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Sertraline and any other AD's Support Thread Part 2

(929 Posts)
PackItInNow Fri 07-Dec-12 13:48:03

Just a continuation from the original thread, which is due to finish soon. Anyone and everyone needing some kind words, and hand-holding, are more than welcome smile.

TacticalWheelbarrow Mon 10-Dec-12 19:45:02

Looks like we are all having a rough time today sad
Thanks for the nice words susie it just so happens I have an appointment with the GP tomorrow that was booked when I was first put on the ADs and will bring it up. I hope you are doing ok yourself.

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Mon 10-Dec-12 19:48:18

sorry, being horribly self indulgent -

Good luck at GP tomorrow tac

hope we all have a better day tomorrow.

TacticalWheelbarrow Mon 10-Dec-12 19:53:49

vicar you aren't being self indulgent at all. Everyone needs to offload from time to time. You are going through such a stressful time at the moment. Do you feel any better at all?

TacticalWheelbarrow Mon 10-Dec-12 19:55:16

I mean since you have started the ADs

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Mon 10-Dec-12 20:18:29

in all honesty not yet, but ive only been on them 1 week and i know that it may take longer than that to have any effect.

if anything i think i feel worse - as well as being a misery, im a side effect suffering misery, but im hanging on to the hope that when the drugs start to take effect it may be worth it.

susiedaisy Mon 10-Dec-12 20:31:59

When I was first prescribed sertraline my gp warned me that my anxiety may be worse before it got better and for a few days it was, days 4-8 was awful I was more panicky, exhausted to the point that I couldn't even hold a conversation and wanted to sleep all the time, had no appetite, but slowly it passed and like I mentioned earlier been on sertraline for 3 weeks now and am just beginning to feel a bit more human, HTH

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Mon 10-Dec-12 22:33:01

susie thank you - that does help loads. it give me some hope that this absolute exhaustion and fatigue will pass and i may start to feel better.

im a bit conflicted that the gp has effectively fibbed on my sick note - im sure he thinks he is doing me a favour (which he possibly is) but i cant string out the chest infection thing for the next few weeks if thats how long it takes to start to feel more human.

i want to be able to stop worrying about work.

i too can seemingly not manage to string a conversation together - i visited a friend earlier to give her a birthday present but gave up after 20 mins of not being able to manage a conversation that made any sense. i kept drifting off, yawning and couldnt speak properly. i also keep biting my tongue as im getting involuntary jaw clenching. She was lovely and very understanding.

i wish i could explain to the gp how this is effecting me.

susiedaisy Tue 11-Dec-12 13:01:59

Hi hope everyone is ok today and not too cold!!

PackItInNow Tue 11-Dec-12 19:00:22

Evening ladies. How is everyone? Just made a load of brew, anyone want a cuppa and a chocolate and ginger biscuit or 2?

PackItInNow Tue 11-Dec-12 19:16:05

Hi Susie, tis baltic over here in Northern Ireland.

PackItInNow Tue 11-Dec-12 19:30:07

I started this thread so people could rant and be self-indulgent without anyone judging them. The more you speak about your troubles and irritations, the more we can understand each person, and so understand the actions IYSWIM.

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Tue 11-Dec-12 19:38:03

evening susie and pack

any sign of tacticalwheelbarrow today? hope she got some joy at doctors.

im still so incredibly tired beyond belief. Felt very sick all morning too, getting truly fed up of this now tbh.

going to have an early night tonight, am up for an early appointment at dentist tomorrow (joy) and then at hairdressers. If i could get away with rebooking it all i would but i know i wont get back in either before next year.

