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re my thread disappeared.... my DS is in a medium secure unit aged 15

(79 Posts)
wannabestressfree Wed 25-Jul-12 21:54:57

My thread has disappeared!!!!
Anyway I came to update.
I have had lots of contact from the hospital today and things seem to be moving toward him coming home from Birmingham to a more local unit. I suggested one in Orpington but my solicitor has sent the paperwork for it and it doesn't do well in its reports. They would like him to attend one in Ealing which is the sister unit of the he is at now........

Suddenly I am being deluged by phone calls so Bindmans are doing there job.......

I am saddened he is still deemed as needing a forensic unit and they are not willing to downgrade him but if he is nearer I will be much happier. I think realistically he stands to spend the rest of his childhood in a psychiatric hospital.

I wonder where my thread has gone.......
Was I full?

ISpyPlumPie Sun 10-Feb-13 14:28:02

Have just found and read this thread. Wannabe - I can only agree with everyone else about what an amazing advocate you have been for your DS; you are a true inspiration. I'm so happy that things seem to be so much positive for him now. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that he gets the funding needed to attend the school you have found.

I think the shocking state of MH services is an absolute scandal and something of a 'hidden secret'. The lack of support for patients and their families is truly shocking. Sadly, I agree with others that it is likely to get even worse sad.

legoqueen Sun 10-Feb-13 13:50:51

Another de-lurking to say well done, what amazing news. You have been truly inspirational!

PimpMyHippo Tue 05-Feb-13 21:12:31

grin How fantastic! I am so so happy for you and your family. And well done to your DS for making such progress! smile

wannabestressfree Mon 04-Feb-13 18:13:44

Thanks everyone. I finally feel like I have my son back

seaofyou Mon 04-Feb-13 13:55:56

That is wonderful wannabestressfree that has made 2013 for me so far smile

IamtheZombie Mon 04-Feb-13 13:54:40

wannabestressfree, what a wonderful outcome.

MrsMcEnroe Mon 04-Feb-13 13:50:29

De-lurking from this thread (and your old ones too) with a tear in my eye to say how fantastic that is, wannabe - so pleased for you and your family that DS is having home visits, and keeping everything crossed that you get the funding for his school place. What a shocking time you have all had. x

SnowyMouse Mon 04-Feb-13 13:27:26

I'm so happy for you, wannabestressfree, that's great news grin

wannabestressfree Mon 04-Feb-13 13:04:54

Hi everyone
I just thought I would give an update. DS has been on home leave :}
The unit he is in now do not advocate holding children any longer than necessary and think its counter productive so after a month of short visits home he has had two escorted visits home and two overnights on his own.....

I could burst with happiness

I am just waiting for his school placement to be agreed [I found a private ASD school near us that cater up to 19] and it goes to panel on the 11th feb. I am praying that after all he has been through they will agree to fund it. He isn't 'well' enough for college and needs time to catch up. It all boils down to money though.........

If its agreed they will start the road to getting him home fulltime. I can't believe it really especially as the other unit were convinced he would spend his life in hospital..........

Wannabe, been lurkkng for months and thinking about you.
Hope you had a chance to spend time together as a family over christmas. So how is he adjusting to the new place?
How are you?
Xoxo

tiredemma Fri 14-Dec-12 14:46:47

Wannabe. Your sons previous unit would have had an advocate?

Earthymama Fri 14-Dec-12 14:43:17

I have no knowledge of the mental health system at this level, though as a former Youth Worker I truly believe that children and young people in this society have no voice.

Many of them are showered with every material possession under the sun but never engaged with; many of them are abused and mis-treated but are never listened to, many of them are in crisis and have nowhere to turn.

And in this current climate it will get worse and worse.

Wanna you are a Shining Star, I have lurked and been shocked at your story.
I am sending love, cwtches and Blessings to both you and your DS and, of course, your other DC.
Have a lovely weekend, x

Selks Fri 14-Dec-12 12:33:17

The same third sector children's rights and advocacy services that are provided to 'looked after' children (children in care) should be extended to children in inpatient and resident therapeutic care in my opinion. Adults in mental health hospital have a system of advocates; it's shocking that children don't. I think the assumption is that children have parents / carers who advocate for them - and in your DS's case Wannabe you have been massively good at advocating for him - but it doesn't always work like that. sad.

wannabestressfree Fri 14-Dec-12 11:45:47

I really agree Brightspark and am hoping to become more vocal about it. I think the system stinks and needs overhauling...........
I feel there is a lack of help for children with mental health problems
I think children are left to rot in hospital and become institutionalised
I think parents have little or no assistance
I think a tandem approach would be mutually beneficial

The things I have seen are heartbreaking.

