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Emetophobia - my worst nightmare

(1000 Posts)
zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 18:09:02

Ds1 goes to a school set on several different sites. Today one of the sites has been closed for deep cleaning due to norovirus wiping out hundreds of children this week. There are loads of siblings in ds1's building/class and 8 of his classmates were off today.

I am a single parent (really outing myself here!) and terrified of what feels completely inevitable right now. I was awake all night last night, waiting. Shall be doing the same again tonight.

You know, I feel like I have improved a lot with my emetophobia recently. I am no longer worried about the odd v. It's the awful, debilitating violence of noro that terrifies the life out of me.

The waiting is utter torture sad

reastie Thu 06-Dec-12 12:07:31

lulu I've taken buccastem and I think they work really well.

Badvocsanta Thu 06-Dec-12 12:33:41

I take motillium if I feel very sick

lulu1971 Thu 06-Dec-12 12:36:53

Hi Reastie. I thought buccastem are for migraine. how do they work on a sickness bug?

reastie Thu 06-Dec-12 12:41:09

I haven't tried them on a sick bug but I had them when I felt very sick and dizzy when coming off to the pill and when I had ms when pg (before I realised it was because I was pg). I think motillium might be better for a tummy bug as it gets everything to move through your stomach quicker. Also, I have a student I teach who cannot physically be sick and we have to give him a motilium (his gp prescribes it) to help. He has to use this if he has a tummy bug apparently. I also have cyclizine that was prescribed when pg that I take.

spacechimp Thu 06-Dec-12 13:04:11

Hello, hope you don't mind another poster. I have been lurking with interest for a couple of weeks and have found so much that resonates with me. I used to really enjoy the run up to Christmas but now find this time of year so stressful and at times v. difficult to cope with, and I don't even have dcs which means I'm not exposed to d&v bugs as much as most of you. I really admire you all for how you cope. I really don't think I could.

I am terrified of norovirus, and find it a real struggle coming to work and mixing with people at the moment, as well as having to read/listen about it in the news. I just keep thinking if I can get to Christmas I'll be ok, but then I'll be worried about staying with relatives and the chances of getting it there. I can't win!

For what it's worth, I'm one of those people who found being sick awful and it has made my emetophobia worse. I've suffered from health anxiety and ocd to a greater or lesser extent since I was very young, with a particular fear of being sick or having a d&v bug. I have often had d with my IBS and never minded about people being sick from being drunk - basically I can cope as long as I know it's not contagious and I'm not going to catch anything. Until last year I hadn't been sick for about 15 years, but the day before going into hospital to have surgery I was sick twice and had d. I was in a complete state about the surgery and so it could have been nerves, but I was convinced I had noro and that I wouldn't be able to have the operation. After feeling awful for the day before I woke up on the morning of the op feeling completely calm and with no symptoms. I still don't know whether it was nerves or a bug, and this freaked me out because it means that either I am capable of getting in that kind of state again when nervous or that despite all my hygiene precautions I still caught a d&v bug. Since then I've been properly emetophobic and have a lot more nausea than I used to when nervous, which takes me back into a state of panic thinking I'm about to come down with something. Now I can't see people being sick on tv or in films and I don't even want to be around people who are drunk and might be sick. I feel uncomfortable in crowded places and imagine all the possibilities that I never used to think about before.

I know I should have therapy for this (and have had it in the past for my health anxiety) but I couldn't handle it if the therapist suggested I needed to be sick for my fear to go away, because I know it's made me worse.

It is such a waste of my energy and stress. I hate it, and I hate the way it makes me want to be anti-social and just stay safe at home

roundabout1 Thu 06-Dec-12 13:30:13

Spacechimp - hi! I am glad to have found this thread as it reassures me I am not alone but also by reading it recognise that a lot of my behaviours are actually to do with the emet. To do with food, eating out etc For some reason I'd not recognised this before. I am in a mess at the mo, hugely stressful time here so am on edge & stressed so not eating normally & so feeling bad & then worrying about being sick. Its such a vicious circle and I'm really cross with myself for not being able to snap out of it sad

spacechimp Thu 06-Dec-12 15:01:39

Hi roundabout1 - I have got a lot of reassurance from this thread too, as I've recognised how similar my coping behaviours are to others with the same anxieties. It's made me feel a bit less weird in some ways, but also that I know my reactions are not 'normal' and are completely informed by the emet and other health/ocd anxieties I have. For me it's all been part of my life for so long that it's really difficult to get away from completely. The last time I had therapy I wanted to do CBT but the therapist told me that my issues were so long standing that she didn't think it would have much effect sad
I have also had some hypnotherapy this year to stop me feeling nauseous so much when worried, but it didn't do much good tbh.

