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Christmas stress is pushing me over the edge

(10 Posts)
TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Sat 22-Dec-12 19:29:19

I have posted before about my depression, I've had it on and off since my early teens, including 4 severe episodes (one after bereavement, one bout of AND and now on my second bout of PND). I also suffer from anxiety - I worry about people I love and what might happen to them, I worry that they will be hurt or injured or killed and I can't help visualising these things happening. I am a self-harmer too - I started cutting at the age of 7. I managed to stop this last year but I have realised that my unstoppable food binges are just a different type of SH.

I am currently on a 50mg dose of Sertraline and have been for a few months. It has helped immensely, but all this Christmas stuff is getting to me. Atm I am curled in a ball in the dark, wishing that everything would just go away, that I could just go away. I don't think I'm suicidal, certainly I don't intend to do anything drastic, but I just want to stop for a while.

I have had both talking therapy and CBT in the past and neither helped much, but I'm hoping that someone can suggest a way to get through the next week without having another breakdown?

40thisisit Sat 22-Dec-12 20:37:08

Hi don't know if I can actually help but I can speak from someone who has suffered depression and also my dad is currently in a pschcyiactric (sp) unit at the moment. Ok the most important thing for you is that your worries are real and not made up, I feel for you. Are you alone?

TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Sat 22-Dec-12 20:52:16

No, DH is here but DS isn't sleeping so he's looking after him to give me a break.

peachypips Sat 22-Dec-12 20:56:11

Hi- hope you are ok. I hate depression more than anything else; it is the worst thing that has ever happened to me!
I was on 200 Sertraline and 40 mirtazapine but am on 50 Sertraline now. If it's been working up to now something chemical has prob changed. Any chance your period is due? This really affects my mental health issue.

nightshade Sat 22-Dec-12 20:57:53

Have a sleep, then work out what u absolutely have to do eg turkey . Organise to do it. When you get the main one or two things done then anything else is a bonus! I bought my turkey today and intend to do nothing else. Haven,t even written a card.

TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Sat 22-Dec-12 21:43:25

peachy it might be, I don't know - my periods haven't come back yet.

nightshade I have the turkey! smile I think it's partly the pressure of feeling like we have to see all the family - until a couple of years ago we lived 150 miles away from our nearest family and had a peaceful Christmas Day to ourselves. Then we had children and moved, and now we're only a couple of miles away from my family so we kind of have to see them. And DH's family will be at his nan's (they live a few hours away usually) so we kind of have to see them as well. DD is 3.5 and will love seeing everyone. DS will be 1 on Christmas Day itself so of course everyone wants to see him in his first birthday... Then extra relatives (on both sides of the family) will be around on Boxing Day and they'll want to see the kids too...

<hyperventilates>

peachypips Sun 23-Dec-12 10:21:46

How are you today?

TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Sun 23-Dec-12 12:35:20

Powering through my to do list! Still feeling stressed but less overwhelmed. smile

bluebiscuit Sun 23-Dec-12 12:53:26

Christmas can be a stressful time anyway with 2 little DC. I wouldn't worry about the fact that you have been feeling overwhelmed because it's a big undertaking for most people with or without depression/anxiety. It sounds like you are managing well, the only thing I would say is to think about what has caused the most stress and how you might lessen the stress for next year.

Personally, with lots of relatives living nearby, I ask that they come after lunch because mass catering is too difficult for me and I also want to prepare it with dh without having to entertain people etc. our DC are a bit older than yours (makes a huge difference to the workload - significantly reduced at ages 4 and 6) and they will happily play with the presents they've opened whilst I sort stuff out. See what troubles you and how you can reduce it.

peachypips Mon 24-Dec-12 19:59:31

That's really good. Sometimes a little time passing can help a lot!

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