another thread soon, sweetie. And you are - don't want to lose touch with you & the future girl band! grin

Wylye Sun 14-Apr-13 00:08:08

smile

rowrowrowtheboat Sun 14-Apr-13 21:53:05

One more sleep! Hope you had a lovely time with your parents too.

Pumble Mon 15-Apr-13 14:02:44

I want to walk out the house.... I just need a break.

Pumble Mon 15-Apr-13 14:06:58

They're screaming the house down and I'm just sitting here crying

Wylye Mon 15-Apr-13 14:07:48

Oh Pumble - it must seem unending, when does DH get back?

Take a break - put the girls somewhere safe, put your earplugs in, and have a quiet cup of tea for 5/10 mins. They'll be fine - you need a few mins on your own.
Xxxx

Wylye Mon 15-Apr-13 14:08:27

Are any naps due?

Pumble Mon 15-Apr-13 14:12:27

Neither will nap. I can't cope.

Pumble Mon 15-Apr-13 14:13:56

Pumblett 1 coveted in a rash too so don't feel I can phone a friend or go anywhere. I've just totally fallen apart.

Oh Pumble, I lost your thread for a long time. Was wondering how you were doing.

Definitely there are 45 min sleep cycles. Something we still get issue with from time to time.

DD is tired as I took her for a long, long walk. If they really won't nap, perhaps give them 20 mins of play time/quiet play, and try again? It's so frustrating when they won't settle.

Can you escape safely into another room for 5 mins? I did the walk away treatment earlier today and it did help.

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