...about how angry I get with the kids. I spoke with my GP who put me in contact a local support service for CBT and counselling. I had an assessment phone call and the help they offered me was 'guided self help calls' and they said they would contact a HV check that I was 'coping' ok at home. The girl on the phone seemed to think that my problems were all stress related due to work and bringing up two small children. I made it clear that it's not stress, it's the way I am and want to change that.
A bit of background. I get easily irritated. Always have, it's in the family. I say in the family, I am beginning to act like my mother and her mother and expect her mother etc.
As a teenager my mother has depression and to put it mildly, I didn't like her. She got easily irritated and when i say easily irritated I mean over the slightest thing. The noise someone made when they were eating, breathing and fidgeting. She would snap in the most ugly way, clenching her fists and making horrible faces. She would fly off the handle at the smallest thing. As a 15 year old, I wasn't able to understand why she was like that and I told her, many times. This just lead to arguments and lots of them. She never explained it to me... I had to wait until I turned into this crazy person myself to realise that it's a mental health issue and needs to be resolved before I have the breakdown that she inevitably had.
I don't want my children to feel about me, the way I felt about her. So I had to get help. Anyway, what I am upset about is the idea of a HV calling. I feel so mad with the service, with myself, with my friends who I know are probably 'worse' at controlling their anger than I am. I am unreasonably mad with my friends because I have sought help but I am the one that will be made to feel like a regular on Jeremy Kyle
I guess I have no question really, I will have to put up with the stigma of having the health visitor call round to check up on us if I am to make use of the help I can get in the form of counselling.
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Mental health
Feeling like I shouldn't have been so honest...
4 replies
popcornoohah · 13/11/2012 17:51
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