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I want to hit my baby

(54 Posts)

I won't. He is not at risk of abuse, I will not harm him. But the urge is there.

I am alone with him as DH has taken DD to the doctor. I haven't had an unbroken night's sleep since before DD was born (she is 3.4) and have had less than 3 hours a night all week as we all have horrible colds and DS can barely breathe, he's so stuffy.

I was going to take DD to the doctor except that DS started rubbing his eyes and yawning so I had to stay here with him. An hour later and he's still fucking awake. I am tired, I am exhausted, I am in pain from my back and sinuses and I am a horrible mother because I keep getting the urge to slap him.

I am on Sertraline for PND (second time around

Scheherezade Fri 16-Nov-12 21:41:53

Do you have a bedtime routine for either DC? My DS (13 months) has a bath, then bottle and bed every night, hasn't missed a bath since he was 3mo, even though we travel a lot and are away from home.

I used to have him in our room/co sleep till my pnd became extreme and I was admitted to a mother and baby ward. He had to sleep in a separate room to me, and it was the first night in his life that he slept through.

Yes, they both have a bedtime routine. I think part of the problem this evening was that DS had an extra nap today as he was so tired after a bad night (he kept snuffling himself awake, poor boy) and so wasn't as tired as usual at bedtime.

He's very similar to DD - she was very high-needs too (although I didn't know it was called that at the time) and she didn't sleep through the night until after her 2nd birthday. We tried all kinds of sleep training and it just made things worse. sad

showtunesgirl Fri 16-Nov-12 22:13:40

Oh Joyful. sad

Keep talking to us here as well.

I had thoughts like this when DD was very little after a traumatic birth and I so wish I'd spoken to someone. I think it's very common from what I've heard.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 16-Nov-12 22:21:09

Puddle mine didn't sleep either - DS2 still isn't brilliant and he is 20 months. He will be awake in the night for an hour quite often, and he wants to be held, talked to etc.

We have tried some kind of sleep training with him, but he doesn't settle himself, just winds himself up into hysteria so we don't do that anymore because I worry about cortisol levels.

It does get better, and gradually things get easier. Hang in there, you are doing a good job. One day you will realise that you are looking back on this time from a better place.

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