Barkyboots Tue 11-Dec-12 21:13:53

Hi all, have never posted before but this looks like thread I could do with joining... I'm due to go back to work on Monday after being off sick with anxiety/stress/depression since July. Have never ever had so much time off work, and have been working for 30 years. I've been in my current job for 13 years and have been really quite surprised and disappointed at how unresponsive my employers have been. I'd been on Fluoxetine for around 15 years, for much of that time only 20mg, but since this recent episode i've been increased to 40mg of fluoxetine, and most recently, a month ago, switched to citalopram, 40mg, as my GP thought that might help with the anxiety. I'm noticing a lot of the side effects that some of you mention: clenched jaw, sleep disruption, craving sugary food, and so on. Worst of all though, I have somehow gained about 20lbs in 20 weeks! I don't think I've ever gained weight at that sort of rate before so I think it must be the increased dose of antid's. I'm still very anxious about returning to work - the problem (a particular bullying individual), is still in place and I will still have to work with her, albeit no longer share an office with her. My employers have told me that they only way they could do something about this would be if I brought a bullying claim against her - and I really don't feel it would be in my interests to do that - just more stress and anxiety... I'm also quite nervous about how to deal with questions when I go back along the lines of 'how are you' (which I think will be code for - 'what on earth has been so wrong with you that you've been off for five months?!') I don't know how honest to be or how people will 'judge' me...
Sorry if I've gone on too long.Would welcome your thoughts. Thanks.

TacticalWheelbarrow Tue 11-Dec-12 21:27:42

Sorry for not replying last night vicar but my ADs kicked in and I fell asleep face planting my iPad blush. Are you feeling any better today? I think both of us are at the same stage at the moment, in limbo waiting for these bloody things to kick in. I think it will be good for you to have the extra time off to try and ride out those side effects. How's the headaches?

My GP is amazing she is so supportive, we've decided not to increase my dose and give it a chance to kick in. Im going back on Metformin as well so hopefully that will counteract any weight gain I might experience on these pills.

How are you doing packitin and susie

TacticalWheelbarrow Tue 11-Dec-12 21:31:25

barkyboots how are you feeling in yourself at the moment? Do you feel ready to go back to work?
With regards to questions maybe a smile and "I'm fine thanks" will be enough for them? If they push further could you fob them off and say "oh we haven't got long enough for me to even start"
How horrible for you to have to be worrying about this bullying individual. Do you have to spend much time with this person alone?

I hope you are ok

Barkyboots Tue 11-Dec-12 21:50:58

Thanks TW it's really nice to have your response (MN is so cool!). It's a bit weird, yesterday I thought I felt ready to go back to work, but today I'm not so sure! I'm not sure if I'm afraid of going back and facing the Bullying Witch, or whether I'm scared of going back because I'm afraid that I will go back to feeling as sick/ill/anxious as I was feeling back in July, if that makes sense? (I work in a team of 2 effectively, and she is the other one!)
Your thoughts on what to say to colleagues is helpful.. although I sort of doubt my ability to not over-reveal when asked. Eeuurrgghh...

somewherebecomingrain Tue 11-Dec-12 21:55:12

barkyboots I would plan your exit strategy. Not immediately - no sudden moves - but get out of there. It is a case of either fight or flight - you can't just stay and try to work with the person as if they are reasonable.

try this website www.whybulliesbully.com/ the woman who does it really knows her stuff.

Barkyboots Tue 11-Dec-12 22:16:14

Thank you somewhere - that website looks really interesting.
You're probably right about getting out... I have felt quite disillusioned at the way I've seen my boss and others in the organisation just 'run away' from/take a head in the sand approach to this individual.. at the cost it seems to me, of my health/wellbeing. Sometimes I feel that I want to 'fight' as in stand my ground and face the problem, and other times the 'flight' option feels very appealing - just bloody run away and leave them all to it. Trouble is, it's not easy to walk away from what is otherwise a good job, close to home, etc etc I do feel though that it is better to go back and then, when I'm ready, leave on my terms in a sort of 'head held high' approach, rather than fade away in a kind of 'long term sick and then never seen again' approach.
Have you or others on the thread had to face difficult issues re: work?

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Tue 11-Dec-12 22:17:28

hi tactical - glad you got to see your gp and have a plan. Cant say i feel better yet, (the side effects were dreadful today, and at the moment they seem worse than the depression) but i did get out for my riding lesson, and had a funny conversation with my riding instructor....i was envying her lovely job outdoors among the horses and she was envying mine - She put me straight on hers (no money in it) and i put her straight on mine (stressful and cannon fodder for idiots) which was funny....there we both were thinking how the grass must be greener....grin id still swap though....

hi barky i can totally understand where you are coming from - im nervous about going back and people asking loaded questions or judging me for being off, even though they dont know the diagnosis. As for how to deal with the colleague - i would be very wary against putting yourself back in the position that made you ill, i would also look at ways of removing yourself from the problem.

i think thats what im going to do if i get no joy when i go back. If i dont feel better, or if i feel that it is the job that put me here in the first place, i will start to look for something else. I feel sad about saying that, because i worked so so hard, but my health is going to have to come first i think.