I think I'm a lot worse when I'm stressed about other stuff, like work or relationships, and it can really get out of control. It's completely a vicious circle, but when you're in it it's really hard to get out of. When I'm more relaxed about things the emet and other anxieties are so much easier to cope with. I know it's all about control, and losing control by being sick, but for me it's a lot to do with contamination as well. I'm a mess, basically. DH is supportive up to a point, but I think he's lost patience with me over the years.

I'm sorry you're in a mess with it at the moment roundabout1, and hope everyone else is coping ok

lulu1971 Thu 06-Dec-12 16:26:13

I'm sorry to hear of all your stories which are so similar to my own. I really wish I could rid my life of it. I really try not to let it dominate my life but at times like these i can't. Well i am back at the germ pit that is my home ready to clean every last inch of it. I am so scared that i am going to catch it by just being here. I really do Hope not! x

spacechimp Thu 06-Dec-12 16:50:12

lulu will be thinking of you. I know I can't say anything to stop you worrying but I think you'll be ok. You know how to clean up properly and I'm sure you'll feel better once it's done. Hope your dp is feeling better now and that you're doing ok. I know the whole thing is just so exhausting, and it's difficult not to let it dominate sometimes. I find it impossible to put in perspective when I'm so anxious about being ill

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Thu 06-Dec-12 17:50:44

Good luck lulu.

Dh has his work night out tomorrow. I can't sleep when he's been drinking just in case he's sick ignoring the fact the last time he was sick while drunk was his Christmas night out when I was pregnant with ds1 which was 5 years ago now so I will be awake all night tomorrow.

lulu1971 Fri 07-Dec-12 08:35:51

Morning everyone. hope you are all wel today. Another night here. no signs of me getting it yet. Cleaned this place like crazy last night. so hopefully no bugs left in here. He.s been clear for 48 hours at midnight. do you think it's safe for me to get back into my own bed with him tonight and any idea how much longer I've got to sit here worrying whether i get it our not x

Marne Sat 08-Dec-12 19:50:07

Seems very quiet on here (hopfully thats a good thing).

Tonight dh has gone to his works party, both dd's are in bed and i'm a little on edge but pretty sure it will be a quiet night. I'm quite pleased dh is driving as it means i dont have to be anxious about him coming home drunk.

Lots of talk of sick children on fb again (not ure why i feel the need to reply to peoples status's when they say there child has been sick?, wish io could stay away).

I stupidly drunk coffee today (was trying to be sociable as dd1 had a playdate and i was invited in), i should realise buy now that coffee and me do not mix, a few hours later i had bad stomach cramps, felt dizzy and sick (so had to take tablets), feeling better now and in future i will keep away from cafiene.

stef06 Sun 09-Dec-12 10:53:59

My ds is not right in him self this morning he's very quite and said he had tummy ache sad well last time before he was sick he said he had tummy ache so I'm panicking. Has anyone else had quite children and it turned out that there was nothing wrong?

Marne Sun 09-Dec-12 11:48:40

Stef- my dd1 quite often does it (says she has tummy ach and is then fine), still makes me anxious every time.

stef06 Sun 09-Dec-12 15:53:25

Think it makes me worse because the only time he has been sick he said he had tummy ache now everytime he says it I panic /: he seems ok now still looks a little bit pale but he has perked up

roundabout1 Sun 09-Dec-12 17:57:32

stef - my dd often has tummy ache when she generally feels unwell. It always make me panic but 99% of the time she is fine.

