Mumsnet Talk

mine have been quite similar recently and really.unable.to settle and concentrate. like I always have to be moving. I suppose because I am prone to doing reckless things and can be unnaturally happy thats where the bipolar thing came from. Having read about BPD im sure.the psychiatrist is right as many of my moods, while they might be intense, last.hours to days.rather than days to weeks. That said im not entirely convince that.there isn't some kind of mood disorder there too... but I cant understand it so diagnosing myself is useless!

I am a bloody nightmare with my medication . I do occasionally become paranoid and decide that theres a conspiracy going on and the ADs are what makes me ill. I stop taking them and eventually become this irrational ball of rage and despair. I hate everyone and am convinced that they secretly hate me too and that I have no real friends. if anyone sticks their head above the.parapet I am a real bitch. then it just goes (or someone manages to guilt me back on ADs) and when people tell me what im like i know its true but it doesnt seem like me.

My current doctor said that she was sorry to tell me.that noone really knows.how to treat BPD but therapy.seemed to work better than medication. I really hope she changes her mind because things arent working but I have no idea what I want her to do. I think id get much further if I saw someone a bit more . regularly than 4 times a year.

I would ask for.a second opinion but they sent me.to see the hospital psychiatrist before and they decided I needed sedating on a daily basis! I wrote a stroppy letter discharging myself and don't want to go back there.

I think I've waffled...

you are not waffling! i think it's safe to say we are all here to listen whether we go on or not, but what you are saying makes perfect sense.

i don't think bpd is an easy thing to treat, your doctor is right there but that doesn't mean that you aren't going to have a good life with stability. i went for a long time where i was pretty much symptom free and i never saw any doctors for around a year and a bit so it is doable. everyone will have their blips, it's the same with any mental health problem isn't it?

i think that medication can help if you are willing to persevere to find the right combination for you. i take a combination of anti depressants, anti convulsants as a mood stabiliser and beta blockers for anxiety. it took a long time for me to find what worked, talking a good few years and that was before i got the bpd diagnosis when my old shrink was just treating my symptoms.

i don't blame you for not wanting to go and get a 2nd opinion though if that's what happened to you, that's horrible and i'm sorry to hear that.

do you have any children? and do you mind me asking how open you are about your condition?

I don't have any children and I am fairly open with my family.and my close friends. I think others know something is not.quite right but obviously not what!

how was your weekend. frilly?

unicorn - my weekend was fine thanks, yours? no major blips or issues here

Anyone about today???

I am and Im v bored at work

how are you.today?

Unicorn I have been free from a diagnosis of BPD for 5 years now. I had intensive "Schema Therapy" devised and perfected in Manhatten and Maastricht by Jeffrey Young. It works.

Please ask your doctor to investigate further.

Were you able to get that on the NHS Dolomites? I've heard good things about it but it isn't available in my area.

Sorry, I missed your response yesterday - I wasn't deliberately ignoring you!

No, it wasn't on the NHS - however it was available on the health service of the country I was living in at the time - it was really down to pure luck that I was living in one of the few places (at the time!) who did it. My diagnosis was back in 2002 and as I finished the programme I was told that it had evolved greatly and was now having even better results with group sessions and the programme will now last approximately a year - it may well have been refined since though.

The "problem" I believe is that the NHS will only fund 6 sessions of psychotherapy (is that true?) - and those of you who are BPD know very well that in 6 sessions you are nowhere near actually opening up and telling the "truth" to a complete stranger - no matter WHAT type of therapy it is!

However, because it's done in groups - would you dare approach a psychologist and propose group sessions at a reduced rate and/or to be guinea pigs?

I suppose the irony is that the NHS will quite happily dole out anti-psychotics, anti-depressants and lithium for the next 50 years of your life. <sign>

No, that isn't actually true - people who have low level depression/anxiety are usually seen through IAPT, and that tends to be 6 sessions of CBT. If you're seen by the CMHT, or other secondary mental health services you can get more than that, but it tends to be a bit of a postcode lottery, so for eg in some areas of the country you can get proper DBT, or schema therapy or MBT etc, whereas in others it is CBT or CAT if you're lucky.

Hi all. I'm reviving a dead thread, sorry!!

I've been well and truly fucked over by life in the last twenty four hours. BPD has reared it's ugly head again. All the symptoms I'd been controlling so well are suddenly back. I'm still in reasonable control, thinking pragmatically, but this situations sucks, and I'm struggling.

Know this thread has been asleep for two months now, but you guys are the only people I know will understand why having your trust betrayed is such a big thing.

well im glad you've poked it awake!

I hope you feel better, im sure all off us know how bad it is to feel like you do.

I am awake a stupid o'clock because my brain won't turn off. One of my friends is choosing to do something very selfish and illegal and I have rage that won't go away. Everyone says its my BPD making things black and white and although what she is doing is wrong I need to chill.

if you want to chat I'll reply here or PM me

Do you want to share any details Unicorn? I see things very black and white sometimes too, though I getting better at letting in the grey.

My trust has been completely violated, by two of the people I trusted most, and on the anniversary of my assault as well... However. Am trying to find a positive in this, and see it as a test of my new skills when it comes to managing my illness. Instead of feeling "Fucking hell, I should never trust anyone again!", I'm thinking, "Wow these two fucked me over. I can never trust them again!". Still slightly black and white, but given the circumstances, that's understandable. And I'm separating the individuals which is something I don't normally do.

Grow, change, move upwards, etc

How are you?