Brightspark1 Thu 13-Dec-12 08:21:41

Found your thread again, and I am so hopeful and happy for you. I hope you keep finding the strength to keep fighting. There is bugger all support for parents with children in psychiatric care, and challenging poor care is fraught with difficulties not least the fear of retribution from those caring for your DCs if you do complain(as I found out ). I find it upsetting to think that there are kids who have been left with no one to love or care for them! Someone has to 'bother', surely some sort of system of visiting and advocacy needs to be set up so that they aren't left so abandoned.

PimpMyHippo Wed 12-Dec-12 12:52:12

Oh how wonderful! He must be thrilled. smile

Selks Tue 11-Dec-12 19:42:17

Oh that's brilliant news!! grin Really pleased for you all. Sounds like this move is the beginning of a new much more positive phase for your DS.
Have a lovely meal out with DS; let us know how it goes smile

wannabestressfree Tue 11-Dec-12 15:08:32

Just wanted to update that DS has moved and went on his first trip outside yesterday with two members of staff :} YAY!!

And I am allowed to take him for a meal at the weekend with a nurse :}

I am so happy and there seems to finally be light at the end of the tunnel

noraa Mon 03-Dec-12 09:41:21

happy for you wannabestressfree your son getting better smile

i felt the same PimpMyHippo, its very sad that some of the other children don't have any people visiting them for a very long time sad

PimpMyHippo Sun 02-Dec-12 14:11:55

Hi, I've been following your threads since the beginning under various nc's. I'm glad the new place is more likely to give him leave, it's nice to have something like that to look forward to at least. It's heartbreaking that some of the other children don't have people visiting them. sad Your DS is very lucky to have a mum like you!

wannabestressfree Mon 26-Nov-12 10:31:27

Definately :} Will make him a lot more accessible with regard to visiting.

The self harm has completely stopped. The relief is enormous and I know his condition will be remitting but I feel I have a better handle on the triggers etc now and know about the levels of support.

I intend to highlight the aspergers again at the new place. He is lucky he has a harridan as a mother :/

Thanks for your comment

Selks Mon 26-Nov-12 10:19:30

Have just found this thread again Wannabe, and have read through recent events. Really glad to hear that DS is making progress in terms of self harm (I remember that being a real worry) and psychosis. Sorry to hear though that his Aspergers continues to be not recognised and supported enough though.
But it's great to hear that he's moving to a unit nearer home that is also less secure, that's got to be better for him and for you. smile

wannabestressfree Mon 26-Nov-12 09:59:07

Hi all

Well i travelled to Birmingham for the last time on saturday. I packed up the bits he couldn't take to the new unit [x box caused the most problems] and said good bye to his staff. He is so happy he will be closer to home and I think the new unit will be much more flexible with regard to leave and moving him forward. We should be having a meeting this week or early next to discuss the plan with regard to him.

I also saw our local MP to talk about the things that have happened to my DS and also other children in these units. I know my primary concern is DS but I feel so sad there are other children who have no contact/ presents/ someone who cares. DS's neighbour in the unit has had no visitor for 3 years......... He is the same age and was waving at me saturday. When I asked if we could send him some magazines/ bits at christmas I was told it had to be cleared by the managers and 'I wouldn't bother'.

I feel so sad there are lots of children like this..........

wannabestressfree Mon 19-Nov-12 10:53:45

I wondered if anyone had an advice re the unit he is going to be attending. Its the Wells in Ealing - a 10 bed medium secure forensic unit. DS has now gone full circle and is grouchy about going due to the fact he knows he will be isolated when he arrives. He knows if the transition goes smoothly there is a chance he may get some leave - certainly quicker than where he is now- but he is worrying about christmas again. Its the second away from home and he was desperate to get some home leave.......

Its no likely though and not likely I will be allowed to visit due to skeleton staff always being on christmas day....... really feel for him :{

Pochemuchka Thu 15-Nov-12 10:45:21

Hi, am just pm ing you!

It's quite lengthy but if you can get me some background back before 1pm I can go armed with information into my meeting smile

Congratulations on getting a date. I hope a new placement will be beneficial to your DS and that it'll make it easier for you to visit him.

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