Finally cracked

[EricNorthmansFangBanger]

Yesterday I finally cracked. I was sat in Uni worrying about the assignment that was due in for that evening that I hadn't finished. I'd started it but what I had was rubbish and I didn't know how to carry on with it.

After DD2 was born I was diagnosed with PND. Not straight away, it was when she was about 8 months old though I'd had symptoms since she was around 4 months. I was prescribed lustral and took it for 2 months before I just stopped. Then I became pregnant with DC3 unexpectedly. I didn't go back to the doctors and I just tried to ignore it. DH has depression and is currently untreated, he goes through phases of being on track and then reverting again. He was withdrawn from his uni course last year due to financial reasons but he was meant to be suspended for mental health reasons. He's been searching for a job but so far no luck. We're living off my student loan, CB and CTC. He recently started getting JSA. We're struggling for money, we have a mould problem in the house, we're arguing a lot and I'm feeling an immense pressure for my final year. I sit down to do an assignment and my mind goes blank. I've been having dark thoughts and just a general feeling of being unable to cope.

I made a show of myself at University yesterday, I just broke down. I rang the doctors who made me an emergency appointment. I saw a doctor that I've never seen before. I tried to explain what was going on and that the PND had always been there but I just tried to pretend it wasn't. She seemed really disinterested. She agreed that I shouldn't go back on antidepressants, especially whilst pregnant and said counselling would be better. I said that was fine. She said that she'd give me a medical note for a month and that maybe I'd start to feel better when I had less pressure on me . It's not something that's just come up, it's been ongoing for months. The medical note says stress. I feel as if this is still the PND, but what do I do? Do I go see a different doctor? I've been referred to the well being team at uni and they need a medical note for things like extensions and extra time in exams. It needs to be specific and I don't feel that the doctor took in what I was trying to tell her.

I just don't know what to do, I'm scared on the thoughts I've had and I worry that when DC3 arrives that I'll just spiral deeper

[amillionyears]

I think I can only answer bits of this, so am partly bumping.
Is the medical note good enough for uni, or dont you know yet?
What has happened about your current assignment?

If you were to see a different doctor, would you then tell the new doctor everything, or leave bits out again when you got in there?

[EricNorthmansFangBanger]

I'm not 100% sure yet about the medical note, but I feel like this is more than stress iyswim? I was diagnosed with PND and that didn't go away. The doctor was making the suggestion that in a months time that I wouldn't feel like this anymore.

My assignment has been put on hold for the moment, my tutor told me not to worry about it for the moment. I didn't leave anything out when I spoke to the doctor but she seemed adament that I wouldn't feel like this in a month even though I've felt like this since the PND diagnosis. She also seemed a bit when I said DD2 was in nursery all week whilst I was at Uni. If I was to see another doctor it would be the original one I saw who made my PND diagnosis, I only saw this one because it was an emergency appointment. Thank you for your reply

[LeChatRouge]

From what you have written, you seem to have a LOT on your plate right now. No wonder you are feeling overwhelmed.

Is it an option for you to sit down with your DH and break down each issue into chunks, so at least you can see what's going on? I would get some a notebook and write one of the issues as a heading on each page eg University, damp house, your health, DH health, DH Uni, Money, Practical plan for DC3, etc.etc.

Then write up the immediate issue, then list possible options and solutions, even if they seem out of reach or unlikely. Also, who you need to ask for help from...landlord? Tutor? Your regular doctor? Health visitor? Midwife? Family?

If you and your DH are not in a good place, is there a family member or friend you could do this with instead?

I feel by coming on here you are reaching out for help, so now might be the perfect time for you to take control and make some plans. I know my reply seems more logical than emotional, but I guess this is the bonus of me not knowing you IRL, I can suggest practical solutions. I don't mean in any way to discount how the depression makes you feel.

[amillionyears]

I say yes to seeing the original doctor.
I wouldnt have thought it would hurt to say you were not particularly happy with the diagnosis of the second, and if you can, say you did not tell the second doctor everything.