It seems quite quiet on here which I hope is a good thing. We had to take dd2 (2) to out of hours this morning as she had been awake all night with ear ache. She has antibiotics now for an ear infection but has huge glands as well. My glands have been up in my neck & sore the last few days & today I am feeling achey, now I have stomach pains and so am panicking. Tomorrow is a big day as is a long awaited hospital appointment for dd1. The plan is that I go into the hospital with dd1 & dh takes dd2 somewhere as I dont want her playing with all the germy toys in the waiting room, also means I can actually concentrate on what the doctor says rather than having to stop dd2 trashing the place! Because of dd1's ongoing illness we have hardly gone anywhere for months so is the first time we will be going out of town for over 2 months. The hospital is 15 miles away so am a bit worried about going feeling a bit rubbish, what if I feel worse when out etc etc. Plus dd1 does get very car sick especially when nervous even after taking meds. I feel a worry ridden night coming sad

Marne Sun 09-Dec-12 19:43:39

Sorry about your dd roundabout, i had to pick dd2 up from school last week with ear ache which turned out to be a infection (probably from the tail end of this flu thing we have all had). We got stcuk in the gp waiting room for almost an hour as he was running late, waiting room was full of ill children and the dd's were touching every toy and book sad.

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Sun 09-Dec-12 22:13:34

I don't let my ds' touch the toys in doctors or hospitals.

My dh has had both his nights out and hardly drunk at all as he knows I panic and think he will be sick, times like this remind me why I love him grin

reastie Mon 10-Dec-12 10:46:57

roundabout hope your DD is OK.

I'm feeling really confused - off to GP in ten minutes. I've been signed off a couple of weeks as struggling to cope with the emet and germs in a school where I work. I was planning to go back this week. Just checked my work emails and loads of staff are off ill today - so much so they have emergency cover in place involcing getting someone in from outside to cover absences AND grouping classes together. I don't know if it's a tummy bug they have but of course I assume it is. The staff that are off aren't usually the type to have days off so I know they must be really ill, and you can manage to work with most things but not a tummy bug can't you. In a state now and don't know what to do about returning to work this week. If anyone sees this now can they offer any advice as to what to do?

Marne Mon 10-Dec-12 10:52:22

reastie- a lot of children and a few teachers have been off at our school with this fluey thing (some people have been sick with it) so might not be tummy bug. My mum had to take 2 days off with it last week and she rarely takes time off.

I'm still very anxious, 2 weeks left at school which is plenty of time for a noro outbreak sad.

reastie Mon 10-Dec-12 14:39:47

Thanks, you're right Marne. I saw my GP though and she told me not to go in this week confused . She said I've really relaxed and improved the past 2 weeks and I think she didn't want to undo the goodness I've done. I've managed to get an apt with a psychologist this week to help me, so fingers crossed onwards and upwards for me.

liveinazoo Mon 10-Dec-12 14:47:14

hi everyone<old and new>

ive finally started cleaning out all the kids rooms<4weeks after they were ill>as ds has returned to school,mornings only,although thursday we are at the hospital again for blood tests

the first thing a mum said to me was"has ds had the bug going round?"
"what bug" i ask nervously
"the sickness one thats is kinda flu like"

terrific!<i think thats the one mine had.i hope it is and they dont get it again>
she is a cleaner at the school and apparently staff are dropping like flies with it

i wish i home schooled them all!!!!!

hugs too all in need of one

santa your bloke is a star not getting drunk enough to retchgrin
reastie big hugs lovely,if its the bug like at our school not everyones beig sick with it some just exploding the other end apparently<sorry if thats TMI>

liveinazoo Mon 10-Dec-12 14:49:43

cross posted reastie

im pleased you are being taken seriously and getting some help
ive had to rely on telephone calls from my psychologist recently<hes a trooper> but will be seeing him in person tomoroow<all being well>

only down side is they have moved the rooms he usually works from and i cant get to them<i dont drive> so he is meeting me at the local childrens centre a haven for germs of all kinds

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Mon 10-Dec-12 17:23:08

Ds1 best friend A vomited on his best friend B in school today. Now while I'm glad it wasn't ds that got vomited on they were all sat together sad

reastie Mon 10-Dec-12 18:15:24

sad santa

Good to hear from you Zoo - was wondering where you had got to! There are alot of fluey bugs going around at the min but it scares me as quite a few of them involve sickness too - it seems even with a coldy bug I never feel safe any more!

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