TacticalWheelbarrow Tue 11-Dec-12 22:20:46

barkyboots it seems to me that you being worried about going back to what you were like in July is emphasising your anxiety about being around this woman.
Have you talked to your boss about you going back?

TacticalWheelbarrow Tue 11-Dec-12 22:24:04

vicar it's great that you are getting yourself outside, I really believe that leaving the house and doing something does make you feel better. Sorry to hear about the side effects, what ones are the worse for you? I'm in bed atm with a headache (back of head) and my lovely DH has brought up a hot water bottle for my pelvis, and the paracetamol is just kicking in. Same for you maybe?

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Tue 11-Dec-12 22:35:19

for me the most debilitating side effect and most noticeable is absolute exhaustion, fatigue beyond anything ive ever known. my eyes stream all day from yawning, as soon as my head hits the pillow im out for the count and DH says im snoring....im absolutely shattered.

then its the nausea.

then its the teeth chattering/jaw thing.

then yes, a dull, pounding headache.

the fatigue is doing my head in now, and if it doesnt subside there is no way i could stay on these tablets, i have to work nights, at this rate i would be asleep by midnight.

going back to your point about being outside - you know thinking about it i stopped running outdoors in April. Im only managing to ride once a week, if this tiredness subsides i might have to try running outdoors again.

Barkyboots Tue 11-Dec-12 22:38:26

Thanks vicar, how long have you been off work? I absolutely agree, I am very anxious/wary of putting myself back in the situation that made me ill in the first place, but i don't feel I have any choice, other than to leave I suppose.
Thanks tactical - talking to my boss? He has been hopeless - has delegated dealing with me to a.n.other in the organisation, and has only e.mailed me once, and met with me once, in 5 months of being off. I'm due to go back on Monday and I e.mailed both my boss and the a.n.other, offering various times when I could go in this week to discuss my return to work, and he hasn't replied and the other has replied saying none of the dates work for them. So am I just expected to walk back into work on Monday after 5 months off?! I think it's crap to be honest - hardly supportive. And like all organisations, (and it's a large one) there's all this stuff on their website about valuing their employees and supporting them etc etc and blah blah! Sorry, I'm going 'off on one'...
Sorry to hear you're all having such a tough time with the side effects of anti-d's. I've had several but they're tolerable, apart from the weight gain! I do feel a lot better than I did five months ago, but I suppose the anxiety is rearing up again now that I'm facing going back to work...

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Tue 11-Dec-12 22:54:01

barky - ive been off for a month by next monday. im due back to work that afternoon but i have a doctors appointment in the morning - if the side effects are still hitting me hard i will ask for longer, but im hugely aware that the longer i have off the more difficult it will be to go back and tongues will be wagging by now already. That said, i think i would prefer to be feeling better before i go back as otherwise i think i am in danger of walking. Its an incredibly stressful job and one which needs you to be operating at 100%. It also involves shift work. I know what you mean about just being expected to walk back in - thats the bit im dreading too. Its a funny culture i work in (police) but they dont know the diagnosis - only that im suffering some side effects from medication. I havent even told them.

Barkyboots Tue 11-Dec-12 23:07:13

Is opening a jar of jam and eating it off the knife spoon a side effect of citalopram? blush
vicar that must be a very stressful job - I can completely understand that you need to feel 100%. I deal with clients from all over the world, who can be very bright and very demanding and challenging ... so it can be stressful too, albeit differently - less life-threatening-y! But there's no room for self doubt, I have to look and sound like I know what I'm talking about...
I imagine that the police culture is still quite 'macho' when it comes to things like mental health issues? I think most organisations are still stuck in the dark ages when it comes to mental health issues though, that's why part of me feels it should be spoken about and that it's important to be as honest as possible... but then...like you...i don't want to 'out' myself as someone who struggles with anxiety, depression etc. Difficult isn't it?

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